My Star in the Darkness
by Gineah Draak
Summary: Lexa, and FBI agent who lost her first love in a crime. Clarke, a doctor who dreams about saving the world. They are destined to find each other in the dark.
1. Ghosts

**Ghosts**

It was already dark and the wind was howling softly among the leaves and the cold gray stones scattered across the hill.

It was drizzling and playful droplets began sliding on her black trench coat. Her brunette wavy hair was being caressed by those tiny tears from the sky as well, however, she did not mind. It was soothing, or at least something close to that sensation she had long forgotten.

Her footsteps remembered the trail by heart. Even though she would only venture to walk up that path once a year, she remembered. She could reach that lonely spot even if her eyes were closed.

One of her hands was inside the pocket of her trench coat whereas the other held a flower bouquet . Her eyes were looking ahead without truly absorbing the landscape before her.

Suitable. The weather was suitable and it synchronized with her own mood, with her own feelings.

She sighed.

Every single year after her loss she could not help but feel this overwhelming devastation rooted in her heart. She once thought things would get better. She once thought time would heal all wounds, but here she was, 7 years later and her chest felt as constricted as that gloomy day.

Time did not heal everything she had learned. People just got used to living in pain, that's all. And by "living" she actually meant surviving. After all, who could keep on living with a faded soul? Whose existence could be called "life" if the purpose of the heart was simply pumping blood?

After leaving a trail of crushed grass beneath her feet, she finally reached her destination.

A beautiful willow tree at the top of the hill. An ever watching giant which stood out majestically in the huge graveyard.

Lexa placed the purple orchids tenderly by the foot of the tree, on a carved plaque which read:

 _Costia Evans , 1992 – 2009_

 _Beloved daughter and the kindest spirit on Earth_

"Hi, Costia" Lexa's voice was gentle, barely a whisper. Her lips attempted to form a smile, but failed miserably.

"Wherever you are, I just want you to know that you have not been forgotten. You will never be."

Those words brought about a sense of dread in her chest. She didn't want to, but tears started escaping from her eyes. How she hated to do that, crying.

"I finally did it, Cos. It was made official last week. I wish you could have been there. I am a Federal Agent now, I am sure you would have told me I looked so smug and full of myself right there while I was notified."

A sob acme out and her voice faltered.

Oh how she despised herself for being weak, still.

She wanted to say so many things, to pour her heart out, to tell her how much she still missed her, how badly she missed her laughter, her lovely smile, her jokes, her wild spirit and how she would hold her hand while walking on the streets feeling the sun on their faces and the endless possibilities of a future together. She wanted to tell her that she was on her mind every single day and that she was her inspiration and the only thing that kept her going after all those years even if nothing made sense.

Becoming an agent to fight for justice was the aftermath of Costia's death.

Every criminal behind bars would be a way to honor her memory, a way to fight the guilt of losing her in such a cruel manner.

Lexa had sworn to swerve and protect so no one would have to suffer the tragedy she had undergone.

So many thoughts, so many emotions. Yet, she remained silent.

Costia was gone. Her first love was long gone. So why would she waste her breath? She could not hear her anymore. She would never do so again.

After several minutes, she closed her damped green eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I am sorry, Cos… I wish I could have been stronger then."

But she hadn't been. She had failed to protect her and a stray bullet took her life away.

Lexa looked at the petals that shook lightly under the touch of the rain drops. She knew they were beautiful but somehow she could not marvel at them, she could not enjoy their color, their fragrance. She could no longer relish in the little things that made up life.

She wondered if she would ever do it again.

She glanced at the being in front of her. Costia's favorite kind of tree.

"Take care of her for me" she said before turning around and walking away, letting the darkness envelop her in its familiar wings.

At the same time, on the other side of the cemetery, another figure stood still before a tombstone.

The woman was trembling, not only because of the icy wind, but also because of the tidal of emotions that was just too much to bear.

Clarke was wearing a gray winter coat, even though it was fall. The scarf around her neck was not warm enough, she thought. She had forgotten her gloves at home, so she was trying to keep her hands warm by rubbing them from time to time.

"Hi, dad" her husky voice struggled with the roar of the wind.

"I could not bring you flowers this time, but I got you this" She shoved her left hand into her pocked and took out a chocolate bar. She willed herself to smile. "Milky Way, your favorite."

She bent down and put it carefully on the tomb.

 _Jake Griffin 1965 – 2013_

 _Devoted husband and father_

 _Everlasting Stargazer_

The blonde sighed. Her silky hair was completely drenched, but it did not matter. She had to be there, just like every other March 3. It had been a promise and she knew she would keep her word forever. Even though she knew her father was not actually there, she always felt this moment as an opportunity to express her innermost feelings. It was better and less costly than therapy.

"Everything is fine. I was accepted at Arkadia Hospital and I am starting this new adventure next Monday. I wish you could see me in my white coat. I totally rock."

Her gaze fell upon the engraving.

"Things with mom have not been easy, though. I know, I know. I've tried, I am doing my best but… Whenever I see her I remember she's the reason you are… here. I just can't see past that… I don't know if I ever will."

Tears streamed down her face. Since he died, her world seemed to have become lackluster, empty. And to add insult to injury, her mother had just practically disappeared from her life. She felt guilty for her husband's death and that feeling had created a gap between them. They were not mother and daughter anymore, just strangers who looked at each other awkwardly when sharing lunch or a once in a blue moon breakfast.

And Clarke was not faring any better. Not really. She also blamed her. In the back of her mind and very deep inside she understood that it was not fair to do so, that death was part of life and that it could claim anyone at any given moment, but still…

If her mother and father had not fought that night. If her mother had not slapped him, he would not have stormed out of the house and started the engine of his car. He would not have been furious and maybe, just maybe, he could have thought on his feet when a reckless driver went through the red light.

So yes. She resented her mother.

A bitter taste in her mouth has her cue to change topics and she wiped her tears mixed with rain drops with the back of her left hand.

"I've been dating a guy for quite some time now. I met him eight months ago. His name is Finn and I think he's ok. I mean, he's kind and he makes me laugh, so… Let's see where that goes."

Clarke wished she could sound more excited when talking about her boyfriend. However, something was off. Dating him felt more like a compromise than a delight. Of course she liked him, that is why they were together. It was just that… She could not put a finger on what the issue was. It was simply not what she had expected. Then again, she never truly knew what to expect in terms of a relationship. He was her first serious partner. Maybe she needed more time to feel more at ease. Maybe love was not supposed to be passionate and crazy, just warm and comfy.

Another sigh turned into a ghostly fume that quickly dissipated in the wind.

"I miss you, dad. I miss your lame jokes and I miss watching soccer games while eating popcorn and BBQ wings till we burst. I miss looking at the starts while you ramble on and on about the creation of the universe and your nutty theories. I… I just miss you."

She looked up and had to close her eyes so more water would not blur her vision. No stars for them tonight.

It was getting colder and the rain was getting ruthless as well.

"Anyway… I've got to go, dad. It would be rude of me to get sick and miss my first day at work, wouldn't it?" She bent down, kissed the tips of her right hand fingers and placed them on the tombstone, right on her father's carved name. "I love you…"

She smiled at the lifeless piece of stone, turned around and strolled away.

In the distance, she thought she had seen a human shape coming down a hill, but as soon as she attempted to focus on it, it vanished into thin air.

She shook her head.

Who would be insane enough to be in a graveyard at night while lighting rattled the sky over their heads?

Only herself, that's for sure.


	2. Sisters in Arms and Fairytales

**Sisters in Arms and Fairytales**

She was panting. Her body was covered in sweat, but her clammy hands underneath the kickboxing gloves were restless. Her knuckles were starting to ache, but she couldn't care less. She just had to keep going.

She was barefoot and her shins and insteps were reddened. She would have to put some ice on them later on, she knew it. But then again, it didn't matter. Not tonight.

Lexa was hitting and kicking the punching bag with all her might, which was, to say the least, an onslaught.

Her hair was pulled away in a ponytail to prevent it from hindering her eyes and making the exercise session awkward. She was wearing a black tank top and a pair of black sport shorts. Droplets of sweat were dancing on her body, sliding down her arms, her toned back and abs. She had been doing this for over an hour and she couldn't stop.

She should have been focused on just beating the crap out of the sawdust sack, but her mind wandered regardless of her refusal. Images of Costia's dreadful last night were haunting her.

Leaving the cinema after seeing 'Seven Pounds'. _Punch._ Entwined fingers, soft smiles. _Punch._ Walking carelessly on the streets, talking about life, their promising life. _Punch._ Holding her tightly because Costia had been a little shaken by the movie plot. _Kick_. Kissing her temple. _Kick._ Her sigh of relief. _Punch_. Screeching tires before hell broke loose. _Punch._ A brawny man approaching them. _Kick._ A gun. Costia screaming.

Lexa gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, kicking the punching bag so hard that its chain detached from its ring and the bulky object flew away.

When she opened her eyes, she realized what she had done and she was able to see that the poor sack had landed at someone's feet.

The newcomer did not even flinch. Instead, she lowered her gaze and glanced at the obstacle in her way.

"Please remind me to get a gym full insurance coverage if you're going to be around" Anya said dryly. She stepped over the punching bag and got closer to her exhausted looking friend.

"Sorry about that" Lexa shrugged and grabbed a towel to wipe her face and arms.

"I knew I'd find you here, making a good use of the spare key I gave you" Anya leaned on a column and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm breathing" Lexa replied, walking towards the fallen punching bag and picking it up. "You didn't have to come to check on me, Anya. I'm fine."

"Your definition of 'fine' sometimes baffles me, and please leave that on the bench over there, I'll have it fixed tomorrow"

Lexa did as instructed and placed the sawdust sack where Anya pointed at. She then sat on the same bench and started looking for her clothes in her gym bag. No more workout tonight then. Although she truly cared for Anya, she secretly hoped she would stop worrying so much about her and just let her be.

As if reading her mind, Anya explained:

"I don't mean to be annoying, not today anyway. But I bet you've just come back from the cemetery and I was wondering if you needed anything else, besides tearing my place apart."

Lexa stopped putting her clothes on for a second to spare a glance at her friend. "I've let off some steam now and I think I should head home, but thank you for your concern." Being a total wreck didn't mean she couldn't be polite.

Anya kept on watching her getting dressed, putting some pants on and a black hoodie.

She wanted to tell her she was not alone, but Lexa already knew that. She wanted to tell her she could be happy, that she deserved to let the past go and find herself some happiness, but then again, Lexa was also aware of that. So many things crossed her mind, but they didn't come out. Anya had never had a way with words, she was verbally-challenged one could say. So, her presence was a reminder of her silent support, even if it was a nuisance to Lexa right now.

She breathed out a heavy sigh as she raked her hand through her hair. "So… how was your date with Echo?" Anya asked, because of course, she had to change topics and be nosy.

"It was not a date" Lexa replied flatly, tying her shoelaces.

"Ok, how was your whatchamacallit then?"

"It was fine"

 _Fine._ Again, the meaning eluded her. Anya rolled her eyes. "Will you go out with her again?"

"I don't think so" Lexa stood up now fully dressed and grabbed her bag, slinging it over one of her shoulders.

"Oh c'mon! She's hot, she's smart and she can put up with your crap."

 _She's not her._ The treacherous thought was not voiced, but it was there. "She's just… not what I need." It was an honest answer after all.

"You know, there must be someone for you out there."

Lexa met her eyes. "Says the woman who hasn't settled down yet."

"You and I know I am not marriageable material, Lexa. I get a kick out of freedom and lustful encounters. I get bored easily."

"Have you then considered that maybe a serious relationship is not for me, either? I am perfectly content with my current lifestyle."

Anya perked her brow. "Are you?"

Lexa glared at her. Her eyes were clearly letting her know the conversation was over. She started walking towards the exit, but before reaching it, she stopped for a moment. "You are a pain in my neck, Anya… But thank you. I'll see you on Monday." And with that, she left.

Anya snorted and sighed, defeated. She missed her old friend. She missed the old Lexa. She hadn't seen traces of her in seven years and was starting to wonder if she would ever find them again. She, herself, was not into romance or fairytales, not really. She did not believe in soulmates and never-ending love. However, underneath that stern and imposing appearance, Lexa had one of the purest hearts people could ever dream of, and after all the scarring storms she had gone through, it still beat and it still felt like a whole gentle heart, even if it was torn into pieces.

She wanted to see her heartwarming smile again and not those fake smiles Lexa sometimes displayed whenever she wanted to be courteous or to get people off her back.

Life couldn't be that atrocious, could it?

Anya quit staring at the door and looked around her gym. Her eyes eventually fixated on the punching bag Lexa had nearly butchered.

"May you find what your heart truly needs, hardheaded klutz."

She whipped around, turned off the lights and walked out into the night.

Clarke plopped down unceremoniously on her couch. It had been a long day and the visit to her father's resting place had been draining as well. It was practically Saturday, 11:57 P.M. on Friday night and this would be her last weekend as an unemployed woman. She would join the productive and robotic working system as of next Monday. So all she really wanted now was to chill out while watching Netflix. A cheesy movie would suffice, or maybe a TV series that would not make her head spin, unlike Sense8, which she had tried to watch but felt totally flustered once the first chapter was over. The idea of a mental / spiritual connection with other human beings who were meant to find each other was just… surreal. Leave that to Quantum physicists and New Age practitioners. Tonight, she just wanted to unwind and forget about the hidden meaning of life and universal disputable truths.

Her stomach growled.

 _Fuck_.

She had forgotten to have dinner and she was sure she would keep forgetting as soon as she began her shifts at the hospital.

She rose up off the couch and began heading to her kitchen, mentally chastising herself because her fridge would be probably empty, except for some orange juice, milk and, luckily, Chinese leftovers (very likely spoiled Chinese leftovers).

Suddenly, a knock on her door, a pretty noisy and desperate knock on her door made her stop dead in her tracks. She would have jumped if it hadn't been for her very acute sixth sense which told her that only one person was capable of such boisterous calling at this ungodly hour.

She rolled her eyes in such a way she expected the people at the door –yes, that irritating person rarely showed up without her accomplice– to feel her exasperated expression. She turned around and walked towards the wooden structure, nonetheless. Before she opened and with her hand on the knob, she inhaled deeply and prepared for what was yet to come.

"Missed me much?" sparkling brown eyes were looking at her while a radiant smile screamed Colgate all over. The lady (lady?) in question was also holding an ice cream bucket, almost shoving it on her face.

Another woman elbowed the ice cream bearer into her ribs.

"Ouch! Missed _us_ much?" she quickly amended.

"Raven, Octavia…" Clarke said pretending to be surprised, eyeing both women and their 'cargo'.

Before she could even blink, Raven shouldered her way into her apartment and walked straight into the kitchen.

Octavia rolled her eyes (oh, Clarke was positive there would be a lot of eye rolling coming) and went after her friend. She was carrying some canned beer and a pizza box, which the blonde thought would be a fair payment for the trouble. The trouble they would bring about, of course.

"We thought you could use some company" the attractive and less sassy brunette stated, while placing the stuff on her kitchen counter. "We know what date it is today, so we just wanted to stop by and see if you were ok."

Clarke looked at the clock above the TV. "Was… what date it was…" she pointed. It was midnight.

"Semantics" Raved shrugged. She grabbed two spoons and returned to the living room with her beloved dessert. She then sank into the love seat more than ready to dip one of the spoons into the ice cream container.

Octavia, trying to be more thoughtful, grasped some plates and napkins and took them alongside the pizza and the beer to where her friends were. She set everything on the small coffee table in front of her and had a seat on the couch.

Clarke just shook her head, more amused than annoyed and settled on the couch as well, right between her two visitors. She didn't waste any time and owned two slices of pizza and placed them on a plate before Raven got bored with the ice cream and decided to gobble the whole thing up.

"Thanks for bringing dinner" the blonde took the first bite. Yes, her taste buds were beyond thankful.

"No problem" Octavia opened a can of beer and had a sip of it. "What are we watching?" she had already noticed the Netflix main page on the TV screen.

"I feel like watching a romantic comedy or something along those lines" Clarke shrugged.

"Ugh,no!" Raven protested as she splattered some ice cream on her chin. "I've already had my dose of that with Octavia's relationship with Lincoln. Spare me the sappiness overload."

Of course, Octavia rolled her eyes at the comment.

"By the way Clarkey, where's your pet?" Raven finally realized she was eating like a pig and grabbed a napkin.

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows. "You know I don't have a pet."

"Oh yes, you do. You know the one with the messy hair, the wicked smile, the lovesick puppy eyes and I bet he moves his tail whenever you..."

"Stop!" Clarke closed her eyes and lifted a hand signaling to shut up.

Raven just smiled and wiggled her brows.

A very necessary eye rolling here. "Ok, first of all, Finn is _not_ my pet, he's my boyfriend. Secondly, he must be getting wasted somewhere…"

Octavia and Raven shared a glance.

"He actually wanted to be here with me" Clarke blurted out, suspecting what her friends were thinking. "He asked if he could stay over but… I don't know, I guess I just wanted to be alone."

Her friends stopped eating immediately and remained silent, looking at each other embarrassingly.

Clarke spared a glance at each of her speechless friends.

"No, no… I mean…" she stammered and slouched on the couch. It was not her intention to sound like an ungrateful douche. "You know how cranky I get in this season and Finn gets handsy most of the time and..." she puffed out a breath. "Not a great combination right now."

Octavia and Raven seemed to understand and resumed their drinking and eating.

"Don't worry, hot stuff, I promise I won't lay a hand on your boobs if you don't want me to" Raved winked at her while bringing a huge spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

Octavia nearly choked on her pizza and had to sip some beer to avoid dying.

"Thank you Raven, your consideration is endearing" Clarke made a ball out of a napkin and threw it at her. Unfortunately, the mischievous brunette dodged it very easily and it ended up on the floor somewhere.

"Anytime" Raven puckered up.

"Well, Clarke, if you want to be left alone we can get our asses out of here as soon as we finish dinner" Octavia eyed Raven "which will be in like… 30 seconds considering the human vacuum cleaner over there."

"No, it's ok. Please stay. I've done my solitude penance and I am glad you're both here." Clarke curved her lips upward. She did enjoy their presence and their solidarity.

Her friends smiled, too and Octavia took the remote control and started looking for something interesting to watch. Clarke, having finished her share of pizza –when she did it she could not remember- grabbed a spoon and tried to steal some ice cream from Raven, but the brunette just smiled triumphantly and dropped the empty bucket on the small table.

"Sorry, slowpoke. Better luck the next time."

Yes, another eye roll. And a whack on Raven's head.

Clarke practically dragged her feet into her bedroom. She was completely worn-out. It was almost 3 a.m. and she had just bid farewell to Raven and Octavia. In spite of her grief, she felt content. She couldn't have better friends. They were always there for her, they bent over backwards to see her smile and they got her in a way no one could. They understood her stubbornness, her kindness, her nightmares, her joy, her sorrow, her sporadic silence. They understood her whims, her passion for painting, and her undeterred desire to help others. Yes, she was blessed to have them in her life. Their friendship made her days brighter even when the universe laughed at her plans. That part of her life was fulfilling, it kept her grounded.

She let out a sigh while sitting down on the edge of her queen size bed. She looked around and her gaze landed on a leather jacket on a chair next to the door. It was Finn's. He must have forgotten it two days ago, when he had spent the night.

The nothingness in her chest felt wrong.

Shouldn't she be feeling giddy at the mere memory of her boyfriend kissing her and roaming his hands over her naked body? She should, at least, have a dopey smile on her face. But there was none.

The empty canvas caught her attention then. Adjacent to the chair, the easel stood proudly, awaiting her owner's inspiration. Something that had proven to be quite the feat lately.

She had bought that canvas by the beginning of that year, and since then it had remained untouched.

Why?

 _Great timing for going Oprah on yourself, Griffin_. She muttered, frustrated by her brain's capacity to ponder her life at that moment.

She got up from the bed and walked mindlessly to the window.

The light from the street lamps provided her with a somewhat clear view of the neighboring buildings. Puddles on the street and sidewalks were reflecting the surroundings and turning them into abstract images through their ripples. She could even distinguish the tree line of Central Park, now engulfed by blackness.

She looked up searching for stars among the clouds that were moving ever so slowly. She could come across a few and that made her smile a little.

Maybe the dullness would fade away once she started working. Maybe her life would acquire a new meaning then. She ached to look after others, to ease their pain, to bring them comfort. Hence, her career choice.

She had not been totally sold on the idea at first because she really wanted to become an artist, but the death of her father had been a turning point and she set her mind to do her best to become a doctor in order to aid people. She could not bring him back, but she could at least try to save others and prevent more funerals from happening, prevent more tears from shedding.

Yes. This undesired numbness would have to go away, eventually. She only needed to feel useful and everything would run smoothly. That neglected canvas in her bedroom would be covered in lively colors and ambitious dreams.

Someday.

Sleeplessness was her fierce foe in the wee hours of that morning. Lexa had been rolling in the sheets for hours, staring at the shadowy shapes on the ceiling.

After getting home, she had taken a quick shower and had eaten a salad just to humor her stomach, since her appetite had been nowhere to be found. But as soon as she had gotten into bed, she knew she would be in trouble.

Anya's words lingered on her mind despite her efforts to push them aside.

 _There must be someone for you out there._

Was there? She wondered.

Did she even care?

She checked her alarm clock; it was almost 3:30 am.

 _Fuck_

Being fully aware of her mental rollercoaster, she let out a sigh of frustration and decided to get some fresh air. That might help her clear her mind.

She got out of her king size bed grumpily and padded to the sliding door which led to her balcony.

After opening the door, her eyes took in the landscape before her and she felt the cool breeze all over her face. She did not only have a magnificent view of the now eerily illuminated Central Park, but also of the cityscape, which was embellished with colorful bright lights she knew could be seen from outer space.

She was restless. Her heart felt restless.

She approached to the railing and leaned over it. The playful wind tossed strands of her hair and she let it, feeling an odd sense of comfort that she could only find in moments like this, in the gentleness of nature and silence.

"Someone for me… out there." She muttered to herself, keeping a snarky smile at bay.

There was. No, there had been. Once. And she was gone.

She had witnessed how life seeped out of her slowly, out of that someone, right in her arms. She had witnessed Costia's last breath, last touch on her face, last everything while she held her for dear life, begging her to fight, begging her to hold on, to stay with her, to stay alive. _Don't go, please, stay, stay, don't let go, please…_

When her eyes closed for the last time, Lexa knew Costia had taken part of her soul with her. Most of it, perhaps all of it.

How was it possible for someone else to actually exist for her, out there?

What could be greater than her greatest dream?

How could anyone outdo very single morning kiss Costia had given her?

How would it be possible to imagine better, to feel better? How?

A tear defied Lexa's resolve and it rolled down her cheek.

They'd met in the forest, during one of the trips Lexa used to take. After losing her parents at the age of 12, Lexa had thought she would never make peace with life, but she had been wrong, so wrong.

They had been just teenagers, clumsy and naive teenagers, but they fell in love too fast, too innocently.

Costia's warm smile managed to melt the glacier within Lexa's heart in an instant, at the very first sight of her. After spending time with this girl who was trying to win her over with silly jokes and sweet antics, Lexa knew she would be defeated. She knew it that day, when Costia had held her hand and pulled her to dance among the flowers, with no music to move their bodies to. Right there, holding each other, smiling, widely, Lexa believed she wouldn't have to be alone ever again.

But then again, life didn't seem to care. Life never seemed to care about her plans, or wishes, or dreams.

It took Lexa two years to mourn her and finally accept her demise. Two years of traveling and studying her fingers to the bone. Two years full of denial, hatred, rage, sadness beyond repair, bitterness, and above all, despair. Unfathomable heart wrenching despair.

Then came the resigned acceptance. She had to stop wanting things to be different. She had to stop yearning. And she did. Nevertheless, that didn't mean she had to enjoy life, did it? She had tried and failed.

Then the dating phase began and she found herself surrounded by women and men who were making foolish attempts to woo her, to get her attention. Men were out of the question, of course. She'd always known that. One the other hand, women… Well. Some one-night stands and some vapid dates that had led nowhere. No one had been able to take her walls down. No one had been able to even break through them, not even leave a scratch on them.

No one deserved a heart in smithereens, and hers was it. She had convinced herself that she was incapable of giving because she didn't have anything to give in the first place.

And yet, here she was, wrapped in her musings, pondering over Anya's words and opening her Pandora's box.

Lexa looked up to the night sky. She didn't believe in happy endings anymore. The "love conquers" all thing was just a catchy phrase authors used in their books to boost sales and innocent hearts which didn't know better.

Perhaps she had already had her share of happiness and that was it. There was no more. Not for her.

After all, many people were meant to be alone, weren't they? She could be one of them. As simple and as cruel as that.

She had convinced herself that didn't need anyone because needing someone always led to disappointment and heart ache. Loving someone led to tears and tears made her feel vulnerable and she couldn't afford to be weak.

Lexa inhaled the fragrance of the city until it filled her lungs.

So no. She had too many reasons to remain skeptical and guarded.

Why would she cling onto the tiny spark of hope? Hope was the double-edged sword that often cut hearts in half. And hers could not take another blow.

She quietened down her thoughts for some minutes while she stared off into space.

After some minutes passed, she made up her mind. It was settled. No more nonsense. No more longing for legendary loves that were not within her reach.

Loves was, in the end, weakness, and she would require all her strength to begin a new life, to start a blank slate. So it was time to rejoin the land of the realists and put fairytales away.

Before turning around and stepping into her penthouse, her eyes trailed to the now discernible stars and something within her stirred briskly as an unknown sensation spread over her chest.

She ignored it and entered her shelter, hoping that a few hours of sleep would keep her feet on the ground and her crippled illusions at bay.


	3. A Hell of a Ride

Chapter 3

 **A Hell of a Ride**

It was bright. Suspiciously bright. She could feel the warmth of the sunlight planting insistent kisses on her face, neck and shoulders.

The light poured in through the open curtains and splashed onto Clarke's bed as if it were a spotlight pointing to a very slothful superstar whose golden hair was sprawled all over a pillow.

The sleeping beauty stirred lazily. Her eyelids refused to open in spite of the fair amount of brightness that was becoming too annoying for their liking.

Clarke groaned and grabbed her pillow and pulled it across her face trying to shield herself from a brand new day. She had finally managed to fall asleep at what time? 4 AM? She just needed Saturday morning to cut her some slack, was it too much to ask?

A few minutes passed as her mind was blooming with profanities and then it hit her. She opened her eyes and her breath got caught in her throat.

 _Shit!_

She turned over the bed to check her alarm clock.

 _Shit!_

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" She practically jumped out of bed when she realized she had overslept. She was supposed to meet Finn for brunch at 12 PM and it was almost 11 AM. She had obviously forgotten to set the alarm, but based on her current state of mind and body, she would have kicked the freaking thing into oblivion anyway.

"Shit, shit, shit!" she literally jogged into the bathroom and washed her face. She didn't really have time to take a shower and get ready properly for her date with Finn since her commute to the café would take her about 45 minutes.

Her hair was messy, like a battlefield hairstyle after losing, of course.

She groaned again in front of the mirror and considered calling off brunch. However, she recalled Finn's pleading eyes when he'd told her it would be paramount for her to be there on time or just for her to be there. He hadn't explained to her why that brunch seemed like a matter of life or death and she hadn't bothered to ask for further information. She had assumed he had been too eager to see her after she had ditched him to spend her Friday alone.

She sighed. No make-up then. She tied her hair in a misshaped bun; it was all she could afford right now. He wouldn't mind it anyway; he always told her how sexy she looked no matter what. _Let's see if he thinks the same when he sees me today,_ she thought.

Nope. No time to make the bed, either. But then again, when did she ever?

She opened a drawer and took out an old white OITNB t-shirt and put it on. The huge orange letter prints on the front were almost washed-out and Alex Vause's face on the back looked a little bit creepy now, but hey, it was Alex Vause, right?

She decided to wear some worn-out jeans with some paint stains on them and then, to top her shabby outfit off, she put on a pair of white snickers. At least there were no holes in them so her toes would not stick out.

She closed her bedroom door to take a look at herself in the large mirror there.

 _"_ _I already look like a homeless starving artist with a touch of a sloppy doctor-wannabe"_ she grumbled.

That's all she could do for now.

A sour smell reached her nose.

"Fuck, deodorant!" she really did not want to live up to her image that morning, so she grabbed the personal hygiene product and applied it generously. She also put on some perfume and walked out of her bedroom.

"My keys?"

Oh. Her keys. Her ever evasive keys.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" she cursed (she had already exceeded her daily quota of shits) while pacing to and fro like a caged beast. Her eyes roamed around the living room and the kitchen. Why did she always have to struggle to find her keys? Her apartment was a fucking eggshell, for crying out loud!

She came across her cell phone first, which was a kind of consolation prize. She then remembered her visitors last night and she approached the coffee table, picked up the ice cream bucket and the pizza box (because nobody cleaned up, ever) and bingo! They were there.

She checked the time on her cell phone and growled. "Fuck!"

She stormed out of the apartment, heading to the elevator while the echo of a dozen "fucks" broke the silence of the corridor.

"FUUUUUCK!"

Yep. As soon as she reached the elevator, its doors closed mockingly in her face.

* * *

She arrived late. _Of course_.

The subway had taken longer than expected, something about a drunkard playing on the subway tracks, apparently chasing some belly-dancer elephants. And to make matters worse, Clarke had also made a fool of herself by accidentally groping a guy's butt when the aforesaid transport was forced to a halt due to such incident.

Before stepping into the café, Clarke looked up to the clouded sky and wondered why she had gotten up that day. Why on Earth she had been born at all. She was actually expecting to see a middle finger-shaped cloud greeting her from above. But she didn't.

An exasperated huff escaped from her lips and she could discern its condensation in the cold air.

Yes. Her ass was freezing. She had been in such a hurry that she had forgotten to bring a jacket with her and the weather was getting chilly.

She hoped, she truly hoped that after crossing the threshold of the café everything would do a 180 and life would become bearable once again.

She finally managed to put herself and entered.

The café was considerably larger than the ones she used to visit with her friends every now and then. It was also fancier and the patrons looked a little bit older than her. She could see some people in their 50s or 60s chatting quietly and enjoying their dose of caffeine. There was some instrumental music playing and she wondered why someone like Finn, a vivacious troublemaker, would pick such a place to meet. The décor was simple, yet elegant. There were some black and white pictures on the walls and everything around her made her feel like she had traveled back in time and had landed in a place where neat and tidy Casanovas would take their darlings on a date or where bored housewives would gather to gossip about their neighbors and would gloat over their perfect children.

And there she was. Sleepy, underdressed, disheveled and up to her eyeballs. And it was just 12:20 PM.

She sighed (again). She had a hunch. This was going to be awkward. It already felt awkward.

"Clarke!" Finn's enthusiastic calling pulled her out of her reverie.

He walked up to her smiling. He hesitated briefly before giving her a warm hug and a kiss on her cheek, though, and he hoped Clarke hadn't noticed his vacillation.

"You look… cute."

Clarke rolled her eyes at that. "Gee, thanks for the downgrade."

Her boyfriend cleared his throat. "No! I mean… Uhm… you look…comfy?"

Clarke covered her face with her hands. "I know, I know… I just … I overslept and then everything else went downhill from there." She did her best to collect herself and to look less strung out. "I would have really appreciated a heads-up on the place, though. I'm afraid people will mistake me for a beggar."

Finn scratched the back of his head. "Uhm… well, actually, I did not choose the place…"

Clarke furrowed her brows. "Who did then?"

"Finn, sweetie! Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Clarke heard the female voice coming from somewhere behind her boyfriend. She froze for a moment.

Finn smiled at her apologetically before inhaling and taking her left hand.

"Come, princess. They really want to meet you."

Clarke let herself be virtually dragged to a secluded table in the back of the café.

Finn stopped in front of a couple seated at the table. "Mom, dad, this is Clarke, my girlfriend."

 _Mom? Dad?... Oh fuck._ Clarke's stomach bottomed out. She was pretty sure every other organ had done so, too. She was beyond self-conscious. She could also feel herself turning 50 shades of…Pale. Her skin would turn vampire white, and not the fierce kind of vampire, but the freaking Edward Culllen-family sparkly vampire kind. She'd be transparent any minute now.

Mrs. Collins and Mr. Collins were looking at her curiously from head to toe.

The realization made her turn beet red under their scrutiny. Then she felt like an anime character spiraling into a pit of endless embarrassment (too much Sailor Moon during puberty, perhaps).

Yes. The universe was flipping her the bird right there.

Of all the days, why that one? Why?

"Uhm… Babe?" Finn placed his hand on the small of Clarke's back in an attempt to shake her out of her awkward silence.

Clarke suddenly remembered how to breathe when she saw her in-laws waiting for her to say something.

"Ple… Pleased to meet you, Mrs. and Mr. Collins!" She stammered with a dry mouth. All her saliva had apparently decided to go southward and gather in her palms.

"Are you all right, dear? You don't look very wholesome." Mrs. Collins stated. Her big brown eyes were studying her as if the blonde were a rare specimen.

"I… I think I might be coming down with something." She lied. Well, she truly felt she was coming down with an acute case of hopelessness.

"Clarke, you should have told me you felt unwell. Do you want me to take you home?" Finn held her hand and squeezed it gently, in spite of feeling how sweaty it was.

Clarke shook her head and cleared her throat. "No! No… I'm ok, I just need some water."

"Sure?" Finn asked, sincerely concerned.

She smiled lightly at his genuine care. "Yes, sure."

As soon as those two words had been pronounced, Mr. Collins, a tall white-haired man who looked like a fine gentleman, stood up and pulled out a chair for her. "Please, Clarke, have a seat." Once she did, he then lifted a hand gesturing at a waitress to come.

A young woman approached their table immediately. "Yes? Would you like to order now?"

"A glass of water for the beautiful lady over here." Mr. Collins said, pointing at Clarke. "We are not ready to order yet, but I am sure we will in a couple of minutes."

"A glass of water right away." The waitress nodded and walked off.

Clarke was truly uncomfortable and started fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. _Shit_ , _her OITNB shirt_. She really hoped Finn's parents were not fans of that TV show, otherwise they'd think she was not only a bum, but also a perv who enjoyed kinky jail scenes.

Finn took notice of his girlfriend's weird behavior. "Clarke, if you feel bad it's ok, I can take you home."

"No, I'm fine. It's probably the jitters. You know, Monday."

"Oh, yes, Finn mentioned you were going to start working at a hospital next Monday." Mrs. Collins commented. "You must be feeling a bit anxious and it's perfectly normal, dear."

"Yeah. I am beginning my residency at Arkadia Hospital."

"One of the best hospitals in the city. It is quite a privilege." Mr. Collins chimed in.

"Yes it is. I am very proud of my princess." Finn put his arm around Clarke's shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

Clarke did her best to smile, but the gesture did not even reach her eyes. Meeting Finn's parents had not been in her plans, not now, not so soon. They hadn't even discussed that before. It just felt like a very serious step in a relationship that was slowly developing.

"Aw! Look at you! So in love and so cute together!" Mrs. Collins eyed the couple and smiled fondly. "I can't wait to meet my grandchildren. They will be gorgeous!"

"Yes. I know." Finn snickered, placing a kiss on the top of his girlfriend's hair.

Clarke stiffened. _What?_

"Diane, please. You are embarrassing the poor girl." Mr. Collins said. "They haven't even gotten married yet and you're already picturing their offspring."

Clarke was thankful for Mr. Collins's sensible personality. At least one person at their table had their shit together at that moment.

"Oh, Dante. Marriage by now is a given, right sweetie?" Mrs. Collins looked at Finn with hopeful eyes. "A beautiful doctor is a keeper."

"Definitely." Finn replied, holding Clarke tight.

"I'm starving! " Clarke confessed suddenly, releasing herself from Finn's hold and taking a menu off the table to pretend to read it attentively.

No, of course she wasn't starving. Her stomach had decided to go on strike at that very moment. She was sure she wouldn't be able to digest any food for the rest of the weekend. This was just too much. Her in-laws were just too much. And the idea of marrying Finn and having his babies was just… What's beyond too much?

"Starving?" Mrs. Collins gaze landed on her son. Her delirious mind obsessed with weddings and grandchildren was playing tricks on her. "Sweetie pie, you _are_ using protection, aren't you? Because I remember how pale I looked and how hungry I was all the time when I was carrying you in my belly. I recognize the symptoms."

 _Oh god…_

* * *

After two excruciating hours, five glasses of water, a half-eaten turkey sandwich, and more questions than she had been able to count, Clarke was finally more than ready to make a run for it.

The bill had been taken care of and the seats had been emptied.

She barely remembered everything that had been said. At some point her brain had switched itself off out of mercy and she had just nodded and hummed along the conversation.

They were standing outside on the sidewalk, right in front of the café they had just walked out of. Finn and his parents were talking about… Flying muffins? Who knew. Clarke was not even paying attention. She was just glad to breathe in some fresh air, even if it was still cold and her arms were covered in goosebumps.

"My parents want me to give them a tour of New York, are you coming, princess?" Finn asked her, oblivious to her distraction.

Oh, right. They were just visiting for the weekend.

"I'll take a rain check on that, I am sorry." Clarke replied. No, she wasn't sorry at all. "I am still feeling a bit under the weather and I'd like to go home and get some rest. I wouldn't like to ruin your weekend with them by being in this mood."

"But…"

"Son, let her be." Mr. Collins butted in. Again, Clarke was grateful for this man's understanding. "As of Monday her life will become hectic and it seems she needs to unwind and prepare herself for a new life."

Finn suddenly looked like a scorned puppy that had been utterly rejected.

"Don't worry, sweetie. I am confident Clarke will allocate time for you, won't you, darling?" Mrs. Collings patted Finn's shoulder affectionately and then glanced at the blonde. "You will not neglect my wonderful son, will you?"

Clarke could not believe Finn's mother was for real.

"Uhm… Of course not, Mrs. Collins. I'll try to juggle work with my personal life to the best of my abilities." Clarke answered, feigning a small smile.

"Aw! You're such a peach!" The middle-aged woman stepped closer and gave Clarke a hug. "Welcome to the family, dear! And take care of the apple of my eye."

Clarke's oxygen left her body and transformed itself into a puff. Her arms slowly and lazily responded to the gesture of affection. "Th-thank you, Ms. Collins."

Mr. Collins shook her hand after Clarke's body was set free by his wife. "A pleasure to meet you, Clarke. And we wouldn't mind giving you a ride in our limo if you want us to."

 _Nooooooooo!_

"Do not worry, Mr. Collins. I'll take a walk and enjoy the fresh air, and if I don't feel better, I'll just take a taxi." Clarke did smile this time.

"Clarke, it's fine, we can take you home." Finn insisted.

The blonde gave him a peck on a cheek. "It's almost 3 PM, Finn. If you're going sightseeing you'd better get going. There's so much to see and you need to make most of the time with them. I'll be fine."

"Ok. Text me as soon as you get back home, alright?"

"Will do." Clarke smiled at them. "Goodbye and enjoy your stay Mr. and Mrs. Collins."

"Bye, darling!"

As soon as she turned around, Clarke released a sigh she had been holding in.

* * *

She didn't remember exactly how she got there. Everything had become fuzzy after walking away from Finn's family.

She could have gone home, but her body seemed to have other plans for her. Maybe not her body, maybe her mind was in need for space and tranquility.

What better place than her favorite spot in the city?

Clarke was sitting on a bench by the lake in Central Park. She didn't feel as cold as before, having strolled over an hour had warmed up her muscles a little. The low temperature was bearable now that she was capable of basking in the landscape before her eyes.

Fall was definitely her season of choice.

The peacefulness in the air, the falling of the leaves, the changing colors of the trees and the crispness of it all. The fall marked the end of a cycle and it was a promise for a new beginning. It was transformation itself, portrayed in the most beautiful way. Although some people felt nostalgic in that season –like herself-, she embraced its hidden meaning.

Clarke was taking in all the browns, the greens, the blues. The overwhelming sensation she had had was fading away little by little.

Finn's parents' amicable conversation had been draining. And Finn's answers had not fared any better.

She didn't want to think about marriage. It had never been a priority in her life. She had never understood why so many girls were so eager to tie the knot, to wear a ring that was a symbol of belonging to somebody else. And as for kids, well… She was not sure she actually wanted to have some of her own one day, let alone push a watermelon-sized person out of her loins.

She was still young; she still wanted to accomplish so many things. She wanted to become a great doctor whose feats would make her father proud. She wanted, if possible, to take up painting again, to be able to convey feelings and emotions and hope through her work. She wanted to travel, to visit exotic countries that would broaden her mind and teach her to see life from a different perspective which she would later glorify on canvases.

But mostly, she wanted to heal. She wanted to find a way to stop mourning over her father. She wanted to find a way back to herself.

There was a gap in her heart and no matter how hard she'd tried, it was there, still.

Giggles and laughter snapped her out of her reflection. She turned around and saw some children playing with their dogs on the grass.

Clarke smiled at the scene.

She missed that. She missed being able to live life to the fullest. She missed the bliss of innocence.

She chastised herself for prying and then she averted her eyes and decided to keep enjoying the view of the lake which embraced the sun beams wholeheartedly.

She inhaled the scent of old trees and peaceful waters. She didn't know when she would have the opportunity to do that again. She didn't know who she would be then after witnessing so much blood and pain and despair. She had to hold onto this sensation; she had to hold onto this idea of prevailing beauty even if there were so many things that could crush people's hearts.

So she sat there, trying to push those gloomy thoughts away. She had to let go of her own dead leaves and learn to bloom anew.

* * *

Her body had definitely woken up. After her afternoon run, which was supposed to be a morning run, Lexa felt her limbs and muscles practically humming due to their very welcomed physical activity.

She had gotten up incredibly late. She blamed, however, her restless mind.

Fortunately, her brain had given her a break during her workout and she found herself pleasantly exhausted. She slowed down her pace and opted for walking in order to enjoy the sight of Central Park.

She was wearing black sweatpants because it was too chilly for her to wear a clingy sport outfit and she was also wearing her favorite hoodie, a black one with the House Targaryen Logo on the front. Her running shoes had proven to be quite comfortable and resistant, so her soles were not complaining.

Truth to be told, she was a little bit anxious. No one would believe it, of course. She would never show it. And yet, she was. She would be one of the youngest FBI agents in New York and a very promising one according to her soon-to-be boss. She was very aware of the risk, of the godawful scenarios she would have to be faced with, but somehow she knew warrior blood ran through her veins and she was being lured to her true calling.

Before her mind started toying with somber ideas, she kept walking in search of a place where she could sit down and try to meditate. It had been a while, she knew, but based on the oncoming twist of events, she really needed any available resource to stay focused and calm.

It didn't take her long to find a nice spot by the lake, occupied by a lonely tree that seemed to have chosen to be the hermit of the park.

She got off the path and sat down, leaning her back against its trunk. She smiled when she felt the silent connection with that placid being.

She had always loved trees. Those selfless giants who made the world livable by just existing and they didn't ask for anything in return, even though they deserved better.

With an unvoiced 'thank you' to the tree, she closed her eyes and started drifting away.

A few minutes had passed when her contemplation was interrupted by a familiar male voice.

"Lexa?"

She turned her head and she was surprised to see a former classmate who had recently become a cop. He was wearing a simple navy blue T-shirt and a pair of grey sweat pants. She could notice he had been exercising due to the sweat mark around his neck. And he was not alone.

His huge brown Labrador approached her and began sniffing at her curiously.

She reached out and held her hand so it could smell her and see she meant no harm.

"A Labrador, Lincoln?" She asked in disbelief. "You didn't strike me as a guy who would have such a cute fluffy friend."

The tall and well-built man chuckled. "Really? And what kind of companion did you think I would have?"

"A grumpy bulldog maybe. Even a fearless Rottweiler with foam in its snout."

"Right."

"Name?" Lexa petted the dog's back once it started wagging its tail as a sign of sincere acceptance.

Although Lincoln was a little dark-skinned, Lexa was able to see he was slightly blushing. She quirked a brow at that unexpected reaction.

"Uhm… _His_ name is macho." Lincoln scratched the back of his neck.

Lexa did her best to refrain herself from laughing out loud. She barely succeeded and covered her mouth with the back of one of her hands, clearing her throat and trying to be the serious woman many people either respected or feared.

"I think you've just made my day." She stated, clearly amused.

"You'll never let that go, will you?"

"That's highly unlikely." She replied, grinning. "So, how did you decide on the name? Did you look at yourself in the mirror and got inspired or are Mexican soap-operas a guilty pleasure of yours?"

Lincoln's face reddened harder. "Ehm…I did not come up with the name. My girlfriend did."

Lexa's face displayed a cocky smile. "Macho indeed."

The Rambo-looking guy cleared his throat. His abashment was off the charts. "Uhm.. Speaking of my girlfriend, I am glad I ran into you because Octavia's birthday is coming and we're going out to celebrate next Saturday, so you're welcome to join us if you feel like dancing and having some drinks."

"Thank you for the invitation, Lincoln. I make no promises, though. You know that my social skills are…"

"Lacking? Non-existent?" He butted in, grinning.

Lexa rolled her eyes at him. "I was going to say limited, but thank you for acknowledging my penchant for peace and quiet."

"We, common mortals, would be delighted to have you among us even if it's just for a while."

Lexa's eyes fixated on the dog in front of her and she caressed his back once again.

"I'll think about it." She said finally, not really up to the idea, but she was fond of Lincoln and she had already turned down his invitations more than once. "If I am not on duty then, I might drop by for an hour or so."

Lincoln smiled. It had been a long shot, but he got a better answer than the one he had anticipated. "Good. And please, feel free to bring Anya along. I am sure she won't want to miss out on the chance to get some booze and to see hot bodies moving on the dance floor."

"She will be thrilled."

"Anyway… I'd better get going, Mach… My dog needs more exercise so he won't complain by destroying anything in my apartment. And I am sorry about the interruption. I'll leave you now to whatever it is that you were doing." Lincoln pulled the leash slightly and his dog went to his side immediately.

"It was nice to meet Macho Jr." Lexa said mockingly. "Enjoy your walk."

The man nodded. "We will." He and Macho returned to the path, but before they moved away, Lincoln eyed Lexa once more. "By the way, you'll be an awesome FBI agent, Lexa. They are lucky to have you."

She smiled warmly. "Thank you, Lincoln."

She watched them walk away and hoped her friend's words could be an irrefutable omen.

* * *

Clarke found herself shivering when the temperature began to drop slightly, so she decided it would be a wonderful idea to just stand up and go home to wrap herself in a blanket and become a human burrito for the rest of the afternoon; however, she had to put that off when she was ambushed by a cheerful dog that had run towards her and started jumping and wagging its tail playfully at the sight of her.

"Hey, buddy!" Clarke literally hugged the dog when he placed his front paws on her shoulders. Her face was suddenly covered with saliva thanks to the sloppy licks of affection. "Oh, my god! Yes, I am happy to see you, too, Macho Jr!"

"It looks like he has just come across a juicy afternoon treat." Lincoln stated as he walked up to them.

"You forgot to say yummy." Clarke winked at him while she managed to avoid more enthusiastic licking.

"My bad." Lincoln grinned widely. "I didn't expect to see you here, Clarke. It's a nice surprise."

The blonde got the dog to calm his excitement down a bit by petting him. "Yeah, well… It's been a hectic day and I came here, running away from it all."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The tall man looked at her with true concern. "Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe drag away that hairy beast that is harassing you just for starters?"

Clarke giggled. "Oh, no, it's ok. I think I can put up with one more hairy beast today."

"Oh. So Finn is the one to blame for the chaotic day, huh?" Lincoln asked.

Clarke guffawed. "Not entirely, but, yeah… He had something to do with my current I-want-to-move-to-another-galaxy mood."

Lincoln picked up the leash he had let go of when Macho had practically wiggled out of his grasp when he sensed Clarke's presence nearby. "I am right here if you need to talk to someone. I have a spare hour or so before I go back to my apartment to shower and then meet with Octavia."

Clarke rose from the bench and smiled at him. "That's very kind of you, Lincoln, but I feel much better now. I was actually about to go home to get some rest."

"Ok. Then I'll leave you to it."

"Just tie your shoelaces." Clarke suggested, gesturing toward his left food. "Octavia wouldn't like her macho alpha to trip and to hurt his fine-looking face."

Lincoln looked down and realized that he indeed needed to fix that. "Oh, right. Thanks. Could you hold this for me? You know how restless he can be." He asked the blonde, holding out the leash so she could look after his dog while he took care of that.

"Sure." Clarke clasped the leash, but as soon as she had done it, a baseball suddenly flew past them and Macho felt the urge to catch it. She had been unprepared, so she felt herself being pulled violently to the lake, which was just some steps away.

Macho seemed to be really fond of water, therefore he had no problem to try to fetch the ball even if it had clearly fallen into its cold waters. Of course, Clark did have a problem with that, but her reflexes apparently had been on strike that day and she ended up diving in against her will.

Clarke's child-like squeak and Macho's joyful barking made Lincoln look up and freak out at the view.

"Oh my god! Clarke!" He shouted, sprinting to their location. "Are you ok?!" He had to ask, despite knowing she wouldn't be. Not when she looked like a drowned rat.

Clarke wanted to scream, to say something, to curse whichever god had been on guard that day, but her body was completely frozen and she could only keep her mouth hanging open in a silent expletive as she tried to stand. On the other hand, Macho had actually fetched the ball and was getting out of the water with it in his snout, all proud and beaming.

Lincoln, a true gentleman, got into the water and helped her to her feet. "Shit, I am sorry, Clarke. I've got you."

Once on dry land, Macho had the brilliant idea of shaking off and got both of them wet, again.

"Macho! What the…?!" Lincoln protested in disbelief.

Clarke simply huffed, exasperated.

"I am so sorry." Lincoln said, grabbing Clarke's arms in front of her.

The very soaked blonde looked at herself. Her now see-through t-shirt was exposing her bra and some side effects of the cold, which she hoped Lincoln hadn't noticed because she really didn't need any more awkwardness today. Not ever.

"C-cold" she muttered, trembling and covering her chest with her forearms.

Lincoln knew his friend was seconds away from becoming a popsicle, so he had to come up with something, fast.

"Clarke, just wait right here. Don't move, ok?" He said, looking into her cerulean eyes.

"I…C-can't…Any-way". She replied honestly and barely nodded.

The hunky man took the leash and bolted as fast as he could, with Macho keeping up his pace enthusiastically while keeping the baseball between his teeth.

Clarke just stood there for obvious reasons, wondering where the hell Lincoln was heading. When she sneezed, all she could think of was that there was no way her day could get any worse.

"Is that you, Clarke?" A young woman asked. She was walking on the path, along with three more ladies. All of them were observing Clarke as if she were and odd and pitiful human specimen. Which she actually was at that precise moment.

Clarke turned her head slowly, very slowly, just in time to see the woman taking a picture of her with her cell phone.

 _On-fucking-tari. Oh fuck._

"I'll cherish this with all my heart." The lady smiled wickedly while she placed her right hand over her chest. "You look ravishing today, Clarke." Then she winked at her before bursting into laughter.

Her friends did the same as all of them kept on walking and leaving a very frozen and dumbstruck blonde behind.

* * *

Lexa's mind was dwelling in a faraway place where blue and violet nebulae were dancing among stars.

The wind was blowing gently as it tore off some of the brownish leaves of the tree Lexa was meditating under. These little wandering pieces of foliage scattered around her and she could feel some of them caressing her face as they fell.

Suddenly, this tranquility came to an end when she heard the commotion caused by solid strides nearby. She forced herself to open her eyes, and when she did, she was startled to see an overanxious Lincoln whose clothes were damped and whose dog looked just as wet but unexplainably joyous.

"Lexa, can I borrow your hoodie, please?" His voice was a plea and Lincoln's expression was a strange mix of guilt and concern.

Lexa's brows furrowed. "You do realize that you would definitely rip it, right, Hulk?"

Lincoln rolled his eyes at her. "Listen, it's not for me, it's for a dear friend…I will explain everything later, just trust me, ok?" He was almost begging with those kind big brown eyes.

Lexa sighed. She couldn't refuse to help a friend in need, and Lincoln obviously looked like a little kid who had just broken his mom's favorite flower vase.

"Fine." She rose to her feet and took off the garment, revealing a sport black tank top that wouldn't protect her body from the current weather.

Lexa gave her hoodie to Lincoln. "Here, just make sure you give it back to me; otherwise, I'll hunt you down."

He took it and nodded. "I'm sure you would, Woods. Thank you, I owe you big time."

Having said that, Lincoln took off rapidly and Lexa heard him shout:

"I'll give it back to you next Saturday!"

Lexa watched them leave and shook her head wondering what her friend had gotten himself into.

She shivered a bit because of the absence of her beloved possession that had done wonders to shield her from the cold, so she decided she should go back home, but before she turned around, she noticed that the baseball Macho had brought was there, by her feet. She picked it up and threw it up in the air, just to catch it a second later. She thought about chasing them to give it back, but why bother? She would be seeing Lincoln soon anyway.

Lexa turned and took a last look at the tree, _her_ tree for a day; she thanked him for its hospitality and then left jogging in order to warm herself up.

* * *

Clarke struggled to open the door to her apartment. Her fingers were too numb to fully cooperate.

After a few unsettling attempts, she finally succeeded and stepped into her refuge. She leaned her back against the door and let out a shaky breath.

So that was what being a human piñata felt like.

She didn't want to leave her apartment ever again. She just wanted to lock herself up and pretend that day had never occurred.

She reached into one of her pockets and pulled out her cell phone. Her wet and most likely ruined cell phone.

After giving her a ride, Lincoln had begged for mercy and had told her he would buy her a new one. Clarke kept staring at the device. That piece of junk had been with her for over three years now. She would miss it dearly, nonetheless. All those sent messages, all those selfies, all those phone calls made past midnight when her friends (or herself) were only slurring words after a wild night full of alcohol and sinful activities.

She sighed.

Lincoln had better buy her a cutting-edge one with all those cool apps she would never get to learn how to use.

Still, she forced her almost paralyzed feet to move and she padded her way into the kitchen. She took a bowl out of one of her kitchen cabinets and then poured some rice into it. She was sure she had read about this trick somewhere and, considering the circumstances, it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. So she put her cell phone into the container and made sure rice grains covered it completely.

She then headed for her bedroom. Her muscles were nearly paralyzed by now. She needed to take a very hot shower. No, a hot bath. She'd fucking earned it.

She removed her snickers and realized she'd have to wash them as soon as possible before they stank. She was about to take off the hoodie Lincoln had borrowed for her when all of a sudden she became fully aware of the perfume it gave off, which of course, she had completely ignored before while she was trying not to die of hypothermia.

It was a mysterious, yet magnetic combination. There was definitely a hint of sandalwood, mixed with what? Cinnamon?

The aroma was indescribable, but somehow she caught herself inhaling it deeply as she closed her eyes to savor that intriguing scent.

What kind of woman would bear that enticing smell? What kind of personality did that perfume match?

Clarke snapped her eyes open. What the hell was she doing? She was second away to ask the hoodie out on a date.

She decided that what she was doing was entirely inappropriate and finally took the hoodie off.

It was then when she noticed the Targaryen dragon on it. When Lincoln had given her that piece of clothing, the last thing that crossed her mind was to check the print it displayed. Now, however, she was able to take a look at it and she smiled at her discovery.

The owner of the hoodie had a great taste. Clarke herself was a big fan of GOT and she had her own Stark t-shirt in one of the drawers of her dresser.

She couldn't help but wonder if the faceless girl who usually wore that garment would be fun or interesting to talk to. If she would also jump and cheer as soon as the opening theme started; if she had let herself cry when the number of the Stark family members began decreasing considerably.

Clarke was unable to stop (and explain) her excitement about the whole idea of finding out who the owner of the hoodie was; and she certainly didn't understand why her mind was swooning at the mere thought of meeting the enigmatic lady.

She would indeed meet her, right? She had to return this article of clothing to her. Unless she chose the sane and most logical road and gave it back to Lincoln, so he could hand it back to his friend.

Anyway. That was a lot of thinking, and most of her brain cells were still frozen. She would have to put off this strange train of thought and get herself into the bathtub before she turned into a white walker. Nevertheless, she sniffed the garment one more time before placing it on the chair where Finn's jacket was.

 _I am a total creep,_ she thought shaking her head, amused by her abnormal behavior.

She could not believe that that warm hoodie had become the most unexpected highlight of her catastrophic day.


	4. Just a Common Sunday

**Chapter 4**

 **Just a Common Sunday**

Clarke could literally see tears in Raven's eyes as her friend held her stomach tightly. After spewing out her sip of beer all over the coffee table in the living room, Raven had burst out laughing uncontrollably and all Clarke had managed to do was to hold her own head with her hands, resting her elbows on her knees and just wait for that fit of laughter to subside.

Octavia was trying too hard not to cackle, but she was doing a terrible job at it, so she just covered her mouth with both hands in an attempt to muffle her own amusement.

After some minutes, which felt like hours, Clarke looked up at a very red Raven who was wiping away her tears with her fingers and asked her: "are you done?"

Raven nodded enthusiastically; however, as soon as she had a look at the screen of her cell phone, she began laughing again.

Growling, Clarke grabbed the cushion next to her and threw it at Raven's face.

The sly Latina dodged it successfully and the soft missile landed on the floor behind the love seat where the target was seated.

"I swear to God, Raven, if you don't stop, I will…"

"Hit me with a baseball?" Raven asked, giggling.

"Drown her in a lake?" Octavia chimed in, mocking her.

At that, Raven just fell onto the floor, roaring with laughter.

Clarke rolled her eyes and held her hand up, flipping the bird at each of them. "I hate you both so much right now!"

Octavia breathed in and out to pull herself together for the sake of her blonde friend. She and Raven had just finished listening to Clarke's story about the previous day and those anecdotes had been hilarious. She was sure they would come up again someday when they gathered around a bonfire with their grandchildren and shared horror stories and war wounds. But for now, they had already teased her friend enough, so she was going to pretend to be the mature friend Clarke needed and stop the mockery.

"Ok, ok… I'm sorry, Clarke." Octavia said, finding her voice at last. "I promise we're going to be the supportive gals you need us to be from now on…"

Clarke glared at the piece of meat on the floor that was still snickering non-stop.

"Really, Octavia?" the blonde asked, making a point.

"Ok, I _am_ going to be the supportive one." The cute brunette said; she then spared a glance at Raven. "She is going to keep on being the buffoon of the gang."

"Hey!" the Latina protested, sitting and leaning her back against the love seat. She had decided to remain there since she knew her legs were too wobbly to stand up and sit on the piece of furniture properly.

Clarke sighed meekly, slouching her shoulders. "I don't know what I am supposed to do now." She confessed.

"About Finn?" Octavia asked.

"Or about this really amazing picture of you which I will get framed as soon as I leave your apartment?" Raven asked, practically shoving the photo on Instagram in her face.

Of course Ontari had uploaded _her_ picture on the social networks, on every social network she could have access to. Raven had just come across that picture that very same morning -Clarke completely soaked in Central Park-, hence, their unannounced visit.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Raven's comment. "Don't you dare, Reyes!"

"C'mon, Clarkey! Look at the bright side! You look smokin' hot in that drenched t-shirt!" Raven winked at her, showing her the pic again. "It's gotten so many likes already!"

"Bite me, Reyes!" Clarke retorted.

"With that t-shirt clinging to those deadly curves of yours, I'd be glad to." Raven sniggered.

Clarke groaned and let herself fall completely onto the spongy surface of the sofa, making Octavia scoot over further to the other side to give her more space to sprawl.

"That was one of the worst days, ever." She said, fixating her gaze at the ceiling.

"But it's over and you're here with us." Octavia pointed out, caressing her friend's hair fondly.

"Yeah, Griffin. Your dignity is at the bottom of that lake, but you're here and that's all that matters."

Octavia was about to laugh, but she stopped herself when she saw a scowl on Clarke's face.

"Remind me why I keep you as a friend, Reyes…?"

Raven finally rose from the floor, lifted Clarke's feet and sat down on the couch, placing the blonde's limps on her lap. " 'Cause you love my wits and charm, Griffin. That's why."

Clarke moved a little, so her head would be on Octavia's lap while Raven massaged her calves gently on hers. Her eyes were still glued to the ceiling, recalling last day events. She couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling in her chest triggered by Finn's parents' talk.

"I don't want to marry him." The blonde blurted out, just like that.

Both Octavia and Raven ceased their ministrations and looked at each other, knowingly. They had sensed this coming; it was a no-brainer. Clarke and Finn looked good together because they were attractive, smart, and funny to be with, but that was it. That was all there's to it. Clarke had truly never opened up to him, she had never swooned at his presence, she had never even looked remotely whipped, not enamored couples really looked like.

"I just… I just can't picture myself with him holding my hand and listening to his vows and…" Clarke sighed and pressed her nose with her fingers. "Let alone having kids with him…I just… can't."

"So, what are you going to do?" Octavia inquired.

"I don't know, O. I've been thinking about it all morning and I am clueless."

"Dumping his ass would be the logical next step." Raven butted in.

"Yeah. I guess that's what I should do…" Clarke replied, feeling guilty. "The problem is how and when. I mean, can't I just let life work its magic? I am pretty sure we will drift apart eventually because of our jobs. That would be less messy and less painful than just telling him he's not the one for me."

"I'm afraid to tell you there's no easy way out, Clarke." Octavia stated. There was implied scolding in her tone. "I know you don't want to break his heart because you're a very noble person, but he deserves the truth and the sooner, the better."

"Yup. I agree with O, here." Raven said. "Besides, he'll get over it. He's not unpleasant to look at, so I am sure he'll find someone else in no time. And so will you."

"I don't think I am ready to start thinking about _that,_ Raven." Clarke retorted. "A new relationship is not something I look forward to."

"Well, not even with the magical hoodie you nearly dry-humped yesterday?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

Clarke kicked Raven's lap lightly. "Fuck off, Reyes!" There was a very visible blush on her cheeks.

Octavia and Raven snickered.

"Where's the holy hoodie, by the way?" Octavia asked, looking around the apartment.

"No, there's no way you'll get your paws on it. I want its scent untainted, thank you very much." Clarke knew she sounded childish, but she couldn't care less.

"Oh, c'mon! Just a peek?" Raven begged, pouting.

Clarke shook her head. "No, over my dead body, Reyes."

Raven shrugged. "Okay."

And that was all the warning Clarke got before the mischievous Latina began her merciless attack upon her. Clarke hated to be tickled, she _really_ hated it, so when she felt skilled fingers all over her stomach and sides, she almost caved as her body was contorting and air escaped from her lungs.

"Stoooooop! Damn it, Reyes, Stooooop!" Clarke implored between gasps.

Octavia started giggling, watching the scene before her. She was definitely the mature adult in the gang.

"Wait, Raven, just hold on a sec." She stepped in, taking her friend's hands away. "I think I know how to convince Clarke to show us her new kink."

Clarke looked up at her, confused.

"Show us the hoodie and I'll tell you your savior's name." Octavia promised, winking at her. "I know whose hoodie that is. Would you like to know her name?"

Clarke's curiosity peaked and her heart seemed to have skipped a beat. "Have you met her, O?"

"No, I haven't. But I know she's Lincoln's friend and I also know she's really good looking, I mean… REALLY a babe."

Clarke sat up straight and bit her lower lip, considering her options. "Huh…"

Octavia wiggled her brows. "It's a fair trade, Clarke. We just want to take a look at the hoodie you almost banged, we are all GOT fans, you know."

Clarke pretended to be deliberating carefully, but in fact, she was just trying to not look so desperate, because who was she kidding? She was dying to know the name of the person whose perfume made her feel like walking among clouds. So, after some acceptable amount of time (5 seconds), she stood up and marched into her bedroom, coming out with the famous garment in her hands.

She didn't walk all the way over the couch where here friends were waiting, she stood halfway there and held the hoodie in front of her because she didn't want anyone to touch it. She truly loved that smell.

"Here it is." She said, grinning. "Now, O, spill the beans."

Raven began to rise from her place, but the blonde gave her a stern look. "Hold your horses, Raven! You'd better stay away or I swear I won't let you come here and watch the new season of Orange is the New Black."

At that, the brunette froze and pouted, defeated.

"That's a very cool hoodie." Octavia observed. "When we see her next Saturday, I'll make sure to ask her where she got it."

Clarke's eyes widened. "When we… what?"

"Oh, Lincoln asked her to join us at the night club to celebrate my birthday." Octavia replied giddily. She knew Clarke would love that piece of information. "As far as I know, she's not very gregarious, but hopefully she'll be there."

Clarke unconsciously held the hoodie tightly in her arms, against her chest. She didn't know why her body was feeling a rush of heat flowing through it, making her light and anxious at the same time. She couldn't remember feeling something like that before. Her rational mind attributed that to the likelihood of coming down with a cold due to her experience in the park. Yes. That had to be the most reasonable explanation, because thinking about the possibility to meet that woman was not supposed to make her feel whatever she was undergoing. That didn't add up.

"Huh." That's all Clarke was able to say.

"Aren't you going to ask me what her name is?" Octavia inquired, intrigued by Clarke's reaction.

"I know you'll honor your part of the deal." The blonde replied, trying to collect herself and be cool about it.

Octavia smiled. "Lexa. Her name is Lexa."

"Please, come on in, Lexa!" The young lady's face lit up as soon as she realized who the visitor was. She always paid a visit on Sundays, but today she had dropped by a little earlier than usual.

"Hello, Luna. How have you been?" The green-eyed woman stepped into the large patio and walked towards the door, carrying two huge bags with her.

"Great! A bit busy with the refurbishment and the newcomers, but everything is running smoothly." She smiled while holding the main door for Lexa to enter. "The kids will be thrilled to see you, they are still taking their music class, though. We thought you'd come later."

Lexa left the bags on the floor by the door. "I know, but I wanted to talk to you in private first. I hope you don't mind."

Luna looked at her inquisitively. "Oh no, not at all. Please, let's talk in my office."

Both women walked down an aisle and got into the large office at the end of the corridor.

Lexa had a seat while Luna got around the desk and sat down in the leather swivel chair.

"I still think you should sit here, you know?" Luna commented, feeling suddenly a little bit out of place.

Lexa lifted a hand and shook her head. "No, that's fine. I wouldn't have it any other way. You've earned your seat, Luna."

"Thank you." The curly-haired woman smiled kindly. "So… What would you like to talk about?"

"Expansion." Lexa said. Her eyes showed a proud glint.

"Really? So soon?" Luna sounded pleased and her smile got wider.

Lexa nodded. "We have just acquired the house next door. The owner decided he would be better off out of the country and finally accepted the deal."

"That's great news! He finally caved." Luna snickered.

"Maybe that had to do with how much I pestered him. Who knows?" Lexa shrugged, playing nonchalance. "This means we can carry on with our plans. Urban farming and an animal shelter. I am sure the kids will be happy when they find out they will be able to adopt stray dogs and cats and take care of them here."

Luna's eyes studied Lexa as if she were a unique piece of art. "The world would be a better place if there were more people like you, Lexa."

Lexa took the compliment humbly. "The world would be a better place if people did what they could with what they have. I just happen to have a little bit more, so it is my duty to do more. That's all."

"That doesn't make you less amazing, Lexa."

"Thank you for your kind words, Luna." Lexa did not feel completely comfortable with flattery. A part of her still felt like she was not doing everything she could even though a great deal of her wealth had already been invested in that orphan shelter. It was a two-story building with a front patio and a large backyard; the place was big enough to fit thirty children, but there were only fifteen and most of them had been street kids who had been abandoned or who had lost their parents.

"Anyway," Lexa realized she had spaced out and forced herself to join the conversation once again. "The neighbor's house will be ready to be demolished in two or three weeks and construction will begin immediately afterwards. Titus has already made the arrangements."

Luna nodded enthusiastically. "How long will it take for the new garden to be finished?"

"About twenty days or so. I'll make sure it doesn't take too long. I want the kids to have more space to play and maybe, when winter comes, they will be able to enjoy making snowmen." Lexa's lips twitched up into a small smile. She herself loved snow, it was a secret, though.

"Perfect! When they find out they'll go crazy!"

"Please, don't tell them yet, Luna. I want this to be their Christmas present."

The woman took one of her hands to her face and made a gesture with her fingers in front of her lips, as if she were zipping them. "My lips are sealed, I promise."

"Good." Lexa stood up and walked towards the window, admiring the view of the front patio and the trees and flowers which decorated it. Little by little that dream was actually coming to life. "How are classes going? Are the children happy?"

"They are." Luna replied, mimicking the chestnut-haired woman and joining her in her contemplation. "The music lessons are doing wonders to their mood and most of them are very good at sports, too. In fact, some of them have asked me to tell you that they'd love to take martial arts classes… with you."

Lexa turned her head and looked at her raising an eyebrow. "Have they now?"

"What can I say, Lexa? You're their hero." Luna said as a matter-of-factly and shrugged. "Would you? I mean, I know you're becoming this badass FBI agent as of tomorrow, but… they really want you to be their teacher and spend time with you."

Lexa clasped her hands behind her body and looked up to the sky through the window. The sky was clear and so, so blue that day.

"I'll think about it." She finally said. She did want to spend more time with them, but she wondered whether it was a good idea to get closer to them, to make them get used to her presence. What if things suddenly changed? What if something happened to her due to her perilous profession? What if _she_ grew more attached to their presence?

It was hard. Getting close to people was something she had been avoiding for some time.

Luna sensed her discomfort and placed a hand on Lexa's shoulder. "One class per week, that's all they ask. I'm sure you could all benefit from that companionship."

"Let's see how my first week goes and I'll get back to you on that, Luna." Lexa felt hesitant, but she didn't want to turn those kids down. She would have to sleep on it before making a final decision.

"Okay." Luna retrieved her hand and smiled at her. "Oh, and by the way, some children have also expressed their interest in painting classes."

"I'll put my shoulder to the wheel then and find them a teacher." Lexa allowed herself to smile at that. "Meanwhile, they'll just have to settle for the surprise we have prepared for them today."

Luna beamed at the words and then looked at her watch. "Oh! It's about time!"

"Go get the kids, I'll be waiting for you outside." Lexa requested and then walked to the door, gesturing Luna to leave the room first so she could follow.

"Yeah, we'll be there shortly." The woman said and she made her way down the aisle, going out of sight after a few seconds.

Lexa headed to the main door of the two-story building, picked up the bags she had brought and walked out to the patio. It was large and the part surrounding the entrance was full of trimmed bushes, plants, flowers and some small trees; however, there was a space to the right which consisted of only a squared concrete area which children used to play soccer, basketball or just jumping rope. The walls in that spot had been painted in white that very same morning and Luna had had to forbid the kids to go out in order to keep them away from the work in progress. It was supposed to be a surprise, so children had protested the command stubbornly until Luna promised them to get them some pizza later that evening.

Now, Lexa and Luna were ready to show them that their patience -bribed with pizza- would pay off.

Lexa dropped the bags right in the middle of the concrete square and looked around.

She hoped the kinds would like the unexpected arrangement. She smiled to herself thinking about the upcoming mess, but it would be worth it.

A couple of minutes later, she was able to hear the children's uproar approaching.

Lexa turned and saw the kids streaming out of the building and running towards her. They looked like a horde of minions that had just seen a banana plantation within their grasp.

"Lexaaaa!"

The children's voices calling her made her feel overcome with a strange, yet a warm emotion. She couldn't help but grin at them fondly. In a blink of an eye, she found herself hugged and surrounded by fifteen kids who were giggling and jumping eagerly.

"Hello, _Natblidas,_ " she let out, ruffling their hair while trying to remain standing, "how have you been? Have you behaved?"

Some of the kids nodded enthusiastically, some other just kept holding her tight.

Lexa smiled. Even though this always happened whenever she visited them, she hadn't gotten used to the amount of love and caring they always displayed around her. It was too overwhelming.

"C'mon, kids, let her breathe!" Luna's voice echoed in the patio. Emori was standing right next to her, amusement written all over her face.

Lexa cleared her throat and decided to divert their attention. "As much as I enjoy your effusiveness, Natblida, I would like you to cast a look around and tell me if you find something different."

The kids listened to her and then realized the walls had been changed and were completely white.

One of the girls, the youngest, pointed at the two bags that they had managed to avoid while lovingly attacking Lexa. "What's that?" she asked curiously.

Lexa squatted down and unzipped the bags carefully, revealing dozens of small paint cans and paintbrushes.

Many sets of eyes looked up at her, expectantly.

"Well… Those white walls are waiting for you to bring them back to life." Lexa said. "This is your home, it's time for you to decorate it to your liking."

All the kids looked dumbstruck, and as if on cue, they looked behind them at both Luna and Emori, as if awaiting their approval.

"Lexa and we want you to do magic on those walls, kids. This place needs a makeover and who better than you to do it?" Luna spoke softly, encouraging them to take the initiative.

The lady next to her, the other caretaker, clapped her hands cheerfully. "What are you waiting for? Let's paint!"

The kids cheered and whooped and began taking the paint cans and brushes out of the bags quickly. In a matter of seconds, Lexa was left standing there in awe. Those children were as swift as ninjas. However, they were struggling to open some of the cans, so she decided to help them out. Luna and Emori were right beside her, aiding them as well.

After some minutes, Luna noticed that Lexa had moved away a little.

"Hey! No fair! Come over here, Lexa!" she demanded playfully. "There's no way you're going to leave unscathed from Polis!"

Lexa smirked witnessing the colorful disaster unraveling in front of her. Emori and Luna were already smeared with paint all over.

"Uhm… I am just admiring their work, Luna. I have a better view from here." Lexa simply replied.

Luna narrowed her eyes at her. "Sure, Woods."

Lexa chuckled lightly when one of the kids shook a paintbrush a little too hard and blue paint ended up on Luna's curly hair. The woman yelped when she felt the liquid dripping on her forehead.

Lexa shrugged when the smurf-woman gave her a death glare.

"Don't worry, it's non-toxic paint." The pristine woman told her shamelessly.

"Remember what I told you back in my office, Lexa?" Luna wiped away her forehead with the back of her hand. "I take that back… you're a terrible, terrible person."

It was around 4 PM when Clarke was finally left alone. Octavia had excused herself saying that she had already made plans with her sweetheart, Lincoln and she definitely looked too excited to spend the rest of the day with him since she didn't get to see him as much as she wanted to because of his job as a police officer. On the other hand, Raven had just said she would hang out with Jasper and Monty who had invited everyone to go to the cinema. Clarke had turned down their invitation politely; she didn't feel like being thrown popcorn at or being glared at by the other people who would find seeing a movie an impossible deed thanks to her boisterous gang.

So, there she was. Wandering around the streets with a cup of coffee in one of her hands, enjoying her last free Sunday afternoon. She had just had lunch on her own at a café and was on her way back home. She opted for walking instead of taking the subway. The afternoon was pleasant, clear skies, a gentle wind playing with her hair.

She had never been very keen on exercise; actually, she loathed it. Yet, the past events made her feel restless, hence the walk.

She took a swig of her caramel latte macchiato and felt the hot and sweet liquid ease the lump in her throat. She was still unsure about what to expect from her new job, about her relationship with Finn, about… Well, pretty much about everything in her life. She knew that drink was a temporary placebo and a nice distraction, but she couldn't care less.

After walking aimlessly, the sound of laughter and giggles got her attention.

She realized she was in an unfamiliar neighborhood because, hey, her built-in GPS was miscalibrated since birth, so all she could see was odd-looking buildings all around and black bars which formed a perimeter fence around a two-story building that looked like a school of some sorts. Through the bars next to her, she could see a group of kids covered in paint, shouting happily and bouncing on their feet as paintbrushes and hands glided on the far end walls of a patio.

She walked a little further and placed herself closer to the source of the bubbly noise.

A wide smile spread across her face at the sight.

She was suddenly transported to the past and she could feel the cool paint in her fingertips and she was snickering while her hands moved on a flat surface, leaving streaks of different colors on their path. Her parents were right behind her, she was not able to see them, but she knew they were both smiling at her sloppy artistic skills. It had been her father's idea to give her a whole room for herself as a birthday present, a room she could decorate as she saw fit even though she was not taller than a counter stool.

Those had been good days.

"Hi!"

A little voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she had to look down because there was a tiny person addressing to her.

"Hello" Clarke answered, still smiling.

A girl, who was probably around five or six years old, was staring at her curiously. Her clothes were completely spotted with paint.

"What's your name?" the little girl asked.

"My name is Clarke" she lowered her gaze and her body bent a bit forward. Her forehead almost touching two bars of the fence. "What's yours?"

"My name is Tris. Wanna come and help us?" the girl pointed at the kids in the patio.

Clarke chuckled. "I… I don't know if I'd be allowed. What's this? A school?"

"It's home." Tris replied happily.

Luna turned around just in time to see Tris sneaking off to talk to a passer-by through the fence and she walked towards them.

"Hey, Tris, who are you talking to?" the woman asked, eyeing Clarke from head to toe.

"This is Clarke. She wants to help us to paint the walls. Can she?" Tris looked hopeful and she tugged Luna's sleeve insistently.

The blonde opened her mouth to say something, but she was cut off.

"Is it true? " Luna questioned carefully. The woman didn't look threatening or anything like that, but she knew better than to let people in so easily. Yet, there was something about this woman that made her feel untroubled.

Clarke simpered a little bit nervous. "Uhm, well… I was just walking by and the scene caught my eye. I am a painter myself, I mean, I used to be, so…" She babbled, obviously caught off guard.

"Oh, a painter, huh? Luna inquired. "What are the odds? The owner and I had just talked about finding a painting instructor for these little demons. I wish she could have met you, but I'm afraid she had to leave."

"See? See?" Tris tugged Luna's sleeve harder. "Clarke is here to help!"

The blonde scratched the back of her head anxiously. " I- I don't know if I am suited to be an instructor…"

"Well, Tris trusts you so we can give you a try if you'd like." Luna smiled kindly at the flustered blonde. "If you promise me you're not a serial killer, I will let you in and you can show us what you've got."

Clarke looked at the woman and then at Tris, whose starry eyes looked pleading and so, so big.

She felt awestruck. Not by the situation itself, but by her own emotions. She did feel like coming in, she did feel like joining those children and helping them to create a world of beautiful shapes and wonder. Her fingers actually itched at the thought. It had indeed been a long time, and somehow, standing there, her heart yearned to pant again, even if it was just for a moment.

"C'mon. No strings attached." Luna insisted. "Just have fun with us for a while."

Clarke glanced at the colors on the walls and at the kids' attempts to paint some amorphous animals and trees, and _why not?_ Maybe it was life that was trying to give her a break after what had happened the previous day. Maybe it was life sending her a message and giving her the chance to take up painting again.

"Alright" the blonde finally said.

Tris squeaked, delighted as Luna reached for the door to unlock it.

"Welcome to Polis Shelter, Clarke."


	5. A New Life

Chapter 5

 **A New Life**

Thirty-six hours. Thirty-fucking-six hours!

That's how long Clarke had been working non-stop. Thirty-six hours in a row in ER and she felt like a massive train had run her over.

There were bags under her eyes, her hair seemed to have been ruffled by a wild cat in heat, and her heavy feet that didn't want to cooperate with her will anymore. She literally had to drag herself to the desk where she would sign her check-out.

"So much joy it makes my water." Harper stated with a smirk on her face as soon as she saw the blonde approaching. She was one of the nurses behind the ER front desk. Cranky, sassy and probably a virgin due to her sour mood that made patients cringe most of the times.

Clarke, or the amorphous mass that used to be her, snorted at the comment. "Please tell me I can leave. I won't be able to see another patient with something shoved up his…"

"Ms. Griffin!" An enthusiastic male voice interrupted behind her.

Clarke knew who that voice belonged to, and couldn't help but roll her eyes thinking that the sudden intrusion would prevent her from finally going back home.

Harper smirked at her and she just glared in retaliation. She then turned around, faking the brightest smile she could muster. "Dr. Jaha," she said, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"As a matter of fact yes, Ms. Griffin," he replied, "could I have a word with you?"

"Uhm, I was just leaving, but…"

"It won't be a minute, I promise." Dr. Jaha said. "I could even walk you out if you want to." He gestured towards the exit and Clarke nodded as she started following him.

Once outside, Dr. Jaha looked at Clarke as if she were studying her. He was an Afro-American middle-aged man whose expression was always confident, kind of smug. His eyes were too inquisitive, too clingy, eerie. Some people even believed he was part of a cult, one of those freaky cults that would end up luring in naïve and needy people and then… Well. Charles Manson brainwashing style.

At that very moment, Clarke truly understood the origin of those rumors. And she hoped they were precisely that, rumors.

After some uncomfortable scrutiny and silence, the blonde cleared her throat.

"Oh, yes!" Dr. Jaha blinked and apparently returned to reality. "First of all, let me tell you that Dr. Sinclair reported to be this morning and he told me he was really impressed with your work, Ms. Griffin. He said you're very promising and dedicated."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me, Dr. Jaha." Clarke would have fist pumped if that man hadn't been right in front of her. And if she hadn't been so freaking exhausted.

"Secondly, I would like to tell you that I know that your mother is a very prestigious doctor; however, I wouldn't like you to expect the hospital to give you special treatment because of that." Dr. Jaha explained. He was not going around the bushes. "In fact, it will be the other way around."

Clarke furrowed her brows, not understanding entirely where this was going.

"I have high expectations from you, Ms. Griffin, therefore, some days I'll be right behind you, literally, supervising your work from now on. You're following your mother's footsteps and that is quite a task to accomplish."

 _Great, just fucking great._

"I appreciate your concern, Dr. Jaha. I will do my best to live up to your expectations." Clarke said politely, but somehow her stomach churned. She didn't want to be in her mother's shadow, nor in his. She hated to be compared to her mother. Why couldn't she be just Clarke? She didn't need that burden.

"Excellent! I am glad we are both on the same page, Ms. Griffin. Now, go home and get some rest. We'll see you tomorrow first thing in the morning."

"See you tomorrow, Dr. Jaha."

Clarke waited for him to disappear from her sight to release the air she had been holding in.

 _And that's my boss._ She thought, sighing in defeat.

Nothing would be easy for her, would it?

As she was walking towards the subway station, her mind recalled last Sunday's events and she felt lighter, less bitter.

All those kids laughing with her, happily painting doodles and flaky landscapes. And she was really enjoying herself by just being with them. No blood, no screams, no tears. Just life.

A small smile appeared on her face. Perhaps becoming a painting teacher wouldn't me such a crazy idea after all.

She had left the shelter after Luna had promised to put in a good word for her so the owner could hire her and she was looking forward to knowing what the answer would be. After all the pain she had witnessed in the past thirty-six hours, Clarke came to understand she would need balance in her life and nice memories to hold onto if she wanted to remain sane, or at least mentally stable.

With that hope dwelling in her chest, she got on the subway and let it take her home.

This was the umpteenth report she was working on that day. Her fingers would soon become numb or simply fall off, which wouldn't be very desirable considering she was the queen of the lesbians. Then again, when had been the last time she used those magnificent tools of her?

Lexa shook her head. She shouldn't be having this kind of thoughts. They were stupid, childish and completely unnecessary. But she was tired. More than tired. That could explain her train of thought.

When she decided to become an FBI agent, she didn't expect it to be this… dull.

Yes, the day before she had been properly introduced to the team and she had actually taken part in the arrest of a man who had been responsible for a hostage situation in a bank. It had been challenging until he finally surrendered, but after that, the red-tape had been overwhelming. She was swamped with paperwork, and just for that one case. She couldn't imagine what would happen if she had two, or three cases per day.

"Here. It looks like you need it."

Lexa looked over her computer and saw a cup of coffee waiting to be accepted.

"Thank you." She said, lifting her left hand to grab it and then place carefully next to the computer screen.

The FBI agent smiled at her. He was not that bad, attractive even. She could recognize a handsome man despite her penchant for women. He was also trying to be thoughtful and kind to her, but she sensed there was something else there. He was trying too hard, that was maybe the problem. An alarm in her head had gone off the moment he held her hand too long in their first handshake.

"Why don't you take a break and join me in my slow suicide by smoke inhalation?" He asked, hopeful. And there it was, that peculiar smirk that probably swooned most ladies but her.

Lexa took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose lightly. She did need a break. Her eyes were already sore.

She was not too keen on the idea of tagging along with him; however, if he made a move on her, she could seize the opportunity and just tell him she was unattainable.

"Okay." She answered. She took her cup of coffee, stood up and walked around her workstation towards him.

When they passed by Anya's workstation, the woman looked up and saw Lexa walking behind their co-worker. She immediately locked gazes with the brunette and smirked. Anya then held her hands in front of her face and her index fingers drew a heart in the air.

Lexa frowned and considered flipping her off, but she didn't want to look ill-mannered at work, so she decided to save that for later and just brushed it off, ignoring her pestering friend.

Lexa and the other agent took the elevator to the top floor and once the doors opened, they made a beeline for the only door there and pushed it. The fresh air -if the air in New York could be called that- hit Lexa's face and she immediately started feeling better, less caged. She inhaled deeply before her partner took out his lighter and began polluting her space.

"So, how do you like it so far?" He asked, puffing out the cigarette smoke. His tone was mocking, Lexa knew it.

She stepped away from him, so the smoke would not reach her nostrils.

"I am thrilled." She replied full of sarcasm.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know. It's not what you get to see on Criminal Minds, right?"

"It is… different." Lexa stated, taking in the sight before her. They were surrounded by buildings, buildings and more buildings. She missed the view from her penthouse.

"Well, it might change at any given moment and then we will get the adrenaline rush we crave."

Lexa nodded and just stood there, listening to the wind blowing and the faraway sounds of the cars.

Her coworker kept smoking, but his eyes were fixed on Lexa. She was beautiful, her jawline, her eyes, her plump lips, her demeanor. Everything about her was sheer perfection and he knew he just had to take the shot.

"Listen, Lexa," He said, emboldened. He knew he was not that bad himself. Who was he kidding? He knew he had the looks and the game, so he would just go for it.

Lexa did her best to conceal her eye roll. _Here we go._

"If adrenaline is what you are looking for, I know just the place." He smiled at her and she could see his dimples greeting her enthusiastically. "I promise you won't regret it. I could take you there this Friday after work. What do you say?"

There it was. She wished she had been wrong about his intentions. Now she had to find a way to turn him down tactfully since she didn't want their work to be affected by a bruised ego.

"Listen, Bellamy," Lexa began, eyes never leaving his, "I will not say I am flattered, because I'm not." _Fuck tact._ "I am not really into your type." She confessed. "So please, spare us the awkwardness."

Bellamy's face conveyed pure shock.

Had he been rejected? How was it even possible?

"You're not into attractive badass men?!" He asked in disbelief. Maybe if he took off his shirt and showed her what she would be missing.

Lexa would have snorted, but she was too decent for that.

"I am not interested in your kind, Bellamy." She replied, shrugging.

"My kind?" he asked almost offended. "You mean the hot kind?"

Lexa swallowed a wow, because _wow_ , and she pursed her lips in an attempt to turn her mouth filter on.

"Males." She retorted plainly.

Bellamy's face was quizzical. There were furrows in his forehead as he was struggling to figure those words out.

Lexa looked at him carefully, wondering how long it would take him to read between the lines. Lines which were, of course, so obvious.

"Huh…"He said.

 _It takes as long as it takes,_ Lexa thought. He was pretty thick-skulled to be an FBI agent. Who the hell hired these people? At least he was not a criminal profiler. That would have been hilarious.

All of a sudden, realization dawned on Bellamy's face and his mouth hung slightly open, allowing the cigarette to drop to the floor.

"Oh! You are a…" He paused midsentence, not knowing what word to use. His right hand began rubbing his nape nervously.

"A lesbian? Yes." Lexa confirmed. "You can say that word, Bellamy, it will not burn your tongue."

"But… You don't look like a lesbian!" He practically whined.

Lexa quirked one of her eyebrows. "Oh, really? And what does a lesbian actually look like, Bellamy? Do enlighten me, please." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, waiting for an answer.

Bellamy's cheeks were tinged with redness and the idea of jumping off the roof was quite tempting.

"Uhm… Well… They… I mean! You… Uhm…"

"Did you expect me to be wearing a flannel shirt?" Lexa asked playfully.

"Well... Maybe?"

"Or did you expect me to be carrying around my tool belt to fix roof tiles?"

Bellamy's eyes suddenly found his shoes, very, very interesting. "Uhm…"

"I am sorry, next time I will be more conspicuous and I will make it a point to wear a vagina on my face, just to make sure everybody catches the drift." Lexa was really getting a kick out of this. Seeing the very flustered alpha male reduced to a toddler was just too much fun.

Bellamy was sure his face was scarlet by now. She was not only gorgeous, but incredibly snarky. He felt like falling on his knees and asking for mercy right there.

"I am sorry, ok?!" He sputtered, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "That was a very stupid thing to say! I'm not usually this dense, you just… you just caught me off guard! This is the first time a beautiful woman disregards my virility."

"That is hard to believe…" Lexa said because, wow. Who in their righteous mind would fall for Bellamy's antics? Who?

Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her. He seemed to have understood the remark. "Ok, ok. I deserve that. I accept defeat and can we just start all over again? I promise I am not a…"

"Total jerk?" Lexa butted in, amused.

"Not always anyway." He stated, finally smiling.

Lexa plastered a barely there smile on her face. He was being honest; she would give him some credit for that.

Bellamy held his hand in front of him. "Hi, I'm Bellamy and I would like you to give me the chance to be your friend."

Lexa looked at him and then down at his hand. After deciding he sounded sincere and harmless, she accepted his handshake.

"Hello, I am Lexa and I hope we can work as a team."

Bellamy retrieved his hand and didn't hide the smirk on his face. "So… I was thinking we could still do Friday night and just try to pick up some ladies together?"

Lexa rolled her eyes and turned around, heading for the elevator.

"Oh, c'mon, Lexa!" Bellamy called after her. "We could have it all! Our own harem!"

Lexa pushed the elevator button and shook her head.

Who the hell hired these people?

Lincoln's laughter could be heard within a five mile radius, Lexa was sure of that.

"I can't believe you said that to him!" He held his stomach, which was starting to hurt because he had been laughing for over ten minutes.

"Honestly, I wanted to chop off his head." Lexa confessed, shaking her head as she remembered the conversation with Bellamy. "Who says that in the 21st century? I swear Lincoln, I cannot even fathom why women would find him irresistible."

"That was such a blow to his manhood." Lincoln snickered.

"Please, do not use 'blow' and 'manhood' in the same sentence. That's gross."

Lincoln burst out laughing again and had to wipe a stray tear from his eye. "Oh my God, Lexa, you're something else!"

"I know." She said, leaning against the patrol Lincoln had parked in front of the FBI offices.

After Lincoln managed to catch his breath, he asked: "So, are you going to take up on Bellamy's offer and sweep ladies off their feet?"

Lexa glared at him. "Of course not, Lincoln. I have better things to do than to become a womanizer."

"You don't have to become a 'Bellamizer', Lexa. You could meet someone special." Lincoln said. He knew he was pushing her, he knew that was a sensitive topic, but he was convinced that Lexa deserved better than being a crabby hermit.

Lexa clenched her jaw. She had already met someone special and that didn't end well.

"I do not need to meet anyone, Lincoln. I am fine and satisfied with the life I have built." She said. And yes, it was true. She was fine. Her heart was numb, but she was fine. She was used to that void now.

Her friend shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at her. "Ok."

Lexa took a deep breath and turned her face to him, feeling like she needed to change the subject. "Have you forgotten there's something you're supposed to give back to me?" She asked.

"No, I haven't forgotten. However…"

"However?"

"I think it would be a great idea if my friend gave you your hoodie personally."

"And why is that?" Lexa's curiosity was piqued.

Lincoln knew it was not his place, but he just had this strange hunch and he had decided to go with it. "Because I would like you to meet her." He said, shrugging.

"Why?" Lexa raised one of her brows.

"Because she is different and I think you two would get along."

Lexa remained silent for a while, mulling that over. After a minute, she finally spoke: "What's her name?"

"Clarke. She's Octavia's best friend and she is one of a kind." Lincoln smiled fondly. "She's doing an internship at Arkadia Hospital. She's very smart, noble and she has the kindest heart you'll ever find. Besides, she is rather cute and…"

"And?"

"She is a GOT fan, just like you." Lincoln winked at her.

"Now, _that_ sounds interesting…" Lexa said, almost smiling. Almost.

"She will be at the bar on Saturday and then you can have your hoodie back." Lincoln was daring, he knew he was setting Lexa up, but he didn't care, for once. "So, you'd better be there."

Lexa narrowed her eyes at that. "That's the catch, isn't it? You haven't given me the hoodie because you want me to meet that friend of yours."

Her friend just shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe my memory just sucks."

"And she will be there." An eager female voice made them turn their faces. " _We_ will be there." Anya, who had just finished her paperwork, had joined them and placed herself next to Lexa, who was looking at her as if she had grown three heads.

"Excuse me?" Lexa asked, blinking.

"Booze, cute ladies, music, booze… We _will be_ there. " Anya insisted. "Getting your precious hoodie back will be just a bonus. C'mon Lexa, you need to loosen up! Live a little; take that stick out of your…"

Lexa held up one of her hands to shush her. "Message received, thanks, Anya."

Her friend smirked. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that Lexa did not overlook.

"I'll make sure Lexa comes along, Lincoln. She is just playing hard to catch."

The tall man gave them a warm smile and eyed both of them. "Great!" He walked backwards and opened the door of his police car. "I have to go now, but I'll see you on Saturday."

"Even if I need to drag Lexa on a leash." Anya stated.

Lexa gave her a death glare. "Anya…"

Lincoln snickered, got into the car, started the engine and drove off.

"A little fun never hurt anyone, Lexa." Anya insisted. "But for now, let's go. You'll have to give me a ride home. I just feel too tired to take the subway today."

Lexa kept on looking away from, feeling a very unusual tingling sensation in her chest.

"Clarke." She whispered. She had never thought that name would be suitable for a woman, but somehow it was. That name _made_ sense in a way she could not understand yet.

"Lexa! Are you waiting for Christmas or what?" Anya shouted standing halfway to the parking lot.

The brunette practically jolted and was snapped out of her thoughts instantly. She ran her fingers through her hair and let a huff of frustration.

This was stupid. Showing up at the bar would be stupid, pointless; yet, without meaning to, she was already looking forward to it.

"Hey, slowpoke! Hurry up! 'American Horror Story' is on tonight and I don't want to miss it because of your lazy ass!" Anya's voice echoed in the parking lot.

Lexa groaned and sped up her pace.

Seriously, who hired these people?


	6. The Wild Child

Chapter 6

 **The Wild Child**

It was almost 11 am and they had just had a meeting with their boss, the Executive Assistant Director, Indra Trikru. She was a woman of a few words and lots of death glares and grunts. Her stern expression rarely changed and most of the agents swore that she was in fact a ruthless shape-shifting Reptilian in human form.

Lexa liked her already.

Indra had expressed her concern (her stoic concern) about the recent criminal wave that was quickly spreading across the streets in New York. Drug dealing, shootings, executions, and kidnappings. The city looked like a freaking Breaking Bad spinoff. And everything seemed to be revolving around a new and very potent drug called 'Ice'.

The FBI was working along with the local police to try to figure out what criminal organization was behind this havoc; nevertheless, the information was still scarce, and reliable informants were few and far between since no one dared to rat this new mafia out.

Lexa had just sat down at her workstation, determined to find some useful information on the matter when suddenly her phone rang. She had a look at the screen and didn't hesitate to answer.

"Is something the matter, Luna?" Lexa asked a bit unsettled by the phone call. She was planning on stopping by the shelter that night after work and Luna usually avoided calling her, she just texted her whenever the kids needed something, knowing Lexa would get back to her as soon as she could.

"Good morning, Lexa," Luna's voice sounded shy, "I hope I am not interrupting anything."

"You aren't. What can I do for you?" Lexa brought her computer back to life and began her search on the recent events in the city.

"Well, I'll make it quick. I had forgotten to get in touch with you to tell you that I think I've found the painting tutor the kids were asking for."

Lexa's lips managed a small smile. "That's great news, Luna."

"Yes, in fact, we met her last Sunday, right after you left. The little monsters already love her! And you should see what she painted on the walls. I think you will be impressed."

"Wait." Lexa ceased what she was doing and knitted her brows. "She was there? With all of you?"

"Uhm, yeah, it's a funny story…"

"What's her name?"

"Her name is…"

"Lexa! Move! We need to go!" Anya's loud voice right behind her monitor made her jolt and miss that snippet of the conversation. "There's a shooting and the local police suspect our mystery bad guys could be involved."

Lexa stood up immediately, grabbed her jacket which was hanging on the backrest of the chair and started walking towards the elevator doors.

"Listen, Luna, I have to go," she said behind Anya, following suit, "if you think this woman is the right person for the job and that she will benefit the kids, I give you the go-ahead to do whatever you see fit, ok?"

"Sure! Thanks, I'll call her right away then." Luna said enthusiastically. "I hope we can see you again soon and take care of yourself, Lexa."

"I will. Goodbye, Luna."

Lexa hung up and shoved her cell phone into one of her pants pockets.

"So, Luna, huh?" Anya asked, looking at Lexa out of the corner of her eye. They were both waiting for the elevator to arrive.

Lexa shook her head. "Seriously, Anya?"

"She has a big crush on you, Lexa."

Lexa looked bemused. "No, she doesn't, Anya."

"Who has a big crush on Lexa?" Bellamy joined her, putting on his jacket and combing his hair with is fingers as if he were a shampoo model.

"You do." Anya replied dryly.

"Can't argue with that." He said, shrugging.

"Alas, you do not have the right equipment." Anya quipped, being aware of the conversation Lexa and Bellamy had had the previous day.

Lexa rolled her eyes. Apparently, the kids at her shelter were more mature than the ones in her workplace.

"Excuse me," Bellamy retorted wounding offended, "no one had ever complained about my equipment before. Ever!"

"I guess you have only dated mutes, right?" Anya snickered at her own jibe.

Lexa suppressed a smirk.

"I so do not like you, Anya" Bellamy muttered.

The doors to the elevator opened and Lexa sighed. She would have to put up with them on the way to the ground floor as well.

Anya did not step in, though. "Ladies first." She said and motioned to the elevator with her hand. "Bellamy, please."

He glared at her. "You're just jealous of my perfect silky hair."

"Of course, pillow princess."

Lexa didn't wait for their squabble to subside and decided to get in first. "I swear I will get the doors closed if you do not behave like responsible adults."

Both adult-wannabes huffed and rolled her eyes at her, trying to get in at the same time, which caused them to bump their shoulders and they both grunted at the contact.

 _This is going to be a long day_. Lexa thought, pushing the button to the ground floor.

* * *

As soon as they pulled over, the three agents got out of the car and Lexa and Bellamy approached the police officers who were outside the invisible perimeter signaled by the police cars.

"What's the situation?" Bellamy asked, scanning the area with greedy eyes. "That over there is Agent Forest, this is Agent Woods and I am Super-Agent Blake."

The officer nodded and shook his offered hand. "Three armed 'Ice' drug dealers and a kid are trapped in that house in the corner." He explained, pointing at the run-down structure. "They started shooting when our undercover officer showed his badge to one of our targets."

Lexa quirked her eyebrow. So, these criminals were selling the new drug 'Ice', which they had been trying to track down. However, revealing an officer's identity so soon was not standard procedure.

"Was it the officer's first day on the job?" Bellamy inquired, annoyed by the idea of such a rookie mistake.

The officer pursed his lips. "No." He answered simply.

"Here, put these on." Anya walked up to them and gave Bellamy and Lexa a bulletproof vest. (Insert thumbs up here).

So they did. (Because, bullets).

"They own heavy armory, let me tell you." The officer in charge stated. "See our patrol cars? They look like fucking Swiss Cheese."

"Officer…" Bellamy took a peek at his badge. "Kane, right?"

"Yes." The man said proudly, practically sticking out his chest.

"We'll take over from here, but we need you to draw their attention to the front of the house. I assume there are officers posted at the back, right?" Bellamy didn't mean to sound sarcastically bossy; or maybe he did. That was part of his 'charm'.

Kane quirked a brow. "You want us as bait." It was more a statement than a question.

Before Bellamy could reply in his very forthcoming style, Lexa butted in. "What Agent Blake means is that we would be grateful if you could help us by pretending we're not here, so we can catch them off guard."

Officer Kane appeared to have liked that request better and looked at the brunette intently. He wished for a brief moment that all FBI agents were as civilized as her.

Some shots were fired and the FBI agents and police officers around ducked, shielding themselves behind the police cars.

"Ironically, that's what we seem to be doing…" Officer Kane clenched his jaw, feeling frustrated.

"You did attempt to negotiate, right?" Bellamy asked scathingly.

Officer Kane gritted his teeth and glared at him. He did his best to steel himself and not to punch the male agent right in the face. "We did, but the goons do not appreciate subtlety. Thus, you're here."

"Let's just force our way in through the back while they are shooting this way." Anya suggested.

"We do not know where the kid is." Lexa countered, "We need to ensure his safety."

"If the kid were not there, we would've knocked down the place thirty minutes ago." Officer Kane explained. The frustration is his voice was evident.

Lexa's eyes roamed over the surroundings, in search of another possible solution. It didn't take her long to come up with one, but it would entail some physical effort and a very flexible and agile body.

"Anya, Bellamy, there's a small window in the attic." Lexa said. "The roof of the house next door might provide us with the right opportunity."

Both agents glanced at the spot in question and then looked back at their coworker.

"It's quite the jump, Lexa." Anya commented.

"I can do it." Bellamy nodded confidently.

"No, I will." Lexa retorted. "I am slimmer and my presence on that surface will go unnoticed."

"She's just called you fat." Anya smirked at Bellamy.

"Both of you do wonders to my self-esteem." He said bitterly.

Officer Kane cleared his throat and pulled them out of their bickering. "As much as I am enjoying your lovely rapport, we need to get moving. Their unlimited ammo is getting on my nerves and I am sure our boss will not agree with our new 'pimped' police cars."

"Ok. Let's do this." Bellamy said, getting ready for the show.

* * *

After a few minutes, Lexa's plan was set in motion.

The local police had tried again to get the criminals' attention by using a megaphone, tempting them to put down their weapons. Unfortunately, the drug dealers responded by flipping them off and sending more bullets through the air.

Meanwhile, Anya and Bellamy had sneaked around the house and were waiting for Lexa's signal to proceed.

The brunette agent had gotten into the house next door despite the owner's reluctance and she had finally managed to get to the roof.

There was a three-meter gap between where she was standing and the final target and Lexa knew she couldn't afford to be clumsy. She just hoped her daily workout would allow her to land on the roof tiles as graciously and silently as she could.

She took a deep breath, took two long strides and jumped.

Her feet were able to find the right angle and space to fall onto the surface without any inconveniences and her body bent forward in sync, allowing her to stay alive for at least one more day. "I've made it," she whispered at the microphone under one of her sleeves, knowing that Anya and Bellamy would hear her thanks to the earpiece they were wearing.

She then walked carefully to the small window and checked if it was open. When she realized it wasn't, she looked down at Officer Kane and motioned to the window with her head. As soon as he saw her, he put the megaphone in front of his face and tried to initiate a conversation with the drug dealers, just to make some noise to distract them, not really interested in achieving a friendly chat.

Lexa seized the opportunity and broke the window. After opening it, she got in, avoiding the shattered glass on the floor.

It wasn't very challenging for her to find her way down. The police officers were keeping their word and the goons were completely focused on the force surrounding the house. Consequently, the second floor was cleared, or that's what she'd thought when a pair of wide blue eyes were looking at her completely shocked.

The kid was just standing there, at the end of the stairs. Lexa could see he was afraid; however, he didn't move and he was not making a sound. His eyes showed a glint of sadness, as if he knew what was going to happen and he was just accepting it without a fight.

Lexa couldn't remember another set of eyes that expressed so much knowledge and surrender at the same time. Those eyes were not supposed to belong to a kid. She could feel they had already seen too much, they had already cried too much and they were ready to witness the consequences of such a life.

She was about to say something when he beat her to it.

"Please, don't kill him." His voice was imploring and low. "My brother's done terrible things, but please, he's all I have left."

There was so much pain in his words and Lexa felt her heart shrink a size down. She looked around and found an open door, so she gestured him to get into that room with her.

Once in there, she closed the door slowly and their eyes met.

"What is your name?" Lexa asked, bending down a little to be at his level.

"Aden." He said simply, holding her gaze.

"Listen, Aden. I am not here to take away lives. It is not my intention to kill anyone, but it is my last resort." Lexa understood that lies were unnecessary at that moment. Aden did not need any futile promises and deep inside she knew that he got it, that he had come to grasp that reality was not the happily ever after fairytale that Disney movies had tried to portray. She could see in his rigid facial features, ones that a kid that age should not have, that he had grown up surrounded by madness and chaos.

The boy nodded in understanding, his eyes were shiny and humid, nonetheless.

This was not the world he deserved, Lexa realized. This was not the world a small kid should live in. This broken world would only raise broken children.

She placed a hand on one of his shoulders to give him some kind of comfort.

"Stay here, get under the bed if you must. No matter what you hear, Aden. Do not leave this room."

He acknowledged her order by moving his head lightly in an affirmative answer.

Lexa stood up straight and spared a glance at him before she got out of the room. The men's voices downstairs were loud enough for her to hear all their swearing and their mockery. She drew her gun well aware of Aden's plea. Yet, based on what she was overhearing, she had the feeling she might end up using it.

She started her stealthy descent downstairs, holding her gun close to her chest. A few shots were fired and two men laughed, apparently pleased with the new holes those bullets had created.

"In position. Ten seconds." She mumbled close to the hidden microphone.

Halfway down, she froze. A young man holding a gun was standing there, right in front of her at the bottom of the stairs. He was about to go up when they suddenly stumbled upon each other.

"They're here!" He shouted, startled, pointing his gun at Lexa immediately.

Before his accomplices could react, the door which led to the backyard was kicked down and Bellamy and Anya made their appearance through it, pointing their guns at them.

"Put your guns down!" Bellamy demanded, "this ends, now!"

Lexa and the man before her were aiming at each other; none showed willingness to cave.

The other two criminals tried to turn to the FBI agents swiftly, just to get shot in their shoulders and hands as soon as they had dared to move.

Bellamy and Anya kept threatening them with their weapons while they moved around, kicking away their submachine guns.

"Put. Down. Your gun." Lexa hissed, noticing the man wouldn't relent. "Your fight is over."

The young red-haired man pursed his lips. He was done for, it was obvious, but that thought was too much to bear.

"John…Please." Aden begged, approaching him behind Lexa. His eyes were sparkling with unshed tears.

The man looked at him open-mouthed, as stiff as a board. His brother's voice made his heart ache.

Lexa couldn't turn around to stop Aden, but she could definitely try to hinder his steps, to prevent him from advancing further.

"Listen to your brother, John," she said firmly, "he needs you. He needs you to stop this unharmed. He deserves better."

The drug dealer fixed his gaze on his little brother, who remained still two steps behind the agent on the stairs. His lips visibly trembled, as if he wanted to say something to him that he deemed too important, too precious. Yet, he slumped his shoulders and a painful smile was plastered on his face.

"You're right," the man said, exhausted, "he deserves better…"

Lexa reacted briskly and turned around, shielding Aden with her body, just in time to hear the loud noise that the man's gun had made

It was unexpected. It was definite.

There was an eerie silence after that, broken by a muffled sob let out by the kid who was running upstairs as if his life depended on it.

"Aden!" Lexa shouted, concern written all over her face. She looked behind and saw the dead body lying there, in a pool of red that sprang from the furious bullet hole under his chin. They should have seen it coming; she should have seen it coming.

In no time, police officers were able to open the front door and they were faced with the bloody scenario. Bellamy and Anya handcuffed the remaining criminals and made sure everything was under control.

Lexa decided then to go the second floor and look for Aden. She opened the three doors, checked every room but he was nowhere to be found. She then climbed up to the attic and sensed he had used her access route to flee away.

Holding herself responsible, she decided to go after him, wondering how in the world he had managed to get to the other roof safely.

When Lexa got into the house next door again, the owner motioned to the back door and she hurried, hoping to catch up with the kid on the loose.

A few minutes passed when Lexa came across an alley and a hunch made her stop in her tracks to check it out.

There were two huge trash containers by a wall and she didn't know exactly how, but she knew Aden would be hiding in one of them.

She was in a pickle. If she got to him, the police would put him through hell and then, many things could happen to him, like ending up in the foster care system and the likelihood for him to be adopted given his record would be too slim. On the other hand, if she didn't find him, she could get in trouble, her work would be called into question and she would have to endure being seen as a sloppy rookie.

She positioned herself in front of the containers and thought it over.

Aden's soulful and wise eyes were embedded in her mind.

Determined, she took out a pen of her dress shirt pocket and looked around. It was not hard for her to find a piece of paper to write on since, after all, people always misplaced their trash around containers. She took what looked like a flyer and wrote down an address and her name. She put her pen back into her pocket and spoke up:

"Aden, I know you are here. I know you are scared and I get it," she hoped she sounded sincere and reliable, "I am going to open the lid and leave a piece of paper with the information of a place you can go to if you feel like it. You will be safe there, I promise."

There was no answer, so she opened the container and dropped the flyer into it, closing the lid right after doing so.

"You don't have to be alone, Aden." Lexa took a step back, "And I am sorry for your loss. I am."

Some seconds later, Lincoln ran into her while she was about to get out of the alley.

"Hey, Lexa, no luck finding the boy?" he asked with sweat on his forehead. He had been seeking him as well.

"No. He vanished from the face of the earth." She replied plainly and continued walking towards the crime scene.

Lincoln glanced at the containers in the alley suspiciously before he followed Lexa, reaching her easily.

"So, the Commander is out of shape, huh?" He questioned, teasing her.

"I guess so."

"Right."

They did not share any other word on the way back to the house and Lexa allowed herself to feel relieved in that silent and loyal complicity.

* * *

Clarke's shift had finished right on time. She was glad she had not been required to stay longer. Well, she had _been_ glad, that was just before she received a phone call from Finn asking her to meet.

She could have said no, but his tone had been so urging, so whiny: _'I barely see you anymore, babe';_ in the end, she gave in and told him they could get together, as long as they met in her apartment to just hang out and have a quiet evening. Emphasis on _quiet_.

She had hoped to have gotten her message across, but apparently, she had not been as clear as she'd thought.

They were cuddling on the couch, watching a movie on Netflix, when one of Finn's hands began wandering over her stomach, trying to roll up the hem of her t-shirt.

Clarke flinched away at the contact. "Finn…" she warned, swatting his hand away.

"C'mon, Princess! It's been too long!" He pouted, his hands reached for her, but the blonde kept her distance, glaring at him.

"I told you I wanted a quiet evening, Finn. I am too tired for anything else."

Finn huffed in frustration and averted his eyes from her, looking at some invisible point on the wall in front of them. "I guess this is how it's going to be from now on, huh?"

Clarke scowled and moved herself further away from him, her back resting on the armrest on the other side of the couch. "What do you mean by that?"

He shook his head slowly "You know what? Never mind." He said, avoiding an argument. "Let's keep watching the movie, ok?"

Clarke was about to go fly into a rage when her cell phone rang and whatever her mouth was going to say was suddenly swallowed back.

With one last baleful glare at her boyfriend and a sigh, she leaned to take her cell phone off the table.

"Yes?" she answered, her tone a bit off.

"Hi, Clarke! This is Luna," the woman said cheerfully, "we met last Sunday at the shelter."

"Of course I remember you and the kids" The blonde's words were imbued with a small smile; her anger diminished by that memory.

"Well, I am calling you to let you know that the job is yours if you're up for it."

"Wow…That's… That's great!" Clarke said, blinking.

"Miss Woods, the owner, said I could hire you if I thought you're the right person, and I am convinced that you would be good for the kids; besides, your mural is just amazing!"

"Well, thank you, I mean… I don't know if my messy schedule will do, but… Yeah, I'd like that." Clarke's heart felt warm and quavering.

"I understand." Luna said. A beat passed and she spoke again, "Ok, why don't you call me when you have some free time and we can schedule the class right then? Providing it is not after 6 pm because the kids have dinner then and most of them go straight to bed afterwards."

Clarke's face lit up at that. "Are you sure? Would that be ok?"

"Yeah, I mean, kids would be happy to have you here once or twice a week if that's possible and we could work with your non-fixed schedule. It's not like we're always busy, you know?" Luna chuckled.

Clarke played with her hair a little, her smile was wider this time. "Sounds perfect, Luna. Thank you so much for this opportunity."

"You earned it, Clarke. So, call me up when you have time so we can meet to go over the details and your payment, alright?"

"I will. And thank you again!"

"We look forward to having you here, bye for now, Clarke."

"Bye, Luna!"

As soon as the call was over, the blonde was snapped out of her happy place by the perplexed and annoyed look on Finn's face.

"What was that about?" he asked, tilting his head a bit, waiting for an explanation.

"I've gotten another job." She replied lightheartedly. "I will be giving painting classes to some kids."

"Huh." Finn's scowl was sharp and he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from saying something that would make their current situation worse.

Clarke felt hurt by his reaction. She would be taking up painting again, she would be basking in her long forgotten passion again; Finn knew how important that was for her and he didn't look pleased at all; on the contrary, he looked fuming and unsympathetic.

"You're not going to congratulate me on this?" Clarke asked, her mood totally ruined now. "This is my chance to do the two things I love most, Finn. Why can't you at least pretend to be happy for me?"

"Do you want me to pretend?" Finn asked, throwing his arms in the air. "Sure! I can pretend! I am ecstatic, Clarke! I am ecstatic to learn that you won't have time for our relationship anymore! Congratulations, really, that's the best news I've ever heard!"

Clarke was bristling at this point. She just wanted to slap Finn into the next week and then neuter him to ensure he wouldn't bring any boneheads into this world. Her jaw was so tense she feared she might disjoint it at any given moment.

It took her all the self-control she had to hold herself back and to keep her tears at bay. She opened her mouth to utter words that were supposed to be stinging, yet such words turned into a grievous question.

"Would you have said that if I had let you fuck me some minutes ago, Finn?" Her fists clenched, her voice about to break. "Would you be actually happy for me if I gave you my body every time you asked me to?"

Finn was rendered speechless for some seconds, his lips moved like a fish out of the water.

"How can you ask me that?!" He finally said, outraged, "Of course not! I am just… I am just worried about not seeing you anymore!"

"But you are!" Clarke roared, "You are seeing me right now, Finn. But I guess holding my hand, holding me close, watching a movie with me and knowing that I am finally making my dreams come true is not enough for you, is it?"

Her boyfriend stared at her for what seemed like ages, his blank expression did not help at all.

"You know what?" he stood up briskly, raking his fingers through his hair, "I think I should go now. There's no point in arguing when you are in this state. You're obviously spent and your mind is seeing things that are not there in the first place."

Clarke looked up, meeting his gaze. Yes. She suddenly felt so, so tired. So defeated.

"Yeah, you should." She muttered, swallowing a lump in her throat.

Finn had secretly expected her to stop him, but when she didn't, he began walking towards the door thinking that maybe she was waiting until he put his hand on the knob to ask him to come back to her. So he did exactly that, his fingers grazed the handle slowly, hesitant.

No begging, though. No sweet voice calling his name.

His pride was wounded.

He opened the door and without looking back, he slammed it, leaving a crestfallen Clarke behind.

* * *

The air was cold and the city too bright despite being so late at night. The streets were alive, brimful of people and cars that moved too fast and too mindlessly for her taste.

Lexa had just left the gym. After her excruciating long day she had put off her visit to the shelter and had decided to work out until her body asked for a truce.

Looking around, she couldn't help but think that there was a homeless kid out there who had just become an orphan because she hadn't known better, because no one had been clever enough to foresee that brutal outcome.

Somewhere in that wild concrete jungle, a kid whose eyes carried the weight of the world, was probably crumbling and feeling lonely. And Lexa knew that feeling, she knew what it was like to curse the universe because everyone you had, everything you held dear had been taken away from you.

Aden was probably crying his lungs out, feeling betrayed, used, toyed with by a life that showed no mercy.

And it was true. No matter how beautiful and breathtaking some days could be, there would always be pain, there would always be loss and there was nothing people could do about it.

She just wished she could have given him a moment of peace, a tiny glimpse of hope in the midst of so much darkness.

"We did what we could, you know that, right?" Anya appeared out of the blue, her voice right behind her.

"Did we?" Lexa asked, her feet still moving.

She felt a hand grabbing her elbow and she halted her steps to face her stubborn friend.

"How were we supposed to foretell that a man with a massive criminal record was going to have a crisis of conscience at the last second and commit suicide in front of his beloved brother?" Anya knew Lexa like the back of her hand and she was sure that her friend was chiding herself for what had happened that morning. She was also aware of Aden's situation and that it could trigger some very painful memories in Lexa. That's why she was there, checking up on her.

Lexa held her gaze and a part of her knew that the question made sense, but the other part was not able to shake off the unsettling feeling that had found its home in her chest.

"I should have killed him myself." Lexa stated. What she truly meant was that she would have accepted to become an executioner willingly to spare Aden the pain of seeing his brother taking his own life. She would have gladly become a murderer so a kid would not be thinking that he was not good enough for her brother to have chosen a better path.

Anya got her. She really did.

Lexa was too fucking pure for this fucked up world.

"But you let him go." Anya said. It was not an accusation; she was just stating the facts. "You let Aden go. You gave him the chance to build his own destiny, away from this mess."

Lexa did not answer. She didn't need to explain what Anya fully understood.

"Let's hope the kid makes the right decision." Her friend said sincerely.

Lexa nodded. She hoped she could see Aden again under different circumstances.

Anya wanted to ask Lexa if she would be ok, but she had already become familiar with her well-rehearsed replies, so she thought it would be better to let her be.

"Well, you're still breathing. Mission accomplished." Anya said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lex."

"See you tomorrow, Anya."

Both friends began walking in opposite directions, but before they could be further apart, Anya turned around and broke their silence.

"You can't save everyone, Lexa."

The brunette made a pause and her face turned a little, watching her friend out of the corner of her eye.

"No, but I can try. I can always try."


	7. Twists of Fate

Chapter 7

 **Twists of Fate**

Lexa's cell phone rang, echoing an unexpected ring tone in the dark room which made Lexa frown at the shaming intrusion.

 _What the…?_

"It's Raining Men" song reverberated mercilessly through her bedroom and Lexa groaned, displeased, reaching for it and considering throwing it out of the window. It had to be Anya, of course, that intrusive ring tone hacked into her phone. Who else would grab her device without her consent and do such a thing?

She made a mental note to change the password. _Again._

Before answering the call, she took a glance at the digital clock on the screen. It was almost 1 A.M. and the rambunctious song would have woken her up if she had actually been sleeping, but she had just been staring at the ceiling, following light and shade patterns that shifted endlessly as the city luminosity pulsed. Insomnia had become her new bedfellow it seemed.

The incoming call was from the shelter and for a moment she forgot the irksome tone that was quickly getting to her nerves.

"What's wrong, Luna?" She answered sitting up in bed, mild concern written all over her face.

"I'm sorry to call so late, Lexa, but there's a kid here who is looking for you," Luna sounded both distraught and wary. "His name is Aden." She tacked on.

"I'm on my way." That's all Lexa said before she ended the call and shot out of bed.

She let out a puff tinged with relief. She had been withholding it ever since Aden had run away and disappeared. At least now she knew his whereabouts and she could keep him safe.

She took off her black satin pajamas and snatched the clothes she had worn that day and put them on. There was no time to do anything else and frankly she didn't care about her messy hair. She could try to fix it at a traffic light while driving to Polis.

She went downstairs and made a beeline for the door, she grabbed the pair of shoes she had previously left there, put them on and then took her car and house keys before unlocking the door and storming out of her penthouse.

It took her only fifteen minutes to get there. That had to be a new record.

She parked the car right in front of the shelter and got out of it, activating the alarm before walking to the entrance where Luna was already waiting for her.

The caretaker let her in right away. Lexa suppressed a smile when she realized Luna was wearing her cute Hello Kitty sleepwear.

Luna must have red Lexa's mind, though, because her cheeks were tomato red. She was thankful it was dark, so Lexa wouldn't notice her embarrassment.

"Uhm… The kids dig it." Luna confessed, avoiding Lexa's gaze.

"I bet they do." She replied, heading for the building as she cast an amused sideways glance at her.

"Where is he?" Lexa asked as soon as Luna had closed the door behind them.

"He's in the dining area. I offered him some food, I presume he has not been eating properly."

Lexa nodded in agreement. She was about to go to find Aden when she paused for a moment and turned to face Luna.

"Luna, I have no idea how long I will be talking to him or how he will behave tonight, so I need to tell you that he's just lost his brother; he shot himself right in front of him while we were trying to arrest him." Lexa carefully explained.

"Oh my God…"

"Aden escaped and then I broke the rules. I offered him an opportunity, that's why he's here." Lexa sighed, "I hope he stays. I want him to stay. Even though his brother was a lawbreaker, Aden doesn't strike me as one."

"You're right. He doesn't." Luna agreed. "I saw him outside from my window, hovering by the entrance; he looked so lost and hopeless. When I went to talk to him, he was cautious, yet polite."

"Is the single room still available? The one next to yours?" Lexa asked, assuming Aden would be willing to stay.

"Yes, and it is ready to be used."

"Good. Now, please go to sleep, don't wait up for us."

"Ok. You know where the spare keys are." Luna said. She hesitated a bit, as if she wanted to say something, but she let that slip and made her way to the staircase. "Goodnight, Lexa."

"Goodnight, Luna."

Lexa's eyes followed Luna's silhouette until it was out of sight. She inhaled all the air her lungs could fit before walking towards the small dining hall.

The scene before her clenched her heart.

Aden was sitting at the large rectangular table. His plate had already been emptied as well as the glass in front of him. He was staring at the napkin in his hands. The expression on his face was gloomy; there were mud stains and grime on his forehead, cheeks, and chin, but his hands were clean. He must have washed them before eating. His eyes were red and with his slumped shoulders he looked tiny, fragile.

When he heard Lexa's footsteps, he jerked his head up to meet Lexa's eyes.

"Aden." That's all Lexa managed to articulate before she found herself almost tackled by the boy in a tight embrace.

Lexa's eyes widened and her jaw seemed to have loosened. She felt skinny arms surrounding her midsection firmly. Needless to say, she hadn't seen that coming and she didn't know how to react, let alone what to say.

Then maybe there was nothing to say.

Her hands that had been frozen mid-air came to rest on top of Aden's head. It was a gentle touch that Lexa provided with some hesitance.

She was not used to it. She was not used to this display of affection, to this emotional turmoil. She didn't know what to do with her hands, she didn't know what to do at all, but she let herself flow and she caught her fingers running through Aden's hair tenderly.

He started sobbing uncontrollably, yet his hold did not falter.

Lexa's words did not reach her mouth. What could she say anyway? She knew firsthand that there was nothing she could say or do to lessen the pain, to lessen that kind of pain.

Loss was so familiar to her, sometimes it felt it was all she ever knew, so she just stood there, caressing his hair, allowing him to find solace in that simple gesture.

Minutes passed and Aden let up his grip and then he just stepped away from Lexa as if he had been burned or had just done something terribly wrong.

"I- I'm sorry." He said, his gaze dropped to the floor.

"Don't be. It's ok." Lexa mustered a brief smile he was not able to see.

"Are you still hungry?" She asked. He was too thin, too neglected.

He shook his head, still looking down.

"Thank you for being here, Aden." Lexa's voice was warm and sincere.

That's when his eyes finally locked with hers. Disbelief was plastered on his face.

"I didn't know if you'd come, but I hoped you would." She confessed, "you are welcome to stay as long as you want."

"But… I can't… I can't afford this." He muttered, his eyes roving the room. "I have nothing to offer in return."

Lexa frowned. Was he actually thinking he'd have to pay something back? That kid's thoughtfulness was out of this world.

"You don't have to give anything, Aden. This is a shelter for children who have nobody to turn to. I will not ask anything from you."

"I can shine shoes, I can wash cars and I know how to do house chores, I know a little bit of plumbing and carpentry. I can also do the dishes and if I don't know how to do something, I can learn. I am a fast learner." Aden sounded so eager to please, so eager to feel worthy. Lexa's heart was breaking for him.

"I thought you said you didn't have anything to offer, yet I am finding out you're quite the jack-of-all-trades." Lexa smiled, truly smiled at him.

He smiled back and that alone was enough to illuminate the whole city, Lexa thought.

"You must be tired." Lexa didn't have to ask. There were bags under his eyes that gave his weariness away. "Come with me, I'll show you to your room."

He didn't move, though. He was just staring at her, biting his lower lip in sign of nervousness.

"I promise it is better than the streets?" She pushed.

"Okay." He said, his voice shy.

As they were making their way to the second floor, Lexa indicated him the different rooms and areas of the building and she also told him about the assortment of activities kids were offered every now and then. Aden's eyes took all in earnestly. It was hard for him to believe that was happening, it was difficult to let it sink in. Was he really going to be able to feel safe and cared for?

Lexa stopped when they reached the end of the long corridor.

"This is your room, Aden. This _can_ be your room if you wish." She turned the door knob and gestured him in.

If Lexa had been in front of him, she would have seen the look of awe on his face.

The room was not that large, but it certainly was not an eggshell, either. There was a one single bed by a window, a wooden bedside table, a dresser, a chair, a hamper by the bed, and a small closet. The walls were white and blue and everything looked brand new and clean.

"Do you like it?" Lexa asked since Aden hadn't made a sound.

"It's… Perfect." He almost whispered. "I've never… I've never had my own room."

Lexa looked at him when he turned to her with his big blue eyes shining, brimming with tears. She couldn't even begin to fathom what kind of harrowing life he had had. Suddenly, that very room seemed too insignificant. It felt like a humble band aid that was trying to cover a wound that needed a hundred stitches.

Lexa sometimes wondered if there was a divinity, a God, a Goddess, an almighty force that oversaw everything in the universe. She was not a religious person, in fact, she didn't believe in religion, for her that was just a notion that gave some people an excuse to instill fear in others in order to manipulate them, or it gave people the chance to avoid their own responsibility by placing it in the hands of a godly figure. However, standing there, close to a child whose soul had been bruised, abused and hurt over and over again, she couldn't even come to think that there would be a God who would allow innocent children to suffer that much. It made no sense. That world, their world sometimes made no sense at all.

She wasn't able to say anything because there was a 'how can these things happen?' stuck in her throat, so she entered the room and picked up some clothes that had been put on the chair (Luna was such a thoughtful person, too) and then she handed them to Aden.

"Here. Luna's found some garments that might fit you. There's a bathroom across from this room if you want to take a shower before resting." Lexa noticed there was a clean towel on the bed as well (she'd have to give Luna a raise). "And a towel." She tacked on, pointing at the folded piece of fabric on the blanket.

Aden took the clothes and the towel without blinking. He hadn't taken a shower since his brother… Well, since the incident and he was already feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. Besides, he didn't want to get the bed sheets dirty.

He was about to leave the room when he turned to see Lexa. "Will you be gone by the time I finish showering?" There was some sadness in his tone.

"Would you like me to stay a while longer?" she asked. It was almost 2 AM and she was frazzled, but she didn't feel like leaving him, not until he was tucked under the blankets and looked after.

Aden dipped his head.

"I'll be here then." Lexa sat on the chair and he got out of the room right away.

The lulling sound of running water was the proper background for Lexa's contemplation.

She recognized part of herself in Aden. Both had been torn apart by reality too soon. The had beheld the inevitable encounter with death at an early age; they had both beheld the ultimate inescapable truth about life: nothing lasts forever, no one stays forever, you're bound to lose everyone and everything you hold dear someday. That realization alone should be enough for people to make the most of their time on Earth; nevertheless, it was sometimes too much to bear, too hard to accept, and if you're a little kid, your whole world crumbles and your tiny innocent heart is smashed to flinders or it is coerced to harden to avoid more pain.

Lexa had opted for the latter. She wondered how Aden would cope with his own sorrow.

She heard the click and turned her gaze towards the door. Aden had just crossed the threshold and he was fully dressed, wearing a Superman t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

He looked down at himself. "I kinda prefer Batman." He said shyly.

Lexa curved her lips upward. "I couldn't agree more."

Aden smiled briefly and padded towards the hamper. He put his dirty clothes into it and then sat on the bed, his body facing Lexa.

"You should get into bed, Aden. You are exhausted." Lexa suggested.

He nodded and tucked himself in. He was lying flat on his back and his eyes were fixed on the bare ceiling.

"Aden, I-…"

"It's not your fault." He cut in all of a sudden, having sensed what Lexa would say.

The brunette jerked her head and turned to him. He was still looking up at the ceiling, but he was apparently in synch with the myriad of thoughts in Lexa's mind.

"It was his choice," Aden continued, his expression unmoving. "I was not blind… I knew that he could get himself killed. I just… never thought he would do it himself. So, it's not your fault, Lexa."

She remained silent. Aden was a remarkable boy. Wise beyond his years.

"Still," Lexa said, feeling like she owed something to him. "I am sorry for what you had to undergo and all I can offer you is a blank slate, even though I know I cannot mend what has been broken, Aden."

He fought off the tears that were threatening to spill and drew in a deep breath.

"I can see strength in you, Aden. You will overcome this. You will." She assured him, she felt it in her bones.

Silence fell over them, but it was not awkward, it was not suffocating, just necessary.

"Does the pain ever fade away?" Aden asked, breaking the stillness around them.

Lexa's heart flinched. _No. It never does._

"I think in the end we learn to live with it and it slowly becomes a memory that molds us and defines us." Lexa's words were soft, yet they conveyed melancholy and resigned acceptance.

Aden looked at her then, knowingly. "You've lost someone, too." It was not a question.

"Yes." That's all she let out and Aden would take it.

The boy's gaze landed again on the ceiling.

Lexa was about to stand up when he stopped her.

"Lexa, could you…?" He trailed off. He didn't want to be a nuisance.

The brunette understood the unvoiced request.

"Of course," she said. "I'll be here until you fall asleep."

Aden didn't say anything else. He shut his eyes and let slumber get hold of him.

Lexa was there, guarding his sleep, and for the first time he felt he was more than a burden. For the first time, he mattered. He truly mattered.

* * *

"So, bad cop, good cop?" Bellamy asked, rolling up his sleeves in front of the closed door.

"And who the fuck will be the good cop, princess?" Anya inquired, arms crossed in front of her chest. "Not me, and you wouldn't be able to pull it off, either. You're as nice as an ogre in rut."

"Fuck off, Onion!" Bellamy spat.

His companion rolled her eyes at him. "Onion? Really? What are you, five?"

"It suits you, you can't deny it. The pronunciation is close enough and you bring tears into people's eyes when you're around, so suck it up."

Anya shook her head and shouldered him out of her way so that she could open the door first. "Bad cop, stupid cop it is." She mumbled as she pushed down the handle.

They walked into the interrogation room, pulled out a chair each and sat down in front of a man who pictured a smug smile on his face. He was one of the thugs who had been arrested two days ago and he didn't look intimidated, despite his bullet wound in one of his hands caused by Anya's accurate aim.

"So… Jason, huh?" Bellamy asked, rising an eyebrow. "Jason … Smoldick?" His lips twisted in a smirk. Anya wasn't fairing any better, she was having a hard time trying not to snicker at that unfortunate surname. "I bet that last name gets you a lot of dates on Friday nights." He winked shamelessly at him.

Jason's smugness was wiped off his face instantly. He deadpanned, obviously unamused. He folded his arms across his chest and a scowl took up residence on his face.

Anya leaned over the table, her hands clasped in front of her. "Listen, Littlefinger, we have a …tiny problem."

"We?" Bellamy interrupted. "He has a tiny problem, ours is quite big, Agent Forest." He said boastfully.

"Sure. Whatever." She said flatly. "The thing is, Jason, you're not talking. You've refused to talk to us and we are pretty upset about it and we would appreciate it if you kept our pecker up, do you catch my drift?" She narrowed her eyes at him, an almost there smirk on her features.

"I have nothing to say." Mr. Itty-Bitty-Smarty-pants replied, unfazed by their mockery.

"Oh, don't be such a prick," Bellamy huffed. "No pun intended. Just give us a name, tell us who your 'Ice' supplier is, and I promise we will _shorten_ our small talk."

Jason scoffed at them. "I ain't saying shit."

Bellamy clenched his jaw. "Listen, jerk. You really pulled a _boner_ out there when you decided shooting police officers was the right way to go, so you don't have too many choices here. If you want the charges to be less drastic, just give us a freaking name."

"Besides," Anya began, voice threatening low. "Can you imagine all the fun you'll have when the other inmates find out what your last name is?"

Jason moved uncomfortably on his chair.

"And believe me when I tell you, Littlefinger," she tacked on. "We're going to make sure everybody in there knows you. Hell, we'll even have a welcome banner made to celebrate Mr. Smoldick's arrival. Just think about it."

Bellamy and Anya just stared at him expectantly. For a few seconds, his demeanor had exhibited hesitation, some fear even. However, after thinking it over and remembering who he was dealing with, that posture dissipated fairly quickly and he gave them a lopsided grin.

"I guess I'll take my chances then." He said, quirking an eyebrow defiantly.

Bellamy snapped and he hit the table with his left fist. "Alright, you _cocky_ bastard," He said through gritted teeth. "Let's see how long you keep on smiling after you are no longer able to sit down to have your rotten lunch in jail."

Jason didn't even shrink back at such display of anger. He snorted and turned his gaze to one of the walls, uninterested.

Anya was the first one to rise from her chair. "Very well, Smoldick. We're leaving, for now. But this is far from over."

She made her way out of the interrogation room and Bellamy darted after her, visibly upset and mumbling something about how ballsy that jerk was.

Once the door shut behind the two FBI agents, Bellamy huffed. "Fuck! Now what? No one has been able to get him to talk and the other way is useless, too."

"Now we'll have to resort to our secret weapon." Anya replied easily.

Bellamy's forehead creased with confusion. "Anya, my looks and charm haven't worked, and I'm not sure if I want to flash them to submission. I mean, my junk is pretty awesome, but…"

Anya gave him her best 'you-have-to-be-fucking-kidding-me' glare. "Bellamy I swear, every time I see you, you make me fucking question the theory of evolution. I mean, really? Millions of years… "she moved her hand up and down gesturing at him, "for this?!"

Bellamy narrowed his eyes. "Have I told you I don't like you, like, at all?"

"You've just broken my poor little stony heart."

Bellamy snorted. "Anyway, Miranda Priestly-wannabe, what's our secret weapon then?"

Anya smirked wickedly. "The Commander."

* * *

"That fucking cuntosaurus!" Raven's ranting could probably be heard within a 10 mile radius. She kept pacing back and forth in Clarke's living room while the blonde and Octavia were sitting on the couch, staring at the flower bouquet on the coffee table as if it had been delivered by a little green man from Mars. "That irksome scum-bucket! How half-baked can a person be?!" The Latina was fuming, she was holding a card in her right hand and was griping it so tightly that her fingers were nearly white.

"She has a point, Clarke." Octavia agreed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Why didn't you dump Finn right there? I mean, it was the perfect moment to get rid of his sorry ass."

"Yeah, Clarkey! Why didn't you?" Raven asked, taking a detour and reaching the kitchen, where she made herself at home by opening the fridge and grabbing a beer, not minding crumpling the card in the process.

"I don't know," the blonde replied shaking her head. "I was too overwhelmed by everything and my brain kind of shut down."

"Exactly!" Raven joined them on the couch, dropping the card next to the flowers and twisting the cap off her beer. "That's the only logical explanation, Gryffindor, because the smart friend we know would have told him to go to hell right there."

Clarke took the card Raven had left on the coffee table and her eyes roamed over it once more.

 _I am sorry, Clarke. I didn't mean to sound like a selfish moron._

 _Forgive me?_

 _Love,_

 _Finn_

The blonde sighed and put the card back on the table. The red roses were beautiful, but she somehow wished they weren't tainted with that jarring feeling that her argument with Finn had instilled in her.

Clarke felt drained, emotionally and mentally drained. It didn't help much that she had been working almost non-stop for the past week. She should feel happy, though. She should be feeling quite giddy due to the opportunity to spend time with children doing what she loved. Instead, had been moping around her apartment for the past two hours after her work shift had ended.

"Clarke, please tell us you're not having him back." Octavia pushed, worried that her friend, her very kind-hearted friend would stick with Finn so he wouldn't feel rejected. Clarke had always had a penchant for pleasing others, helping others or making everyone feel valued or taken care of, sometimes even disregarding her own feelings or well-being in the process.

Raven took a sip of her beer and Clarke could feel her piercing gaze waiting for an answer. The Latina was having thoughts akin to those of Octavia's and was ready to knock some sense into her blonde friend if necessary.

"I know he's felt left out," the blonde started. Her friends were about to protest vehemently, mouths already open to let out a litany of curses, but Clarke stopped them immediately by holding up one of her hands. "But! It is crystal clear that we don't see eye to eye and that our life projects are completely different."

Raven snorted and rolled her eyes. "That's obvious! He just wants to fuck you senseless while you want to be free to follow your heart and save the world. Duh!"

"So… Is it over?" Octavia asked. She only wanted to make sure Clark wouldn't get cold feet at the last minute.

Clarke lowered her gaze and her eyes fixed on the card Finn had sent along with the bouquet.

"Yes. It will be, soon." She said quietly. She knew she had to do it. She knew it the moment she hadn't felt comfortable to have him around on her father's death anniversary, and then she had confirmed that notion when Finn had practically planned their future together in front of his parents without her consent. And then that shitty afternoon happened. She really didn't need more evidence to rest her case. "But for now, let's get ready to party, ok?" She smiled, trying to sound excited about her night out with her friends. It was Octavia's birthday after all and she felt a little guilty about being sulky on such an important day. Her eroded relationship with Finn and its imminent ending had to be put on hold.

"That's our girl!" Raven shouted, placing the empty beer bottle on the coffee table enthusiastically. "Party Griffin is back in the house, bitches!" She stood up briskly and took Clarke's hands to hoist her up. Once the blonde was on her feet, Raven smacked her ass to propel her to her bedroom. "C'mon, hot stuff! Get into the shower, you reek of despair and sexual frustration."

Clarke gasped when the flat of Raven's hand hit her butt and she flipper her off and stuck out her tongue to blow a raspberry at her.

"What a sneaky tongue you have there, Griffin. "Raven said slyly.

"Oh, you have no idea, Raven." Clarke's suggestive voice could be heard coming out of her room where she was already picking her towel to get into the bathroom.

"Hey!" Octavia shouted. "Don't forget to wear some of your nicest clothes to the night club; your mysterious mythical creature will be there."

Clarke's head peeped pout of her room. "My what?"

Octavia turned her head. "Your GOT maniac whose hoodie warmed up your frozen ass?"

"Sexy Lexi." Raven wiggled her eyebrows. "Time to grope the real deal. Unless, you have a hoodie kink you're not ready to admit yet."

Clarke's head was replaced by a middle finger which quickly disappeared out of sight.

* * *

Octavia and Raven were watching Orange is the New Black season 4, again, when the sound of high heels meandering towards them got their attention and both of their heads turned in direction of the source.

"Daaamn!" Raved wholf-whistled when she saw Clarke standing there between the love seat and the couch, waiting for their approval. "Coochie mama!"

Octavia hummed in agreement. "Clarke, you're quite the eye-candy tonight."

"I'd definitely nail that!" Raven added, looking unashamedly at Clarke's well-defined ass in those tight black jeans.

Clarke lifted her middle finger at her. "Nail this."

"Add a second and let's seal the deal." The Latina retorted smugly.

The blonde narrowed her eyes. "Up yours, Raven."

"Precisely my point, Clarkey." The Latina snickered.

"I fucking hate you." The blonde said, slumping onto the couch in surrender. She knew she had roasted herself there and there was no way she'd beat Raven in that department.

Clarke was wearing a Persian blue halter neck top that made the color of her eyes stand out even more and her hair was beautifully loose, adorning her creamy shoulders. Her makeup was on point, not too little, not too much, and that pink gloss on her lips made them look inviting and soft.

Octavia and Raven had already dressed up before arriving at Clarke's place. They looked riveting as well.

The Latina had chosen to wear a black cut top, black jeans and a red leather jacket. She was attractive and she knew it, so she didn't need to wear anything fancy to get people to look at her. She was aware her charm and self-confidence could make people's knees wobble if she wanted to.

As for Octavia, she was wearing a black pencil skirt and a red open shoulder red top which was Lincoln's favorite. Her long hair was half-do and yeah, she knew she'd end up disheveled by the end of the night because she was planning on claiming her birthday gift from Lincoln in the wildest possible way, so she had settled for a simple hairstyle and easy access to some body parts her boyfriend enjoyed very much.

"What time will Lincoln be here?" Clarke asked, taking her cell phone out of a small black purse.

"Any minute now I guess." Octavia replied. "He must be leaving the office by now."

Clarke's brows furrowed as soon as she saw the eleven missed calls and the dozens of texts she had received. All of them from Finn.

"Desperate much?" Raven questioned, casting a glance at the blonde's cell phone screen.

"Horny much." Octavia chimed in, rolling her eyes.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." Clarke said, shoving the device into her purse. "Tonight I want to forget I'm dating a douche and if I must drown myself in booze to do that, so be it."

"Atta girl!" Raven chirped. "I knew we kept you for a reason, Griffin."

"Yeah, because you enjoy laughing at my expense." The blonde said dryly.

"That and free beer, of course." Raven winked at her, grabbing the third bottle off the table took a swig of the amber liquid.

Octavia snickered, but her attention was diverted when her cell phone beeped. She had just gotten a message from Lincoln.

"Our driver is here." She beamed, getting off the couch. "Ladies, let's get this party started!"

Raven and Octavia hurried from the room squealing with excitement while Clarke made a sudden halt and returned to her bedroom to get the hoodie she was supposed to give Lexa back that night. When she went out of her room, she was carrying the garment which had been dry-cleaned and was carefully wrapped in plastic to prevent it from getting dirty or absorbing the smoke that will surely be stinking up the bar. Clarke stopped again as she walked beside the love seat in the living room and she went around it to snatch the card that Finn had sent with the flowers. She took a last look at it before tearing it to pieces and then, with a sigh of relief, she joined her friends, who had already made their way out of her apartment.

Tonight, she was going to have fun and 'Party Animal Griffin' would take the world by storm with the consent of the universe or without it.

* * *

"Wow! If I were a man, I would have blown my load by now." Anya said, hoisting a brow and looking at her friend from head to toe brazenly.

Lexa glared at her and scrunched her nose. "Gross, Anya."

The dirty blonde snickered. She was leaning on the door frame, waiting for Lexa to get ready so they could go to Octavia's birthday celebration. She was wearing a black leather blouse and red leather pants. Her badass man eater (well, people eater) outfit was topped off with Classic goth pointy ankle boots.

Anya had been there for about an hour, she had spent thirty minutes talking about Jason's unwillingness to cooperate and the rest of the time trying to convince Lexa to leave her den and hang out with actual people that night. In the end, Lexa caved, took a quick shower and rummaged through her closet to find something to wear that would make her look stunning and yet, unattainable.

Lexa settled for black skinny jeans, a white tank top with 'Valar Morghulis' saying in the front, a pair of black military combat boots, and an asymmetric black leather jacket. She decided to leave her hair loose and to put on some makeup. The red lipstick made her plump lips look even more irresistible.

"Not bad Commander," Anya said. "First night out in months and you'll have half the city falling at your feet."

"Great," Lexa deadpanned. "Please do not let my face mislead you. I am actually thrilled."

"Hmm." Anya sneered. "Who knows, Lex? You might even know someone in the biblical sense tonight."

Lexa rolled her eyes and elbowed her way out of her bedroom, pretending to ignore that comment.

"You can play hard to catch, Lexa, but I am sure your 'cave of wonders' would disagree." Anya walked right behind her, heading downstairs. "If you did a split, a colony of rabid bats would fly out of there."

Lexa stopped dead on her tracks halfway down the stairs and spun around to shoot daggers at her with her eyes. "My 'cave of wonders'? Seriously, Anya?!"

"I was going to say 'honey pot', but you're not that sweet and then I would have missed up the chance to bring up the bats, so…" her friend shrugged.

Lexa shook her head and began descending the stairs again. "Henceforth, you're banned from alluding to any of my body parts, Anya."

Anya sniggered, amused. "Would 'bearded clam' have been a more suitable choice?"

Lexa grabbed the keys to her car and strode towards the door.

"Meat muffin?"

The brunette grunted and opened the door, considering locking her friend up in her own penthouse, but she knew she would eventually have to come back and put up with her dark sense of humor again.

"Cabbage field?"

Lexa closed the door after Anya crossed the threshold and she reached the elevator in silence.

"Sticky bun?"

The doors opened and both friends got in. Lexa's expression was blank, her hands were in her leather jacket pockets, but she was really starting to question her friendship choices in life.

"Yum-yum?"

"Shut up, Anya!"

* * *

Octavia couldn't complain. She was feeling like a queen. Lincoln had chosen one of the fanciest night clubs in the city and they were sitting at a booth in the VIP area. The music was loud and they could feel the beat not only in their ears, but also in their chests, which rumbled to the rhythm of some music hits.

Whisky, rum, vodka, and beer bottles were set on the booth, along with ice buckets. When Clarke laid eyes on that surface, she knew the night would be dark and full of terrors.

Bellamy had just arrived and was hugging Octavia tight. Raven was already downing her fourth beer of the night; Monty and Jaspers, two of their dearest friends were drooling all over the girls they could see on the dance floor from up there, and Lincoln was suspiciously talking to the manager down on the first floor where the common mortals lingered.

Clarke's hands were on the handrail, she was looking down at the bodies dancing, groping, swaying, and twerking. Her eyes were roving the place insistently, they were mostly scanning the entrance, on the lookout for a certain woman whom she was looking forward to meeting. Every time a lady walked in, she wondered if that would be her and she was starting to freak herself out because she was bordering on stalking, or at least some sort of mild lunacy.

"Last time I checked, your juicy ass didn't have the power to summon people at will." Raven almost shouted in her ear, handing her a weird-looking concoction.

"Oh, but it does." Clarke winked at her and took a sip of the alcoholic beverage. She grimaced. "What the hell is this?"

"Who the fuck knows? Jasper and Monty mixed some stuff." Raven answered, drinking the same infamous liquid.

A beat passed and Raven made a confession. "Lincoln said he had a surprise for me, too, you know."

Clarke looked at her, intrigued.

"He said I'd meet my soulmate, he said "sour-mate", though." She chuckled. "It seems Lexa has a very hot friend whose giftedness and wickedness match mine."

"That's hard to believe." Clarke said, impressed.

"Yep. That's what I said."

"If that's so, the world is doomed then." The blonde asseverated.

"Yep. Pretty much." The Latina concurred. She raised her glass. "To the end of the world!" she toasted.

"To the end of the world!" Clarke said, clinking their glasses.

Outside, Lexa had just found a parking place and had turned off her car stereo, which had been unusually loud since she had decided to zero in on music instead of listening to Anya's pestering regarding vagina and sex euphemisms.

People were slack-jawed all around them when they saw the two breathtaking women getting out of the car, which was also very hard to miss.

It was Lexa's favorite toy, a black BMW i8. It was a hybrid car that went along with her views on environment protection, but that also happened to be fun to drive and had proved to be quite the chick magnet. That particular perk had been thoroughly used two or three years ago, when Lexa had chosen to become a womanizer to dull her pain. Although, nowadays, that upside was completely overlooked. She just enjoyed driving it and feeling free whenever she took it for a ride in the countryside.

Anya stood by the entrance, arms crossed over her chest. Lexa had fallen a little behind looking at the façade of the night club they were about to set foot in.

 _'_ _The Spaceship'_

The brunette sighed. There was long queue that went halfway around the block, and most sets of eyes were on her. That made her feel totally out of place.

"Lexa, what are you waiting for? Christmas?" Anya asked, snapping her out of her daze.

"I don't know how to do this, Anya." Lexa replied.

"You mean, living or what?"

"The mingling. Human interaction." Lexa explained; her hands motioned all around her. "This."

"I know your people skills are rusty, just like mine, but that won't stop me from broadening my horizons and perhaps meeting hot specimens." Anya's face plastered her mischievous lopsided grin. "A girl has needs, remember?"

"An hour, Anya. That's all. Then I am leaving." Lexa said.

"Works for me." Her friend shrugged. "Now, c'mon. The free booze is waiting."

Anya approached the bouncer who was guarding the entrance and she told him they were there for Octavia's party and he immediately let them in, not before checking them out. Lexa glared at him and he diverted his gaze swiftly.

Clarke had chosen to sit close to the handrail because that spot allowed her to have a good view of the aisle that led to the entrance and she was chatting with her friends while stealing some glances at the area every now and then.

Octavia and Lincoln were seated across from her and they both shared conspiratorial smiles at their blonde friend's anxious attitude.

"They'd better show up," Octavia spoke in her boyfriend's ear. "I want to see what comes out of this."

"They said they would." Lincoln stated and he dropped a tender kiss on top of his girlfriend's head.

Clarke turned her face towards the entrance and then her heart did a funny thing when she saw two gorgeous women standing there, presumably looking for someone or something. One of them pointed up at the VIP area and the blonde's stomach did a flip-flop.

"Wow… Do you think that's them?" Raven asked, almost on top of her, looking in their direction.

Clarke was speechless. The two women were… Ravishing, but the one in the leather jacket. She couldn't distinguish her features well, and the lightning didn't provide a good visual, but her heart was beating fast, faster than the music beat and she could feel the throbbing in her head, in her bones. There was something about that woman that was taking her breath away.

And then she was gone in a blur.

"What the…?" Clarke muttered, her eyes roaming over the dance floor, looking for the woman.

* * *

"Yes. I understand. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Lexa ended the call and grabbed Anya by her arm. "I have to go. Indra said something about 'the Commander' and I take it this was your own suggestion."

Anya's mouth fell wide open. "Now? You're kidding, right?"

"She said Jason is being transferred tomorrow and that the NYPD director is putting a lot of pressure on us to get information. So yes, I have to leave. I would say I'm sorry but since this was your proposition…"

"Shit. I thought that could wait." Anya said, visibly upset. "Do you want me to come along?"

"No. Stay and enjoy yourself. I have an idea." Lexa turned around and started walking to the exit. "Say hi to Lincoln for me!" she shouted before making her way out.

Anya ran her fingers through her hair, disappointed. "Well, more liquor for me…"

She reached the staircase and went up to the VIP area. Her eyes sparkled when they spotted the large booth packed with alcohol bottles and then the twinkle in them became even brighter when they landed on the fine-looking people who were sitting at the table. That was what heaven would look like, right?

"Anya, you came!" Lincoln shouted, rising from his seat and walking up to her.

 _Not yet, but hopefully._ She allowed him to hug her and her hands patted his back amicably as her gaze stalked a certain brunette who was doing pretty much the same thing to her.

"Where's Lexa?" the jacked man asked, looking over her shoulder.

Clarke wasted no time in standing next to him when she heard the name. Not that she was eavesdropping or anything.

"I managed to drag her stubborn ass up here, but she got an urgent call and had to go back to the office." The dirty blonde replied.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Lincoln said, visibly dispirited.

Anya realized a certain blonde had not so subtly joined them and she put on her iron mask and her eyes trailed to her. "And who is this?" She asked bluntly.

Lincoln was about to answer when the woman in question beat him to it.

"I'm Clarke." She said, offering her hand to greet her. "This nosy blonde is Clarke."

Anya studied her carefully, raking her eyes over her while the blonde waited for her to give her a polite handshake.

"So, this is _the_ Clarke." She said, finally accepting her handshake. Her grip was a bit harder than normal. It was her way of establishing her level of roughness.

Clarke hoisted an eyebrow at her, and then at Lincoln. " _The_ Clarke?"

Lincoln played nonchalance. "The one and only." He answered simply.

"Huh." Anya seemed to be absorbing the information and sorting it out quietly in her mind, and before the gears in her brain stopped rotating, a playful voice interrupted her musing.

"Who's the sexy momma?" Raven asked, appearing next to Clarke and placing herself between the blonde and Anya. She offered her right hand to the newcomer and she gave her her sexiest smile. "I'm Raven, but you can call me yours if you want to."

Anya quirked a brow at her.

 _This is going to be fun._

Anya shook her hand and held it longer than what the etiquette rules stipulated necessary. Her distinctive evil grin back on her face. "Nice to meet you, _yours_ , I'm Anya, but you can call me _'Oh God'_ , so you can get used to it from the beginning."

"Daaamn…!" The Latina let out, biting her lower lip. "Lincoln, you got me a keeper."

Clarke's and Lincoln's eyebrows shot up in surprise. They both looked a little flustered, unlike the two women who were blatantly flirting.

Lincoln was the first to react, though. He cleared his throat and stepped away from Anya to let her through and join them at their booth. "Uhm… Let me introduce you to the rest of the gang, Anya."

Raven snickered. "I could introduce her myself."

"Oh, my God, Raven!" Clarke chided her. "Can't you keep it in your pants for five seconds?"

Anya cast a sideways glance to the Latina and scoffed at the blonde's reaction.

Raven paid no mind to those words and she ogled Anya's body, enjoying how the leather barely hid anything. "Shit…"

Clarke whacked the back of Raven's head.

"Anya, this is Octavia, my amazing girlfriend," Lincoln announced. "That lanky guy is Jasper, the guy next to him is Monty, our IT genius, and you already know Bellamy over there."

Everyone waved and said hi to her. Everyone except Bellamy. "Really?" He asked, voice dripping with disdain. "Isn't it enough to torture me with your delightful presence at work, Anya?"

"What can I say, Blake? I am a sucker for drama, which follows you like a moth to a flame." Anya retorted back.

"We finally agree on something, Anya." Bellamy said. "You _are_ a sucker." He smirked triumphally.

"I kinda hope you are." Raven butted in, wiggling her eyebrows at the dirty blonde whose expression turned unreadable.

"Oh, the best, baby." Anya winked at her as she sat next to Lincoln.

Everyone else's jaw had fallen onto the floor and it took them a few seconds to roll it back up and pretend to be hanging out with PG-13 rated comedians.

"And where did you leave the Commander?" Bellamy changed topics and poured some vodka in his glass. He didn't want to say anything that could be used against him or that could encourage Raven to hump Anya right there in front of them.

"Back in the office. A last minute call." She replied, helping herself with some whisky. "Mr. Smoldick wont' know what hit him."

"The Commander?" Jasper asked. His eyes were unfocused already and he concealed a burp with his fist over his mouth.

"Lexa." Anya said, taking a sip of Scotch.

"You know her, Bellamy?" Clarke raised her voice so it could be heard over the techno music that the DJ had picked to play.

Anya snorted. "Oh, he knows her alright…"

He narrowed his eyes at her.

Octavia began to feel curious when she noticed her brother's behavior. "Do tell, big brother."

"There's nothing to tell." He answered visibly uncomfortable. He suddenly downed all the vodka he had just poured in his glass.

"He made a pass at her and she turned him down." Anya explained, looking at Bellamy with a devilish glint in her eyes.

Everyone whipped their heads around to fix their eyes on Bellamy, who couldn't help but look mortified.

"She turned you down?!" Monty asked, incredulous.

No one had ever rejected Bellamy and that was common knowledge. No woman had ever dared to say no to those charming pimples and to that appetizing six pack. Of course, his job title had always been an extra bonus. The moment he introduced himself as an FBI agent, the ladies' panties ended up on around their ankles.

And this, this was just unbelievable.

"I. Fucking. Hate. You. Anya." He muttered, glaring at her over the rim of his glass now full again.

"Wow." That's all his friends were able to utter.

"Well, don't sweat it, Bellamy." Lincoln said, in an attempt to patch up his manhood. "You never stood a chance, but at least you know it had nothing to do with you. It's just…"

"Yeah, yeah." Bellamy dismissed the comment with a hand. "Such is life I guess."

Clarke felt curious about the hidden message that was being conveyed. So, Lexa had flipped the bird at Bellamy. Bellamy, the fine stud who always got away with his whims. Almost always, she corrected. And she was also known as 'The Commander', which was kind of hot. And if her eyes had not deceived her, she was beautiful.

Things kept getting better and better, and Clarke really felt like a sad panda because she hadn't gotten the chance to meet her that night.

The blonde was so caught up in her own reverie that she failed to notice Anya's gaze upon her.

"Bellamy doesn't stand a chance indeed, but, on the other hand…" The dirty brunette said, without averting her eyes from the blonde in front of her.

Clarke didn't hear her due to the noise, but Lincoln didn't miss a beat.

"You read my mind, Anya." He said. "I'm not giving up, though, and something tells me it won't take long for those two to cross paths."

"Cheers to that then." Anya raised her glass and left her glass empty. "Meanwhile…" She cast her eyes on Raven, who was looking her and held her gaze eagerly. "There's a bird I'd like to pluck…"

Lincoln laughed out loud.

Yeah. It was going to be a hell of a night.

* * *

It had not been her intention to show up dressed like that at the office.

Then again, it had not been her intention to spend her night working and dealing with a man whose IQ was lower than Donald Trump's. Well, maybe it was a tie. Maybe there was no scientific way to measure their feeble-mindedness after all.

Nevertheless, Lexa had been clever enough to come up with a plan on her way to the FBI offices, and she hoped she would be free to go back to the celebration just to unwind for a while and yes, to also see who the enigmatic Clarke was.

It wouldn't hurt to meet her, would it? She could, in time, become a friend, nothing else needed to happen. Nothing else could happen anyway.

She had already spoken to Indra and her boss had given her the authorization to proceed. So there she was, standing in front of the door with her hopes up.

She walked in and Jason looked up. Lexa could swear she had hear a thump at the same time the man's jaw had slackened. She ignored that, though and kept approaching him until she found herself seated comfortably on the chair on the other side of the table.

Jason wanted to catcall her; however, he also wanted to live, so he bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from being stupider.

Lexa remained silent, staring at him. Studying him, perusing him.

Eventually, he began to stir on his chair. Those emerald eyes were too sharp, too engulfing.

"Aren't ya going to ask me something?" Jason inquired, tired of being the object of such dissection.

Lexa's face was unmoving. "Will you answer?" she asked calmly.

"Probably not." He replied.

"Hence my lack of questions." Lexa said and she kept on staring at him.

Under different circumstances, Jason would have enjoyed himself immensely by being nearly stalked by a beautiful woman, but right now, he was fidgety and edgy because there had to be a catch, there was always a catch. That FBI agent wouldn't spend the whole night just doing that. There was no way she would just stay there, piercing through his soul with those relentless green eyes.

"Don't you need a partner or something?" He pushed again. The silence was unbearable.

"Do I?" The brunette asked, quirking an eyebrow lightly.

"You pigs come in pairs, to have each other's back or something." He commented.

"I can handle on my own very well, but thank you for your concern."

"You don't look like a threat to me." The criminal stated.

"I don't have to, Mr. Smoldick."

He swallowed. His mouth was getting dry by the second.

Ferocious. That's the word that came to his mind. That woman was _ferocious_ and she didn't even need to try to show it.

More minutes passed. How many? He didn't know. His left foot was bouncing under the table and he had started to bite his nails nervously. He had expected more bickering from the agents, more shouting, even some beating as seen in the movies, but this hair-rising silence was getting to him and all kind of weird and scary scenarios were running through his mind. Perhaps any minute now she'd let some rabid hounds in and they'd feast off him. Perhaps a bomb would blow up behind him and he'd be torn into pieces. Or perhaps she would just take out her gun and shoot him in the nuts just for fun.

Then, something happened. The agent took a peek at her wristwatch and her eyes twinkled.

"Is there somewhere you have to be?" He asked, his anxiety was killing him.

"Maybe." Lexa replied coldly.

His mouth opened to whine like a baby when Lexa's cell phone rang.

She was grateful she had kept her device away from Anya that evening because it would have been quite embarrassing to have a distasteful ring tone in the middle of an interrogation.

"Yes? Is he ready?" She asked. "We'll be there shortly. Thank you."

Just like that, Lexa stood up and the corner of her lips turned up slightly. "Time to go, Mr. Smoldick." She announced.

Jason looked up at her and gulped. "Where? Where are we going?"

"You'll see." She walked up to him and moved her chin up, motioning him to get back on his feet.

He seemed unsure, afraid even, but he finally complied after a short while. She then placed herself behind him, reached for the door handle and gave him instructions to lead him to another room.

The brunette got ahead of him and opened the door. She moved away so he would step in and afterwards, she closed the door behind her.

There was a table, a couple of chairs and there was a large window that let them see through into another interrogation room.

Jason deduced they were on the side where agents and police officers witnessed the interrogation while they couldn't be seen. Right there he started to wonder what the fuck he was doing on _that_ side and why Lexa's expression was that of sheer amusement.

"Mr. Smoldick, I'd like you to meet your future cellmate." She said.

Jason eyed her and then his gaze fixated on the room that was no longer empty. A big man, no, no, a gigantic man had just entered the interrogation room and there were two agents and two police officers escorting him. His hands and feet were handcuffed and he was just… Terrifying.

His bearded face was covered in tattoos; his arms were as thick as the legs of a bear. His body was bulky and Jason sworn that man would be able to lift a fucking truck with his bare hands.

There was a permanent scowl on his face and the agents' and the officers' heads barely reached his shoulders.

 _Fuck._

The agents helped the man to sit down and his chair was strategically located right across from where Lexa and Jason were standing.

Jason gulped hard.

He had never seen a man like that.

"He's the fucking Yeti!" Jason uttered completely in awe and yes, on the verge of peeing his pants.

"Isn't he?" Lexa asked. "He could snap your neck with his pinky fingers alone."

The giant glanced up and Jason was convinced that his eyes were on him through the tainted glass. He suppressed a fearful whimper that threatened to escape from his lips.

"Would you like to know what he's here for?" The brunette inquired.

Jason shook his head several times, just in case.

"I'm going to tell you anyway." Lexa leaned against the wall, observing him carefully. "He is a sex offender. He prefers men, middle-aged men, just like you. Then, after he satisfies his darkest desires, he kills them in the most horrible way."

Lexa waited for Jason to process this tidbit of information, but he was trembling, and his forehead was peppered with sweat.

"He's a serial killer known as the 'Meat Lover'. Quite fitting, isn't it?"

"And… Why…Why doesn't he get his own cell?" Jason stuttered. For a moment Lexa worried he might get a stroke.

"Prison overcrowding." She responded dryly. "There aren't enough cells for everyone." She shrugged.

"You… You can't do that!" Jason spluttered, his heart wanted to get out of his rib cage. "He's going to kill me! He's gonna… He's gonna…"

"We'll do whatever we can to ensure your safety." Lexa promised. "However, it is prison and sometimes things get out of hand."

The huge criminal locked eyes with Jason through the glass, a deed that the shaky tiny man thought wouldn't be possible, and then he fucking winked at him and puckered up, sending chills down Jason's spine.

"Okay, okay!" Jason shouted, trembling miserably. "I'll talk, I'll talk! But please don't lock me up with that man, Please!"

Lexa walked towards the table, pulled out a chair and gestured him to have a seat. Then, out of nowhere (Jason wasn't sure, because his brain was malfunctioning), she got a piece of paper and a pen, which she offered him.

"Start writing your confession, Mr. Smoldick. I don't have all night."

* * *

After Jason was sent back to his temporary cell, Lexa returned to the interrogation room where the massive man was held captive. There were no agents there, no officers, only one bear-like creature seated snugly on the chair.

"So… Did it work?" He asked.

Lexa smirked. "That wink and those greedy lips begging to be kissed were worthy of an Oscar." She replied and began removing his handcuffs. "It took me everything I had not to laugh. I wish I'd had a camera with me to keep that image forever."

The man cackled, actually cackled, and Lexa thought that he was simply a huge and fluffy bearded otter.

"It must have been caught on tape, you know?" He said, pointing at the camera in one of the top corners of the room. "And you'd better have those seconds deleted or my reputation will be ruined."

Lexa smiled at him. "Ok, it will pain me to part with that scene, but I will do it for you, Gustus, because you have served the department well tonight." She extended her hand and he took it in a gentle handshake.

"Anytime, Commander. Anytime."

* * *

It was 3 AM and she was utterly alone at a 24/7 café that she was lucky to find near the hospital.

She was moving her spoon in the cup in circles, creating ripples in the brown liquid that threatened to spill at any given moment.

She could go back to the club and join her gang again, but she was burned out and she was not in the mood anymore. That phone call had spoiled her night out and there was no way to turn things around now.

Adjacent to her coffee cup was a plate full of crumbs that once had been part of a chicken sandwich that Clarke had eaten too quickly.

The blonde sighed, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

She had been celebrating with her friends for only an hour before her phone rang and Dr. Jaha's voice had pulled the plug of her well-deserved enjoyment.

There had been an emergency and one of the doctors of the night shift hadn't been able to make it, so they were understaffed and needed a hand. Well, two hands. And Clarke couldn't say no.

And there she was. Her friends were still probably dancing and drinking their ass off while she was digesting a sandwich with too much mayo and some black coffee that left a lot to be desired.

She should have gone home by now, but her stomach had decided to growl so loudly that it had made her jump before catching a taxi.

She finished off the bitter liquid and left some bills on the table, remembering exactly how much she need to pay and tip for her dinner… Breakfast?

She grabbed her purse and the hoodie she was still protecting with her life and walked out of there without paying attention to her surroundings, forcing her legs to walk at a normal pace.

 _Maybe next time,_ she thought.

Maybe next time she would be able to party like there's no tomorrow with the people she loved most.

Maybe next time she wouldn't have to get back to reality and see so much blood and broken limbs.

Maybe next time she would be in luck and return that unbelievably comfy hoodie she had become so fond of, and consequently, she would have the chance to meet that cute (hot) owner who was becoming some sort of a legend.

Yeah. Maybe next time.

* * *

It had been easy for Lexa to par her car right in front of the place since it was too damn late. Or too damn early.

She couldn't have been more mistaken when she thought her trick with Gustus would save up time so she would be free to do as she pleased.

Right after her very successful interrogation, Indra had asked her to do a report and to put it together with Mr. Smoldick's confession so they could add those documents to the file under his name.

No rest for the wicked, it seemed.

She needed sustenance. She had a headache due to the amount of mental activity she'd been subjected to and to the shortage of food that would provide her with the nutrients to keep her active. Therefore, she had resolved to stop by a diner or a café before going home. She didn't feel like cooking anything at that hour and she wasn't sure if she even had something decent to eat aside from ham, eggs, lettuce and cereal.

She stepped in and a young woman was there behind the bar, distracted by the cell phone in her hands.

"Hello," Lexa began; her eyes skimming through the options on the menu board. "I'd like a bacon bagel and a cappuccino to go, please."

The woman looked up and her eyes widened, with her mouth agape she just muttered a shy 'Ok' and started working on the order.

"N-name?" she asked, which was totally unnecessary, because duh, Lexa was the only person there.

"Uhm. Lexa." The brunette supplied anyway.

It didn't take more than two minutes for the barista to get her order ready.

"That'll be $8.99 please." She said, giving Lexa a plastic cup and a paper bag.

The brunette paid and put some coins into the tip jar, and as she was about to leave, a ring tone that sounded too familiar got the women's attention.

It was Game of Thrones Intro song and it was coming from a booth in the left corner of the café.

The barista frowned. "Someone must have forgotten it." She said, scratching her head.

"I'll get it for you so you can give it back in case the owner comes looking for it." Lexa offered.

"I think she might be still nearby." The woman commented. "A blonde was here a couple of minutes ago, she'd left just before you got here."

Lexa headed for the booth and took the cell phone. "I'll see if I can reach her." She hurried and exited the café, looking around in search of the forgetful lady. It wasn't hard to spot her because she was standing at the corner, probably waiting for a cab.

"Hey!" Lexa called, shortening the distance between them.

The woman didn't even take the hint. She was too immersed in her own world, waiting for a taxi.

Lexa jogged towards her, trying not to spill her hot drink in the process.

"Hey," she called again, once she was a couple of meters way from her blonde target. "Is this yours?"

The woman turned her head and looked as if she wanted to say something, but she didn't, although her mouth was visibly moving.

Lexa knitted her eyebrows, not understanding why the woman was so thunderstruck. She lowered her gaze and she saw she was holding a hoodie. A very nice hoodie. And all too familiar hoodie. The phone in her hand made a noise and she had a look at it and she was able to see a message in the screen that read: _Heyyyyyy Clarkeyyyyyyyy! Where r uuuuuuuuuuuuuu?_

Lexa's jaw loosened and she was rendered speechless as well.

Clarke thought her mind was playing tricks on her, because… _Fuck._ That woman in front of her had to be a hallucination. She resembled a certain someone she had laid her eyes on a few hours ago, but… No, it couldn't be.

The wind blew between them and Clarke picked up a scent in the invisible current.

 _That perfume_

 _Fuck._

The blonde's gaze fell onto Lexa's hands and she saw her own cell phone, but she also saw a plastic cup that had a name and, a heart next to it and a… phone number?

 _'_ _Lexa'_

 _Fuck._

 _Double fuck._

After a beat and after overanalyzing what was going on, their eyes finally, _finally_ met and the electric pull was so powerful, so earthshattering that they both felt the air had been kicked out of their lungs by the unstoppable force of destiny.

"L- Lexa?"

"Clarke?"


	8. The Invisible Threads of Destiny

Chapter 8

 **The Invisible Threads of Destiny**

The cell phone continued chiming with a series of messages, one after another, but they were utterly ignored by the two women who kept staring at each other in silence.

It was a cliché, of course: the stillness of time, how the world around them had seemed to stop and suddenly vanished. How Lexa was only able to see blue, a shade of blue tainted by hues of orange and yellow that came from the street lamps. How Clarke could only see the green in those eyes in front of her that were looking at her as if she were one of the faery folks. Intense green drawing her in, beckoning her with a wordless song.

Someone had to break the spell; someone had to say something because this, whatever it was, was becoming too overwhelming, too much.

"You're the one who held my hoodie captive." Lexa uttered after she managed to find her voice again. She hadn't known she was capable of losing it in the first place.

The blonde tilted her head a bit, without breaking eye contact.

"You're the one who didn't show up to rescue it." She said, a small smile playing on her lips.

Lexa raised an eyebrow, amused by the retort. "Well, I am here now and fortunately I have something to negotiate with." She finally looked down briefly at the cell phone in her hand before her eyes returned to the blonde.

"I see. It is a fair trade."

"It is."

Clarke could have sworn she had never seen such a gorgeous woman before. Despite the lack of sunlight, Lexa's beauty was unquestionable. A killer jawline, her fine cheekbones, those astonishing green eyes and her lips… _Dear God_ , those plump and sinful lips…

She blinked and cleared her throat, hoping her ogling had been overlooked. "Here." She said, offering the hoodie to its owner.

Lexa handed her the cell phone and once her hand was free, she grabbed her belonging. A barely-there smile was adorning her face.

"So…" Clarke didn't know what to say. What can one say in these cases? She was amazed at how easily her brain had apparently left town. She could talk to beautiful women and attractive men with no problem whatsoever, she was smooth, or at least she used to be. But somehow, Lexa's presence had the power to render her speechless.

"So…" Lexa echoed, because she couldn't do much right there. Clarke's glittering blue eyes were beyond this world, beyond this galaxy. And that striking smile… _Damn it_. She shouldn't be gawking, Lexa Woods does not gawk and she certainly does not get tongue-tied, like ever.

"What are you doing here out in the cold, Clarke?" She finally asked, getting out of her stupor. "Shouldn't you be partying with your friend Octavia until sunrise?"

"That was the plan all along, but my boss called me and I was practically summoned to Arkadia Hospital to help in ER, so I had to leave the party early."

"I understand what that's like."

"I met your friend Anya, though. She said something had come up at the last minute?"

"Yes. Duty called."

"FBI agent, huh?"

"That I am, Clarke."

The blonde bit her lower lip at that. Lexa made her name sound so… sexy. There was something about the way she pronounced the _k_ , or maybe it was just her elegant, yet enticing voice. Whichever reason may be, she felt compelled to look down at her own shoes, a shade of pink covering her cheeks.

"It's late," Lexa pointed out. "Would you like me to give you a ride home, Clarke?"

The blonde raised her face to look at her again. "Oh, no, don't worry, there's no need, Lexa. I can catch a taxi."

"I know you can, but you don't have to now. Please, I insist. I'd like to drive you home so you can get there safely."

 _Beautiful and a gentlewoman. Fuck…_

"Okay," Clarke caved. Why wouldn't she? "Thank you."

The brunette nodded and smiled softly. "This way then." She began walking towards the café, not before making sure Clarke was right next to her, coming along.

It was a crisp night and the air was getting even colder. Lexa noticed that Clarke was not wearing anything warm that could protect her from the weather, so she unwrapped her hoodie and offered to her.

"You must be cold, Clarke."

The blonde stopped walking and stared at her. Yes, she had been shaking a bit, she was dressed to rock a dance floor, not to wander the streets at night, but she hadn't minded. She had been too distracted by the woman next to her that she hadn't really paid attention to the trembling of her body.

"But…. I just got it dry-cleaned!" Clarke said.

Lexa blinked once, in disbelief. "And… Is that a logical reason for you to refuse to wear it and get frozen?"

"I… Well, no, but… I smell like hospital and I…"

" _Clarke_ " Lexa watched her, her piercing eyes weren't taking a _no_ for an answer.

"Fine." Clarke relented, accepting the hoodie back and putting it on. Its softness quickly provided her with warm comfort. Alas, it didn't smell like Lexa's perfume anymore. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Both women resumed their walking. Clarke's cell phone chimed again. Well, she was sure it hadn't stopped doing so since she got it back. Exasperated, she took it out of her pocket and decided to see what was so urgent.

There were dozens of texts from Raven, a very drunk Raven based on the spelling mistakes and typos. She was asking her where she was and was trying to keep her up-to-date on the party developments. She also made it a point to tell her about how hot Anya was and how bad she wanted to, in her own words, _do the Humpty Hump_ with her and to give her some Latina love. Clarke rolled her eyes at the messages and snickered. Then there was a video of a very playful and shirtless Lincoln dancing on the table as a present to Octavia.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, playing it.

Lexa turned, not meaning to pry, but Clarke's outburst brought her attention to the device.

"Is everything alright?" Lexa asked, intrigued.

"Take a look at this!" the blonde said, holding her cell phone up so Lexa could take a peek at the video.

Lexa's eyebrows shot up. "Okay… That's… That's something I never thought I would lay my eyes on."

"I can't believe Lincoln is dancing to 'Pony' song…" Clarke covered her mouth, laughing.

"I can't believe Lincoln is dancing." Lexa said and she started walking again. "He has two left feet as far as I remember."

"Oh, it's not that bad! His moves are not like Channing Tatum's but he has a very nice body, don't you think?"

"I guess he does." Lexa replied flatly. "I am just keen on a different kind of body."

"Really?" Clarke remained still, stopping all of a sudden. "What kind of body?"

Lexa didn't cease her walk. "Female." She said simply.

Clarke was sure her brain had imploded right there.

"Oh…"

 _Beautiful, a gentlewoman and gay, soooo gay… Fuck._

Clarke picked up her jaw from the sidewalk and literally jogged to catch up with the brunette who looked like she had not just dropped a bomb on her.

Clarke put her cell phone back into her pocket and made an effort to conceal the short circuit her brain was trying to get over at the moment.

It had been a while since she last had a crush on a woman. She was bisexual and she had never had a problem admitting it. She found some men and some women worth looking at. However, she couldn't help but realize what a terrible timing that was. She had a boyfriend, a stupid one, but a boyfriend nonetheless. Yet there she was, thunderstruck by this majestic woman who made her feel something indescribable in a short amount of time and who happened to be a lesbian. A really charming and probably out of her league lesbian.

Clarke's pensiveness made Lexa feel a little awkward. Had it been too soon to confess her sexual orientation? Had she thought Clarke would be more open and made a mistake by telling her? It was the 21st century, but still…

"Did my answer unsettle you, Clarke?" she asked in a wary tone.

The blonde furrowed her brows. She hadn't realized her silence could have been misinterpreted as a negative stance.

"What? Oh, no! Not at all, Lexa. Sorry, I didn't mean to zone out on you. I don't have a problem with that, I promise."

"May I ask then why you were absent-minded?" The brunette stopped to look at her in the eye. She wanted to make sure Clarke was not uncomfortable with her sincerity.

The blonde held her gaze and smiled. "I didn't not see it coming, yes. People are not used to being that open when making small talk, you know? And that got me thinking about the last time I fell for a woman…"

Lexa nodded once, in understanding, avoiding the strange sensation she had in her stomach upon hearing those words.

"I am bisexual, the very elusive and misconceived _B_ in our community. So there… I can't judge you for who you are, let alone reject you." Clarke's voice was full of honesty and gentleness. And her eyes conveyed the same, Lexa saw it, felt it.

"Good."

"Good."

Lexa retrieved her car key from a pocket of her jacket and pressed a button, deactivating her car alarm. Clarke turned and her jaw dropped for the third time that night.

"Holy shit!"

Lexa repressed a smug smile and walked towards the car to open the passenger door for her. A dihedral door that made the car look even more surreal.

"Are you kidding me?" Clarke moved forward, approaching Lexa with her mouth agape. "Is this my ride home? Is your last name Stark, as in Tony Stark?!"

"Actually, it's Wayne." The brunette couldn't contain a small smile then.

Clarke snorted and got in slowly, afraid of touching the car and somehow ruining its paint or any of its shiny parts for that matter.

"It won't bite you, Clarke." Lexa said, perceiving the blonde's hesitation.

"Are you sure?" The blonde asked coyly, sitting on the leather seat comfortably.

"It does not have that feature yet."

"It's a pity. I kind of like being bitten."

 _Clarke Griffin! What the actual fuck?!_

The blonde cringed at her own blatant jest. Well, it was not a jest, it was an actual piece of information about herself, but she was not supposed to say that! Apparently, 4 AM was the hour her mouth had decided to fly solo.

Lexa quirked one of her eyebrows. Her inner lesbian had actually squeaked at that and was fanning herself with an imaginary newspaper. But of course, externally, she remained nonchalant. She was really good at concealing her very, very gay thirst.

"I'll make sure to address that suggestion to the pertinent BMW department, Clarke." She said, closing the door and clearing her throat right after that.

Meanwhile, the blonde covered her face with her hands, completely embarrassed.

 _What the fuck are you doing, Griffin?!_

As soon as she heard the other door opening, she quickly composed herself and placed her hands on her lap. Why was it so hard for her to look like a sensible and collected woman that night? She inhaled deeply and released a breath that she hoped would let her uneasiness go.

Lexa got in, placed her coffee cup in the cup holder and started the car.

"So, where to, Clarke?" The brunette asked, waiting for the blonde's directions. The stereo was on and she turned down the volume to allow them to listen to each other's voices.

"I live close to Central Park, one block from the Lincoln Center."

Lexa looked a bit nonplussed. "I live nearby."

"What a small world," Clarke said, smiling. "I guess we were destined to meet sooner or later."

"I guess so."

Lexa grabbed the steering wheel and began to drive to their destination. She had already dismissed the idea of what people called 'destiny'. Nevertheless, what was happening, what had happened that night felt different. She and Clarke had met in the most unlikely scenario and sharing the space with her felt… Right, easy; perhaps even familiar. Whereas she herself was accustomed to being guarded around most people, the blonde's smile was disarming and it was not hard for her to play along with her kittenish banter.

"So, Lexa Wayne, what's the story behind this lush car?" Clarke asked, pulling her out of her self-absorption.

"I was trying to get myself a dragon, but I was out of luck." Lexa answered with a shrug. "Therefore, I had to settle for this black gem and named it Drogo."

"Huh… Riiight." Clarke snorted and chuckled.

"Actually, this is the only remnant of a wild phase I went through." Lexa spoke, her tone was serious enough for Clarke to sense that she was revealing a strenuous part of her past.

"Don't tell me you were the typical rich womanizer who had the world at her feet." The blonde commented with a lopsided smile, in an attempt to lessen the sobriety of the moment.

"I was, Clarke." Lexa said quietly. "I was all of that and more. It was a stage of my life I am not proud of; yet it happened and it made me who I am now."

Clarke seemed to understand and simply nodded. Her eyes lingered on the streets in front of them for a few seconds. She was not capable of picturing the polite brunette in such a way: relishing in one-night stands, using other women selfishly, throwing her money down the drain and maybe even drowning in a self-destructive lifestyle full of excess and luxury. She suddenly found herself eager to figure that woman out, to get to know not only that kind side of hers, but also her shadows.

"And who are you now?" Clarke asked, turning to study her face.

Lexa's jaw tightened. Her gaze never leaving the cement and brick landscape before her.

"I am a person who is trying to make amends with life and whose only desire is to make this world a less heart-wrenching place."

Clarke's soul shrank a little upon hearing those words. She had no idea what Lexa's life had been like; she had no idea how many gates of hell that beautiful woman had had to go through, but she sympathized with her, she understood the meaning of that statement. Her own hidden and untouchable sorrow was able to connect with hers, even if she was unaware of the facts of her personal story. Lexa's heart ached and that sort of pain was all too familiar to the blonde.

"And who are you, Clarke?" Lexa questioned. She had given away a piece of herself and she demanded a fair compensation.

The blonde sighed. Who was she indeed? She thought she knew the answer to that question; she thought she was the caring artist who felt everything so deeply that it sometimes hurt. She thought she was the loving daughter who cherished her family above all; she thought she was the loyal and outgoing friend who would do anything to prevent others from suffering. She thought she was many things, but the truth was, most of those notions had slowly faded away. A lot of things didn't make sense anymore and she had been swimming upstream to find herself once again.

"I guess I am someone who is willing to do anything to ease people's pain… Someone who wants to save as many people as she can because she knows what's like to be broken by a loss." Clarke's eyes stung due to the tears that were begging to be set free. She kept them at bay, though. The weight of her own confession was hardly bearable.

The red light at the intersection gave Lexa the chance to scrutinize the blonde's face. Her cerulean orbs were shining and brimful of melancholy. She too knew grief. She too had lost a piece of herself along the way.

"I apologize for that question, Clarke. It was not my intention to bring forth any painful memories."

The blonde shook her head. "No, don't worry. I was the one who asked you that in the first place. I may have overstepped."

 _Yes, you did, but I don't mind._ "No, you did not do such a thing…" Lexa pressed the accelerator at the green light. "I wouldn't have replied if I hadn't wanted to."

Clarke let out a mild huff. "This is … weird, don't you think?"

"How so?" Lexa didn't need to ask because she understood. She could feel that mysterious bond between them, like an invisible thread that made them attuned to each other's unvoiced feelings and emotions. It was daunting. It was… It was something she had never felt before.

"I mean… I had never shared something like this with anyone I had just met." Clarke droned on. "This is definitely not how I usually break the ice with someone, you know? We haven't even discussed what our favorite color is or what music we prefer… It's just… weird."

Lexa became quiet. If she agreed, if she acknowledged that, it all would become real and she didn't know what that would entail. Clarke felt more real than anything or anyone she had crossed paths with in a long time.

A rock song which Clarke didn't recognize was all the sound they both could hear aside from the subtle noise coming from the engine. After a couple of minutes, she decided to veer off the conversation. "Anyway… Are you excited about the new season of GOT?" Her voice was full of genuine earnestness.

"You could say that, yes." Lexa responded, relieved that there was a change of topic.

"Who do you think will be killed off this season?"

"Valar Morghulis, Clarke."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, and Valar Dohaeris, Lexa. But really, who do you think will die now?"

"Everyone is at risk on that TV show, but if Daenerys Targaryen doesn't sit on the Iron Throne, I myself will hunt down the producers and show them what fire and blood truly are."

Clarke chuckled at Lexa's passionate candor. "Spoken like a true Targaryen."

"And you must be a Stark I presume." Lexa glanced at her out of the corner or her eye.

"Of course!" Clarke winked at her. "I can't wait to see the Starks fighting together against the White Walkers!"

"Please! Daenery's dragons will melt them into a puddle first."

"We'll see about that…" Clarke smiled and then noticed they were almost there. "Turn right at the traffic light, please."

Lexa nodded and did what she was told. After a short while, the blonde pointed at a building on their left. "That's me."

The brunette parked the car in front of the building. She got out and walked around the vehicle to open the door for her companion. Once it was lifted, she offered her hand to help her out.

The moment their skin touched, Clarke jolted, but she successfully hid her reaction by moving her body forward as she exited the car. It was… electric. Thrilling. Lexa, on the other hand, swore she could feel stardust explosions running through her veins; a warm tingling spread from her palm throughout her body. That single touch had the power to raise goosebumps on her skin and to ignite a thousand fireworks.

"Thank you, Lexa, but you didn't have to help me to get out of the car." Clarke said, letting her hand go reluctantly.

"I didn't have to, but I wanted to." Was Lexa's short reply.

The blonde smiled and headed towards the entrance, wondering how could anyone be so perfect. Lexa followed suit, wondering why her heart was beating at full speed.

Once there, Clarke turned around and took off the hoodie. "Here, thanks again for saving my ass from freezing. That's twice this month."

Lexa received her precious piece of clothing and there was a kind smile on her face. "I am glad my ass-saving skills were of service to you, Clarke."

Clarke grinned ear to ear. She didn't like the idea of parting ways with Lexa so soon, but they both needed to rest. "Well… I should get going. It's too late…"

"Yes, it is." Lexa put her hands into her pockets, seeking some warm in the cold early morning.

"It was nice meeting you, Lexa."

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Clarke."

They stared at each other as they had done almost an hour before, enjoying their company and their comforting silence.

"I'll see you around?" Clarke asked, shyly.

"It is likely."

"Okay. Rest well, Lexa."

"You, too, Clarke."

The blonde smiled again and then turned around to enter the building.

"It's Woods, by the way, Lexa Woods." The brunette revealed, looking back at her for a moment.

"Griffin. I am Clarke Griffin." She said, holding her gaze while dedicating her a sweet smirk.

"May we meet again, Miss Griffin." Lexa proclaimed, walking backwards without breaking eye contact.

"May we meet again, Miss Woods."

And with that, the two women drifted apart to their own worlds, unaware of how deeply they had touched each other's souls; unaware of those imperceptible threads that stretched out and reached for each other, even in the distance.


	9. Canvases and Dragons

Chapter 9

 **Canvases and Dragons**

Clarke had forgotten to close the curtains and sunbeams were mercilessly teasing her face; well, half of it, because the other half was pressed against the damp cotton material. If she had drooled more, she would have drowned to death.

She's sure she would have groaned against the pillow. She would have, but she didn't. Why she was not cursing the morning sun was beyond her sleepy mind. She felt strangely chirpy despite her current condition.

She was awake enough as to reposition her face on her other pillow, because _ugh_ , her saliva stain was a bit disgusting. As soon as she moved, she realized she had not changed her clothes. She was still wearing her 'fuck-me-on-the-dance-floor' attire from last night. Apparently, she had been too exhausted to do anything else but to plop down onto her unmade bade and fall asleep immediately.

One of her eyes cracked open despite the sunlight.

 _Last night…_

 _Green. Green. Green…_

She was suddenly utterly awake.

She rolled over and stared at the ceiling, her eyes were lazily adjusting to the light in the room.

She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was almost 10 AM. She had barely slept five hours, but somehow she felt oddly… refreshed. Refreshed enough to not be her morning grumpy self.

She knew she could spend the day in bed if she chose to, it was a day off after all; however, her body seemed to have a mind of its own because she found herself getting up in no time and opening a window to let cool air sneak into her lair.

Last night…

Had it been a dream?

She hoped it hadn't.

She raked her eyes over the tree line of Central Park.

Lexa was there, somewhere, close to her and that notion made her feel tingly and fluttery and she hadn't even had her dose of caffeine that day yet.

 _Your pubertal timing is over, Griffin, get a grip of yourself!_

She huffed and decided to stop thinking about those mesmerizing eyes and that sultry voice. It was not right. Those thoughts were uncalled for and completely ridiculous. Lexa had been kind and thoughtful and here she was, daydreaming about her and basking in the memories of her brief encounter.

She was both relieved and frustrated about not having asked her for her phone number. Relieved because if she had, she would have appeared too eager to stay in touch with Lexa, and she wasn't, (right?); and she was frustrated because… Well… She had no idea whether she would see her again.

Ok, she was likely to see her again. They had friends in common, and based on the texts she had received, chances were that Raven and Lexa's friend, Anya, would hook up in the near future, and that meant she would have the opportunity to run into her at least once more. Unless things between her deranged friend and Anya didn't work out and then…

Clarke sighed and decided to shake those thoughts off. It was pointless to worry about that now.

 _What's meant to be, will be._

She looked for her phone and dialed a number.

She was undeterred to make the most of that unexpected Sunday pep.

"Luna? Yes, good morning, this is Clarke… I was wondering if we could begin the classes today…"

* * *

Lexa took off her sunglasses and opened the front door. She was a bit disconcerted to notice the front yard was completely deserted. At this hour on Sunday, boisterous kids would be roaming around the place and their giggles would be resonating all over the street. But there she was, in simple blue jeans and a white v neck t-shirt, waiting for the habitual noises that children would be making on a sunny day like this and the only things she could hear were the cars roaring on the streets and the cawing of some birds.

She had gotten up at 9 AM and had gone running as usual, despite her sleep deprivation. She had gone to bed at about 5:30 AM; too wired to fall asleep and she couldn't pinpoint why. It had absolutely nothing to do with those sparkling blue eyes she'd come to know by the end of the night. Of course not. That was inconceivable. So, right after waking up, she had taken off to Central Park hoping to appease her restless mind.

Now it was almost noon and she really wanted to see how things were going at Polis Shelter. She also needed to talk to Luna to let her know the construction of the new area would start the following Wednesday and there were some guidelines they would have to discuss before that messy undertaking.

She was about to enter the building when something caught her eye.

She walked towards the painted walls she hadn't had the time to look at and a smile tugged at her lips. So, that was the new teacher's work. She approached slowly. The painting was incredible. All those beautifully mixed colors and shapes. And yes, the kids had done a great job as well, and their own innocent art stood out, but altogether, the mural looked lively and worth cherishing.

Hiring that teacher had been a good investment, after all.

"Hey, Lexa!" Luna greeted her mirthfully when she saw the brunette standing there. She had heard the front door being opened and had gotten out of the building to welcome the brunette.

"Hello, Luna. Where's everybody?" Lexa asked, coming up to her. "I thought kids would be wreaking havoc outside."

Her friend snickered. "They were, but I think we've found the perfect way to tame the little monsters."

"Oh? Please, do share."

"They're upstairs, in the art classroom. They're taking their first painting lesson." Luna beamed. "Since you were busy, I took the liberty to set up the space and get everything ready. The new teacher called and she said she had time to be with the kids today for a couple of hours."

"I see… And what time does the class finish? So I can go there and meet the teacher to make sure she didn't get traumatized in the process."

Luna chuckled. "It'll end at one o'clock."

"Great. That gives us plenty of time to talk about the refurbishment of the shelter. Shall we go to your office?"

"Sure, and you can tell be all about your new endeavor to save the world, agent…"

Lexa rolled her eyes and smiled lightly before they walked into the shelter and headed for the secluded room.

* * *

Lexa approached the door leisurely, trying to listen to the sounds that were muffled by the thick walls. There was little noise, almost no noise at all, except for some delighted squeaks that some kids let out from time to time.

And then, there was this voice… This hoarse and familiar female voice…

Her heart began pounding erratically, like a wild stallion galloping across an open field.

She knew that voice… But… It couldn't be…

When she reached the glass panel door, she looked through the small pane and her heart slid up her throat.

Clarke Griffin was standing there, in front of a canvas which was full of colorful flowers and some trees. She was smiling and giving directions. The kids were not precisely painting, they were drawing and coloring some doodles that the brunette thought were euphoric attempts to art creations.

Lexa held her breath for a moment. Clarke looked radiant. She was wearing casual clothing, a pair of jeans just like hers, and a white t-shirt with the emblem of house Stark, but she looked more striking than she remembered. Maybe it was because the blonde was truly enjoying herself by teaching the kids and that made her glow, truly glow. Whenever she walked around the classroom, admiring the children's work, she looked like she was floating and leaving sparks on her trail. She praised them and encouraged them at every step. Her golden hair cascaded and sometimes hid her kind features and Lexa felt the urge to walk in and tuck it behind the blonde's ear so she could keep looking at her and appreciate her beauty.

As soon as that image crossed her mind, Lexa stepped away from the door and leaned against the wall. She shouldn't be thinking in such a way. It was not right.

She did her best to gather her thoughts and inhaled deeply, then she released the air in her lungs and willed herself to relax.

This was supposed to be easy. She had always been surrounded by attractive women. She would be civil, she would walk into that room and act like the reasonable person she was and she would introduce herself as the owner of Polis and welcome Clarke as part of her staff.

Simple.

* * *

It turns out, simplicity was overrated.

Once the door opened with a soft click, the kids spotted her and the little ones ran up to her, greeting her enthusiastically and clinging to her waist and legs.

"Lexa!" they proclaimed. Their crayons and colors long forgotten on their school desks.

"Hello, kids" The brunette managed to pat some of them on their backs affectionately while she was being squeezed tightly. Then, her eyes inevitably sought Clarke's and their gazes locked.

With her jaw hanging, Clarke blinked several times in disbelief. Was she hallucinating? She had to be. Perhaps the lack of sleep was finally taking its toll and her brain had begun to conjure up visions.

"L-Lexa?" She asked warily. The woman by the door looked exquisite. How someone managed to look so stylish and gorgeous wearing a simple pair of jeans and a humble t-shirt was beyond her understanding. She had an intricate tribal tattoo on the right arm which made her look even more captivating.

The brunette opened her mouth to say something, but before the words came out, Luna made her appearance right next to her.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, Emori and I had to set the table." She apologized. "Children, let Lexa breathe, return to your seats, please."

The kids obeyed immediately, including Aden, who had been standing there, waiting for Lexa to acknowledge him. And she did, nodding her head once at him with a small smile plastered on her face.

Green met blue once again and Clarke realized she was still gaping.

"I'm not too late to introduce you two, am I?" asked Luna, her eyes flickering between her friend and the blonde, who were apparently in a staring contest.

Since none of them replied, Luna cleared her throat and carried on with her preamble. "Clarke, this is Lexa Woods, the founder of this shelter."

"Actually, Luna, we've already met." Lexa declared. Her voice chords were working at last.

"Yes, we have." Clarke confirmed, still a little rattled. "Although I didn't know she ran this place."

"Oh, okay… Well, I'm glad you know each other then." Luna said, curious to ask them how that had happened, but there were kids waiting for their chat to be over.

Lexa walked towards the blonde and offered her a hint of a smile. "Hello, Clarke. We are pleased to have you here. I've just seen your work on the outside walls and it is marvelous."

The blonde's face turned beet red all of a sudden. "Uhm, thank you… It is an honor to be here. I am grateful for this opportunity."

Luna turned to the kids. "How was your class, children?"

"Awesome!" They answered excitedly in unison.

"Great! And what do we say to the teacher?" Luna asked, expecting them to show how well-mannered they were.

"Thank you for the class, Miss Griffin!"

Clarke chuckled, sincerely moved. She felt a very warm and gratifying sensation running through her body. "You're welcome, kids. I really had a lot of fun and I look forward to our next class."

Lexa looked at her and didn't miss the sincerity in her words and the gentle gleam in her eyes.

Clarke was like the summer breeze and the soft flower petals blooming in a peaceful meadow.

"Lexa, Clarke, are you joining us for lunch?" Luna's question pulled the brunette out of her daze and she felt embarrassed because of her brief Shakespearean moment. When had her mind turned into a cheesy rom com script?

Lexa blinked and then her gaze was drawn to Clarke like a magnet. The expression on the blonde's face was dubious, and Lexa herself felt somewhat reluctant to accept the invitation as well. She did want to spend more time with the kids, it was just that… certain guest made her feel on edge and she was not used to that sensation anymore.

"I am not sure if I –

The brunette's excuse was cut in by the kids' adorable pleas.

"Lexaaaaa, Miss Griffiiiiin, have lunch with us, pleaseeee?"

Clarke mustered a smile at their antics. "Do you really want to share your lunch with me? I mean, I kinda eat a lot, you know?" She teased.

"Pleaseeee, Clarkeeeee" Trish pleaded. "It's Lexa's treat anyway!"

Luna and the blonde snickered at that and Lexa raised an eyebrow, trying to look offended, but failing.

"There'll be ice-cream, too." Luna added playfully.

"Oh, then, how can I say no to ice-cream?" Clarke said. Her eyes looked for Lexa's and the brunette caved.

"Okay. We'd be happy to stay for lunch." Lexa announced and the children let out a whoop of excitement.

* * *

Lunch had been nice, great even. Clarke was sitting next to Trish because the little girl had practically dragged her there and didn't want to let go. Lexa was nestled across from them, seated between Aden and Luna. Emori was going back and forth, carrying plates and serving dessert to the greedy kids who had insisted on getting seconds.

Most of the time had been spent eating and exchanging a few words among them, but Clarke and Lexa also had spent some time stealing discreet glances at each other, at least they thought they had been discreet, but Luna's radar had picked up on their not so subtle dalliance.

"Take her picture, it'll last longer". Luna whispered in Lexa's ear when Clarke was distracted by a very threatening Trish who was aiming at her with a spoonful of chocolate ice-cream.

Lexa's body jerked and she clenched her jaw uncomfortably.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Luna." She defended.

Luna snorted in her napkin. "Of course… I mean, she _is_ cute, I'll give you that."

"She is." Aden chimed in, smirking. That kid was too clever for his own good.

Lexa grabbed her glass of water and took a sip, slapping herself mentally for having been blatantly obvious to them.

Luna hid her giggle behind her napkin. Oh, she was going to have so much fun with that piece of information now.

"I think she likes you back." Aden commented.

"I do not like her." Lexa retorted. She thought about throwing her remaining ice-cream at Aden's face, but she would lose her infamous coolness, so she abstained.

"You totally do." Luna insisted.

Lexa decided to play along. "Are you jealous, Luna?"

The Polis caretaker gaped at her. She certainly did not expect that comeback from Lexa.

"What?... No!" She said a bit too emphatically.

"Because if you are, I totally get it." Lexa winked at her, feeling too smug and pleased with herself for having been able to divert the conversation.

Luna's cheeks turned scarlet and she swatted Lexa's shoulder not so softly. "You're so full of yourself, Lexa."

"And I happen to control your paychecks as well." The brunette said triumphally.

Luna scowled at her while Aden chuckled lightly.

"You should be thankful I can't give you a piece of my mind in front of the children." Luna said, turning her face from Lexa.

"I am glad to see your parents raised you well, Luna." Lexa said. "Now, if you excuse me, I'll go and check on Emori to see if everything is under control." And with that, the brunette stood up and disappeared behind the kitchen door, completely unaware of Clarke's untiring gaze on her.

Once in the safety of the kitchen, Lexa felt her body slacken. She was angered with herself. She had let her guard down and not only had she crossed the line by staring at Clarke, but also she had been busted by a snooping Luna and a smartass kid.

She had to stop. She had to stop whatever she was doing, or feeling, or… Yeah. Just stop.

"Finally, someone took pity on me!" Lexa heard the desperation in Emori's voice.

Oh, yes. Emori.

"You seem to require some assistance." Lexa said, approaching the woman who was doing the dishes and was nowhere to finish.

"Luna was supposed to help me, but since you and the new teacher are here, she has been more invested in PR than anything."

"Leave this to me, Emori. You can clear the table while I take care of this."

"Neat!" Emori didn't need more encouragement and she left the kitchen in a hurry.

Lexa looked at the mountain of dishes before her and sighed. At least this was better than acting like a school girl and being mocked for it.

She set to work and was about to wash her first plate when she heard a voice coming from behind.

"Need any help?"

Lexa closed her eyes at that sound. The universe was getting a kick out of her predicament. She realized there, with her hands holding the kitchen item that she didn't have any excuses to come up with to avoid the blonde's presence, unless she left her there with the dirty assignment, but that would be plain rude.

"Clarke" She said, turning her head to look at her. "Thank you, but there's no need for you to help with these chores."

"I know, but I want to. It's the least I can do after the free lunch I enjoyed." Clarke walked towards her and stood there by the sink, next to her. "Besides, you will finish sooner if I give you a hand." As soon as those words came out, the blonde winced internally at her awful pun manufactured by her very, very treacherous mind.

 _Great, Griffin, just Great! Offering a hand to the smoking hot lesbian. Throw in your tongue and make it an all-inclusive lesbo combo._

Lexa didn't' even flinch. Clearly, Clarke was the only one around who had to get her mind out of the gutter.

"Alright, Clarke." Lexa relented. It was either that or kick her out amicably. "I'd be grateful if you could help me to dry the dishes so Emori can put them away."

Clarke cleared her throat. "Sure." She said with a crooked grin. She took the kitchen towel and waited patiently for Lexa to give her the plates. Her eyes then focused on those soapy slender hands that were carefully holding the dishes. They looked so strong, yet soft, and she began fidgeting absent-mindedly with the piece of cloth she had just found.

The blonde hadn't realized she had a hand fetish up until that moment.

She bit her lower lip and immediately tore her gaze away from those elegant long fingers.

"This has been unexpected." Clarke commented, venturing to initiate a conversation.

"Yes, it has." Lexa agreed, giving her a kind smile while handing her the first clean plate.

"Not only are you here, but also you're my boss." Clarke shook her head lightly, smiling. She dried the plate and placed it on the kitchen counter.

"I am no such thing, Clarke. You are not here to take orders from me. I would rather see this as an arrangement for the children's benefit." Lexa explained.

"Oh, but you are my boss, technically. You are financially responsible for all of this, aren't you?"

"I am, but Luna is the one who is actually here, so she's the one you will be putting up with." Lexa said almost teasingly.

"I see, you are the behind-the-scenes hero…" Clarke winked.

"I am no hero either, Clarke." Lexa scoffed.

"You are to these kids." The blonde insisted. Her eyes shimmered with awe and warm-heartedness. She truly meant that.

Lexa stopped what she was doing for a second and looked at her. "It is not my intention to become one. Still, I appreciate your kind words, Clarke."

The blonde was going to speak further, but the noise of a door being slammed made her jump and she almost dropped the plate in her hands.

"Yay! More help!" Emori chirped, carrying more plates and cutlery. She was also bringing in some glasses. She could surely get a job in a circus as a juggler, Clarke thought. "Hey, aren't you the new painting teacher?"

"Yes, I'm Clarke."

"And I'm Emori, the jack-of-all-trades at Polis Shelter. Right now, the kitchen slave." She said, placing all her load on the kitchen table.

Lexa shook her head, amused. "I don't remember you being this whiny on payday."

"Of course not! I save my grumpiness for the rest of the month." Emori grinned.

Lexa rolled her eyes and Clarke chuckled. She could really get used to that place.

* * *

After Emori turned up in the kitchen, Clarke didn't have the chance to carry on with her talk with Lexa. The caretaker assistant was quite loquacious and she had started rambling on about herself and how she had gotten to Polis and how in love she was with those 'adorable brats'.

Some time passed and finally both Lexa and Clarke were free to go. The kitchen looked neat and tidy and Emori bid them farewell because she had to go to the front yard to keep an eye on the kids.

Luna had also announced she would be tied up with the same duty, so she had walked with them to the main entrance to see their departure.

Emori shouted Luna's name and the caretaker said goodbye to them in a rush, striding away to find out why her colleague sounded as if she had stepped on a Lego.

Thus, Lexa and Clarke found themselves standing there, ready to leave when an overjoyed Trish ran up to them and held up her hand, offering Lexa a piece of paper with a drawing on it. Her dear drawing, courtesy of Clarke's first lesson.

"Lexa, I made this for you!" She beamed proudly.

Lexa accepted it and gave her a sincere smile. "Thank you, Trish, it is a lovely…" She knitted her brows, studying the illustration. She couldn't make heads or tails of it even though she was really trying.

Clarke giggled and then she pretended to sneeze, but the noise came out like a 'rabbit' disguised utterance.

"…bunny." Lexa finished, grateful for Clarke's merciful clarification. "A very lovely bunny."

Trish seemed satisfied with that and a huge toothy grin was the last thing they saw before the kid happily jumped away.

The blonde sniggered at the very dumbfounded Polis founder. "I can't believe you couldn't tell it was a bunny, Lexa."

"Forgive me, Clarke. I didn't know bunnies had fangs and five fluffy legs." She deadpanned.

The blonde shrugged. "Art is all about perception."

"Right."

"Isn't there a quote the says: "Bunny is in the eye of the beholder?" Clarke said coyly.

Lexa quirked a brow at her. "I believe it is 'beauty', Clarke, not bunny."

Clarke's laughter made Lexa scoff and roll her eyes. That woman was something else.

"Anyway…" Clarke finally composed herself. "You should definitely have a t-shirt made with that image and wear it to work. You'd look cute in it."

"I will give that some thought." Lexa said, fighting off a smile.

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek and began wondering what it would take for Lexa to let herself go and smile, to truly smile like the Cheshire cat, or to even laugh without a care for the world. And most importantly, would she be the one to get her to do that, to accomplish that feat? She wanted to. She really wanted to. And she was more than willing to find that out.

"Are you going back to your place, Clarke?" Lexa asked, making her come back to reality. "I would offer you another ride, but I'm afraid I didn't bring my car today."

"Oh? Are Sundays the days you have decided to give up your glossy chariot and walk amongst us, humble mortals?" Clarke teased.

There was a mild scowl etched across Lexa's features. "Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke."

The blonde cackled at that sour retort. "It was a joke, Lexa, loosen up! I know you're not a total snob."

"Thank you?"

The blonde smirked. "And well, to answer your question, I was planning on going back home, but…" She let out a shaky breath. "If you have some time to spare, do you want to get a cup of coffee with me? It's on me."

Lexa tilted her head, watching her attentively. "Isn't it too soon to butter your _boss_ up, Clarke?"

Clarke clutched at her chest, pretending to be offended and glared at the brunette. "How dare you!"

Lexa's lips stretched and Clarke was sure the brunette wanted to laugh right then, but she was too stubborn to let it show.

"First of all, you said you're not by boss, and second, I am in need of some strong caffeine and I thought you would make a decent company, but it seems I was wrong." Clarke said nearly pouting, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lexa squeezed her lips together. It was becoming very hard to contain a smile. An actual smile. She was torn. She did find the invitation appealing, quite so. Clarke's presence was refreshing, and spirited, and…

 _Don't, Lexa. Tell her you've already made other plans. You promised to stop whatever this was. That girl is trouble, it would be unwise to-_

"I'd love to have a cup of coffee with you, Clarke." She blurted out all of a sudden. "And I know just the perfect place."

 _Really, Lexa?! Really?_

Clarke's expression relaxed and her arms slowly went back to her sides. A bright smile that reached her eyes was the most beautiful thing Lexa had ever seen.

"Let's go then, _boss_ …"

The brunette almost, almost rolled her eyes at her and she help the door open so Clarke could step out.

The blonde smiled kindly, appreciating the gesture. "You remind me of a GOT character every time you do that, Lexa…"

The brunette regarded her with curiosity. "Who?"

Clarke gave her a lopsided grin. "Hodor."

Lexa would have sported a huge sweat drop on her forehead had she been a cartoon character. "That was terrible, Clarke."

The blonde laughed out loud. "Thanks, I try."

Lexa joined her on the sidewalk and she led the way, shaking her head just for good measure.

"I can tell you're growing fond of me, don't deny it, Lexa." Clarke said simply, walking by her side. "I bet that by the end of this afternoon I will have earned myself a raise."

"Don't push it, Clarke."

* * *

The walk to the café had been short and pleasant. Lexa had asked Clarke how her class had gone and how she felt the kids had responded to it. The blonde had sounded happy when she shared her experience and Lexa knew right then that Luna had made a smart choice by hiring Clarke. Children would love her, perhaps they already did. It was not difficult to feel drawn to her caring and lighthearted personality. She would be a positive influence on them because she seemed to be able to spread joy and light wherever she went.

Lexa had picked out the perfect spot, Clarke thought as soon as she walked in. The façade of the café was nothing out of the ordinary; however, the inner walls were covered with dozens of drawings and paintings made on paper. The blonde's smile became wider as she was going over all the art her eyes could reach.

"Wow! How come I didn't know about this place?" she asked, wandering around the room, not really minding avoiding chairs and tables in her way.

"It is quite small compared to others and some people prefer the big coffee shops chains, perhaps that's why you had never come across it." Lexa pointed out, following her.

"And how did you find it?" Clarke questioned, still admiring the drawings posted on the rear wall.

"I read about it in a magazine once. To be honest, it is my first time here as well. I thought it would be fitting since you're an art lover."

The blonde turned her head and locked eyes with Lexa. "Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you. I love it."

The brunette mustered a soft smile. "I am glad you do. But you still have to contribute to the décor of these walls."

Clarke knitted her brows, confused. Lexa noticed and immediately gestured at a table in a corner. The blonde got the hint and she had a seat there and Lexa did the same, sitting across from her.

Clarke noticed that there were some table mats there, they were not common ones, though. They were actually made of paper and there was a pencil holder can full of colored pencils in the middle of the table.

"Go on, Clarke. Work your magic." Lexa requested. "That table mat is your canvas to do as you please with it."

Clarke's eyes sparkled with joy. "This is too good to be true."

"It is quite innovative, yes."

The blonde didn't waste any more time and took a colored pencil and began drawing. Lexa smiled and took advantage of her distraction to get the waitress's attention. The woman brought the menus and Lexa placed one of them next to Clarke, not wanting to disturb her concentration.

Nevertheless, the blonde noticed the new item next to her table mat and she looked up. "I don't see you creating your masterpiece, Lexa." She stated when she realized the brunette was perusing the menu instead of drawing.

"Oh, no. I think I'll pass. Drawing is not within my skill set, I'm afraid."

"You can't be serious, Lexa. C'mon, try to draw something easy… A dragon for example." She said mockingly.

Lexa scoffed. "If I tried to draw an animal I am sure it would end up looking like a chimera."

Clarke chuckled. "Well, that's an animal, Lexa."

The brunette rolled her eyes and kept reading the menu. Clarke stopped and put the colored pencil back into the can. She would finish that later. She then grabbed the menu and her eyes lit up. There were so many flavors to choose from she didn't even know what to order. And there was a pastry section and the pictures of cakes made her mouth water.

A beat passed and Lexa closed her menu. "Are you ready to order, Clarke?"

"I'm getting there… It's just, I am indecisive about the cake I want." She replied, biting her lower lip anxiously.

Lexa's eyebrows shot up in astonishment. "Do you still have room for more food, Clarke?"

"I wasn't kidding when I told the kids I ate a lot, Lexa."

"I am surprised. No one would have ever guessed…"

It was Clarke's turn to quirk an eyebrow. "Oh, did you say that because of my hot bod?" She said mischievously.

Lexa cringed at herself. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink.

 _Oh, you walked straight into that one, Lexa._

"No! What I meant was-

"You're saying I don't have a hot body?" Clarke pressed. She wanted to laugh so badly, flustered Lexa was a sight to behold.

"Yes! … No! I mean…" Lexa stuttered. She did her best to collect herself and she breathed in an out, lifting her chin (along with her dignity) a tried again. "You do have an aesthetically pleasing figure, Clarke."

The blonde grinned. "Smooth."

"I-

"May I take your order?" The waitress's arrival had been a bless in disguise and Lexa released a sigh of relief.

Clarke didn't miss it, but she decided to let it go. For now.

"I'm going to have a Frappuccino and a slice of chocolate cake, please." The blonde said, returning the menu to the woman.

"And for you, Miss?"

"I'd like some iced Chai tea, please." Lexa said and handed her menu back to the woman, too.

"Right away." The waitress sauntered away and the brunette wondered why on Earth she had agreed to spend part of her afternoon with the most devilish blonde in New York. Her menu was gone and she didn't have anything else to distract herself with. She was at the mercy of Clarke and her snarky cleverness (which wouldn't be a problem if she didn't find that somewhat endearing).

Lexa knew it would be impolite to avoid Clarke's gaze for the rest of their gathering, so she had to grab the bull by the horns and survive the afternoon unscathed. She looked at her and she was met by a pair of very blue eyes that had an unreadable glint in them.

"What you've done for those kids is amazing, Lexa." The blonde stated. She had wanted to tell Lexa since they were at the shelter, but she saved it for a moment when they could talk calmly without any interruptions.

"Thank you, Clarke. But there's still a lot to be done and every good deed seems to be outrun and outfight by some other people's acts of greed and selfishness."

"Yes, the world is fucked up, Lexa and sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get to see the end of this madness, but people like you doing the kind of things you do give us hope… Give _me_ hope, and that is worth living for."

Lexa felt her heart ache at those words. Her heart ached and constricted before those shiny cerulean eyes that were looking at her as if she were some sort of angel. She felt bare and undeserving of such high regard. For a long time, she had become lost her way and had been a careless egotistical moron, and even though she had come to her senses, she somehow felt she would never be able to live up to her deceased parents' expectations, nor Costia's.

She lowered her gaze, wishing she could be every bit as noble as Clarke thought she was.

The blonde immediately sensed her discomfort. "I don't know you, Lexa. I don't know what you've been through, but I remember somebody said once that the world is changed by small acts of kindness, one at a time… And that's what you're doing. Leave the past where it belongs."

"Would you like to know why I had the shelter built, Clarke?" Lexa asked propelled by an odd necessity to open herself to the woman in front of her.

The blonde simply nodded.

"I am an orphan myself. I lost my parents when I was too young to understand what life truly was. And I did it for those kids, yes, because I know what it is like to be alone in a confusing world, but I also did it for me because I thought my wounds would heal through them. So… You'll see, it was not a selfless decision. Not quite."

Clarke's shoulders slumped and sadness ran through her and seeped through her bones. She could relate, of course. She was doing exactly the same by becoming a doctor.

"So, by those standards, Lexa, I am selfish, too." She confessed. "I lost my father in a car accident some years ago, and that's the reason why I am working hard to be a doctor. I believe that by saving others I could also save the part of myself that died with him. Does that make me selfish? Maybe… Maybe, in the end, we're all a little self-indulgent when we help others because we seek to put our broken pieces back together through them. And you know what? It is ok."

Lexa looked into her eyes and _God_ , that woman was subjugating. Terrifying in her own sweet, irresistible way.

"You're right Clarke. We are what we are." Lexa said.

"We are _who_ we are. And that changes depending on our circumstances." Clarke added.

They stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity and their silent bond was broken off by the waitress who set their coffees and a piece of cake on their table.

Both women jolted and smiled at her.

"Thank you" They said in synch.

"You're very welcome, enjoy!" The waitress chirped and left.

"What are you going to do with the drawing Trish gave you?" Clarke asked, changing the subject to make the atmosphere less sullen.

Lexa had folded the paper and was carrying it around since she didn't want to crumple it by putting it into one of her pockets.

Lexa took a sip of her Chai. "I think I'll have it framed and put it on my desk in the office."

"Have her sign it. She may become a great painter one day, you never know." She said with a wink.

"With the new teacher she has, she might." Lexa retorted with the ghost of a smile in her lips.

Clarke snorted. "Flatterer."

"Always. And by the way, that reminds me… I would appreciate it if you gave me a list of the supplies you'll need for your classes. I will gladly take care of that and also of the material you brought with you today."

"Don't worry about today's material, Lexa. I had it at home, long forgotten and dusty. And the rest was provided by Luna."

"Alright then. Regardless, please make it a point to make the list or, if you prefer, I can give you some money so you can get it yourself. As you wish."

"Will do." Clarke said. The chocolate cake was beckoning her and she didn't want to resist it any longer, so she took the first bite and let out a satisfied moan at the taste.

"Oh my god, this is freaking delicious!" She exclaimed.

Lexa almost spewed out her tea when that sensual noise came out of Clarke's mouth. She discreetly grabbed her napkin and wiped her mouth.

"G-good." She managed to say once her throat and lewd mind had been cleared.

"You have to try this!" Clarke said, offering her a taste with her own spoon and holding it for her.

Lexa froze right there.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "What? Are you waiting for me to make an airplane noise and feed you like that?"

"I am not a baby, Clarke." Lexa deadpanned. "And that is… awkward."

"You don't share food with your friends?" Clarke inquired, amused.

"I only have two people I consider my friends, Lincoln and Anya, and we do not share our food with each other like that, it is unsanitary, Clarke."

Clarke chuckled and put the spoon down, defeated. "I was wrong, you _are_ a snob, Lexa. Let me get another spoon for you, you don't want to miss this."

Clarke raised her hand and the waitress was there in no time. She asked for another spoon and told her to sanitize it properly before bringing it over, which earned her a glare from Lexa.

"You said you only had two friends." Clarke pointed out shyly, poking her cake. "What about Luna? You seemed pretty close back there."

Lexa remembered the banter she had to endure and her face was on fire all over again. "We are not that close. We do get along, but most of our relationship is built upon shelter-related matters."

"Huh… I see…" Clarke said, unconvinced. That blush said otherwise.

Clarke's cell phone went off and she snatched it out of her pocket. She took a look at the screen and a snort came out. "It's my best friend, I have to take this."

Lexa just nodded and allowed herself to enjoy her Chai tea while she waited.

 _"_ _I thought you would hibernate today, Raven." The blonde said. "You must have passed out at some point during Octavia's party."_

 _"_ _I did, but hey, I'm up now and ready for the GOT episode at your place! I hope you haven't forgotten to get the beer and the popcorn. That's why I'm calling you. You know how I get the munchies."_

 _"_ _How can I ever forget that? Don't worry, Rae, I'll have the fridge full for you so you can empty it as usual. I'll do that after my meeting with my boss is over."_

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her.

 _"_ _Super! Wait, what? What boss?" Raven questioned._

 _"_ _The one who hired me for painting lessons and who happened to be the owner of the GOT hoodie. I'll explain later, Rae."_

 _"_ _No fucking way! Anya's friend? The hottie who sneaked out on us last night?"_

 _Clarke snickered. "The one and only."_

 _"_ _Clarke… Clarkey… You know how much I love you, right? You're my dearest blondie, the apple of my eye… My beastie bestie, my moon, my-_

 _"_ _Drop it, Rae, what do you want?" Clarke deadpanned._

 _"_ _Invite her to watch GOT with us and make sure sexy Anya tags along… Pleaseeeee?"_

 _Clarke scoffed. "I don't know, Rae, I-_

 _"_ _Pleaseeee? I would've scored with Anya if I hadn't puked just when she was about to kiss me!"_

 _"_ _Ugh, gross, Raven!" Clarke grimaced._

 _"_ _I need to make it up to her, please? And you won't have to pay for the beer and popcorn, I'll get them myself if you do this for me, yes? Yes? Yes? Please say yes, Clarkey!"_

 _The blonde held the bridge of her nose between her thumb and her index finger in clear annoyance._

 _"_ _Okay, okay… Just, please, stop talking… I'll ask her, but I make no promises, Rae!"_

 _"_ _Cool! And let me know if she's coming because god, I really want her to come…." The Latina snickered._

 _"_ _You're a perv."_

 _"_ _And proud! Talk to you later, Gryffindor!"_

Clarke hung up and put her phone away, offering an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that."

"No problem, Clarke."

The waitress made her appearance again and she put the extra spoon next to Clarke's plate.

"Thank you." The blonde said to her kindly before the woman vanished again. "Listen Lexa, my friends and I are having a get-together this evening to watch the first episode of GOT and I was wondering if you could join us, if you're not sick of me yet, that is."

Lexa tilted her head to the side and Clarke thought she looked like a bemused puppy. "I had already made plans to watch it with Anya at my place." The brunette supplied.

"She's welcome to come; actually, more than welcome…"

"How so?"

Clarke grinned coyly. "Raven, the one who called, has a big crush on your best friend and, allegedly, they kinda hit it off last night."

"Oh, I get it now." Lexa said cheekily. "Raven asked you to invite _me_ with the purpose of seeing _Anya_ again."

"Well… Yeah."

"So, I am just the incidental third wheel." Lexa said simply, containing a smirk.

Clarke's face turned beet red. "No! Not at all! Well, to Raven you would be, but… not to me." She stammered nervously, she knew how that had sounded and was desperate to fix it. She had considered inviting Lexa over while they were heading towards the café, but she didn't' know if it would be such a great idea. She blew out a quivery breath. "I was actually going to ask you a while back, but…"

"But?" Lexa pushed. She knew she was being just plain evil, but Clarke had already teased her too much and she wanted to even things out a little.

"But I didn't know how things would turn out," the blonde tacked on. Her hands had gotten fidgety and clammy. Lexa was having that effect on her and she wished she were better at pretending. "I didn't want to presume… I just was going to wait and see if this- "she signaled the space between them. "would go well…"

"And how are things going, Clarke?" Lexa inquired, watching her intently. It was nice to finally have the upper hand for a change.

The blonde held her gaze and smiled. "I think… spending time with you hasn't been that … unbearable."

"Good to know." Lexa said and took a swig of her tea without tearing her eyes away from her.

"Yeah." Clarke sipped her coffee and the brunette was able to catch a smile that reached her eyes. "Despite your fussy and regal attitude, I think you're all right."

"I guess I am getting better at mingling with you mortals." Lexa quipped.

"I guess you are."

That's when it happened. An unexpected and dazzling smile came to life on the brunette's otherworldly face. Clarke's heart soared and found herself mirroring the sight with her own lips. She knew right then that no other smile would ever compare to it and she would never get tired of witnessing it.

Sadly, it was a fleeting moment because Lexa's phone ringtone barged in and the brunette's eyes widened in horror. 'I'm sexy and I know it' song was loud and completely unforeseen, and Lexa practically yanked her device out of her pocket to make it stop.

Clarke's eyebrows nearly climbed up to her scalp and she could feel a laugh bubbling up her throat.

"I- No, just… Let me … Give me a second, Clarke." Lexa pleaded while an inclement blush spread her face and covered the tip of her ears.

The blonde squeezed her lips together to prevent herself from cackling because if she did, she would never be able to knock it off.

The brunette pressed the answer button and held her phone right next to her left ear. _"You are so dead, Anya. So, so dead." She threatened through gritted teeth._

 _Her friend guffawed. "What? Not a fan of your new ringtone, Lexa?"_

 _"_ _I don't know how you do it, but this is the last time you tamper with my cell phone."_

 _Anya snorted. "Unless you hide it in your underwear, I don't think you can guarantee it won't happen again."_

 _Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Just… Get to the point and tell me why you called. I am a little busy right now."_

 _Anya snickered. "Ohhh, please, tell me you're in a meeting with Titus, I can imagine the shock on his face when your phone when off."_

 _Lexa scowled. "No. I am with…somebody else."_

Clarke's eyes twinkled as she watched the brunette while she took another bite of her chocolate cake.

 _"_ _Somebody else, huh?" Anya narrowed her eyes and Lexa could nearly hear the cogs turning in her friend's head._

 _Before Anya jumped to an absurd conclusion, Lexa explained. "I am having some coffee with Clarke, the new painting teacher Luna hired for the shelter, so if you could shorten this call, I would be grateful."_

 _"_ _Wait, did you just say Clarke?" Anya asked, curious._

 _"_ _Yes, I did."_

 _"_ _The Clarke? Lincoln's friend?"_

 _"_ _Yes."_

 _"_ _Oh…" Anya grinned wickedly. "The sexy blonde with a great pair of-_

 _"_ _Anya!"_

 _"_ _-eyes. Jesus, Lexa, what did you think I was going to say?"_

 _The brunette clenched her jaw and turned her face so Clarke wouldn't be able to see her cheeks burning._

 _"_ _Oh my, what were the odds…" Anya spoke in an undertone. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing with her, or to her." She snickered. "I wanted to let you know that I'll drop by an hour before GOT starts because there's a new lead in our case and we need to discuss that as soon as possible."_

 _Lexa decided to brush Anya's innuendo off and keep her conversation civil. "As a matter of fact, would you mind showing up a bit earlier? There's been a change of plans."_

 _"_ _What change of plans?"_

 _"_ _Clarke has invited us to watch the show at her place."_

 _Anya's disgruntled groan could be heard within a ten-mile radius. "Lexa…"_

 _"_ _Raven will be there."_

 _There was a pause and Lexa thought Anya had hung up._

 _"_ _I'll be at your place in two hours." Anya said curtly and then the line went dead._

Lexa scoffed and shoved her cell phone back into her pocket.

"So… you're sexy and you know it?" Clarke smirked. Of course she wouldn't let it go. Of course.

Lexa was sure she hadn't blushed that much like, ever.

"I would like to clarify, in case my death threat was not compelling enough, that it was Anya who chose that dreadful ringtone, not me." Lexa supplied. "She feeds on people's pain and distress."

Clarke laughed wholeheartedly. "You should've seen your face, Lexa! It was hysterical!"

"Does that stain upon my honor amuse you, Clarke?" Lexa asked with her typical stern face.

"Would it be rude if I said it does?"

"Very."

The blonde sniggered. "And I'm not even sorry…" She sipped her coffee nonchalantly.

The brunette shot a death glare at her. "I am starting to regret my decision to watch GOT with you."

"Too late, you've already compromised." The blonde shrugged. "By the way, what did Anya say about that?"

"She grunted and then ended the call, so she'll be there."

Clarke lifted an eyebrow at that. "Such a cheerful friend you have."

"She truly is a pocketful of sunshine." Lexa said sarcastically. "In fact, I am surprised she didn't loathe the idea of socializing with your friends this evening."

"You told her Raven would be there, do you think that was the deal closer?" The blonde asked, hoping Anya would be as moonstruck as her bosom buddy.

"Probably." Lexa replied. "Your friend must have made quite an impression on her."

"She said she'd thrown up in front of her when they were about to kiss, so yes, I'd say that." Clarke giggled.

Lexa's brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled in distaste. "What a peculiar way to woo a woman."

"Yeah, it's very Raven." Clarke smiled softly. "Wait until you hang out with her, she's the cheekiest goofball you'll ever meet, but she has a heart of gold."

Lexa took the last swig of her Chai tea, her eyes never leaving Clarke's and she seemed to be mulling over something those words had stirred in her.

"Clarke," She spoke. Her tone was solemn, as well as her posture. "I feel the need to tell you that Anya does not do relationships. Let's just say she's a free spirit."

"And you're worried she might end up hurting Raven…" Clarke finished for her. Lexa assented.

"Thanks for the warning, Lexa," the blonde said sincerely. "But Raven is a consenting adult and I'm sure she'll know how to handle the situation before it gets out of hand." Clarke shook her head, smiling lightly, she never thought she would use the words 'Raven' and 'adult' in the same sentence. "And I hope Anya makes her intentions clear to her, whichever they are."

"She will." Lexa confidently said. "She is tough, but she is a straightforward woman. She means no harm, even though people might be intimidated by her."

"Okay."

"And there's this other thing…" Lexa carried on. "I have accepted your invitation gladly, Clarke; however, Anya and I are not known for our outstanding social skills."

The blonde looked at her keenly. "Lexa, I don't expect you to be the life and soul of the party, so relax, ok? And you're doing just fine right now. I am really enjoying your company."

The brunette swallowed and tried to loosen her jaw. "I am not usually this… open, to anyone, Clarke." Once that statement escaped from her mouth, Lexa reprimanded herself mentally. She was revealing too much, too fast and nothing good would come out of it.

Clarke seemed to contemplate her admission carefully. "Why are you then?" She asked, well aware that Lexa could refuse to reply, but she was impulsive and headstrong, so she couldn't refrain herself.

Lexa should have anticipated that outcome, yet she found herself strayed. She didn't have the answer. She honestly had no idea why that part of herself, that buried and unrestricted part of herself was at full display before that woman. There was something about her, something about Clarke that made her feel… renewed.

"I don't know." Lexa responded because, what else was there to say? "It's you, Clarke. I have the feeling that's what you do to people; you make them feel at ease, am I wrong?"

The blonde smiled widely. "Have you just said I'm awesome, Lexa?"

The brunette huffed. Yeah, she should have anticipated that, too.

"My awesomeness was implied, don't deny it." Clarke beamed.

"I wouldn't go that far, Clarke." Lexa gave her one of her barely-there smiles.

Clarke didn't miss that tug at the corner of Lexa's lips and right there decided that that woman didn't need to smile wider, nor laugh earnestly. That very same gesture was capable of bringing people to their knees and of making flowers bloom in the middle of a harsh winter.

Her cell phone buzzed and the blonde jolted, annoyed by the undesired interruption. She offered Lexa an apologetic smile and tugged it out to check the message she had received. Her expression became somber immediately.

It was her boyfriend.

 _Finn: I miss you, princess_

Clarke almost threw her cell phone onto the table and it resonated with a thud.

Lexa watched the action and her crestfallen demeanor. "Are you ok, Clarke?"

The blonde let out a puff of breath. "It's… It's Finn, my boyfriend." She said, her voice dripping with discomfort.

Lexa remained quiet, a subtle nod showed Clarke that she was listening to her and that she intended to keep doing so if she cared to share what troubled her.

The notification of another message made got an eye-roll out of Clarke. Then there was another, and another. Four messages in a row and the blonde was ready to snap.

Lexa simply observed her stoically. She didn't know Clarke had a boyfriend. Then again, the blonde was smart, gorgeous, and kind, why wouldn't she?

At the fifth buzz, Clarke grabbed her cell phone angrily and read the texts in haste.

 _Finn: Please, Clarke, I need you._

 _Finn: I was stupid, can we talk, please?_

 _Finn: Princess, I am so sorry._

 _Finn: I am going start calling you until you answer me, or I'll drop by, I know you'll be watching GOT tonight._

When she read the last text, she surrendered. There's no way she would let him ruin GOT night and she didn't want to talk to him either, even if it was on the phone. So, she had to do something to stall him.

"I'm sorry, let me text him back, ok?" Clarke said, wishing she could fix this rapidly to get back to her former pleasant afternoon.

Lexa nodded again and her eyes began roaming the room, surveying the drawings that were on the nearest wall.

 _Clarke: Finn, I am busy right now and not ready to talk to you yet. I'll call you later to see if we can gram some lunch or something._

Clarke set her cell phone next to the table mat and hoped he would let her be. A few seconds passed and she got a new message.

 _Finn: Great, that's all I ask for. TTYL_ _J_

A smiley face? Really?

Clarke put her phone back into the pocket of her jeans and sighed.

"Done, sorry." She said, drawing Lexa's attention back to her.

"Is anything the matter, Clarke?" Lexa insisted. She didn't like seeing the blonde upset.

"Relationships are complicated." Clarke mumbled. "I can see why Anya keeps away from them."

"They are."

"I know I have to break up with Finn, but…"

"You don't want to hurt him." Lexa cut in.

"Yeah." Clarke bit her lower lip. The brunette had come to learn it was one of Clarke's quirks whenever she was distressed.

"I don't know him and I don't know what your story with him has been like," Lexa stated. "but I hope you do what's best for _you_ , Clarke, even if it causes hardship to others."

"That's the thing. I hate being the reason for people's pain. I am very protective of the people around me." The blonde confessed.

"I understand." Lexa said. Her eyes looked for the blonde's. "Do you love him, Clarke?"

"I… I don't know. I think I did…" She drawled.

"If you're uncertain about your feelings, you don't love him." Lexa claimed. "Love is definite, unquestionable. You just _know."_

Clarke looked at her and the truth behind the brunette's words was a like a punch to her gut.

"You must think I'm a clueless teenager now, huh?" She asked, feeling self-conscious.

"I don't. You said it yourself. Relationships are complicated. Two wills, two hearts, two different mindsets colliding and facing a world where emotions can sometimes be overwhelming."

"You sound like you are a love guru or something." Clarke commented, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

The brunette's jaw flexed tightly and Clarke could see how Lexa's body got stiff and how her eyes hardened. "I am not. Like Anya, I don't do relationships, Clarke."

That triggered a weird and foreign sensation inside of the blonde, whose stomach seemed to have bottomed out for an instant. "Why not? Are you a free spirit, too, Lexa?"

"Love is not a cage. That's not how I see it." The brunette lowered her gaze briefly and then she locked eyes with Clarke. "The motives behind my decision are different."

"Can I ask what those motives are?" The blonde asked, cautiously.

Lexa took a moment to gather her thoughts. The question was simple in principle, yet painful, private, daring. Only a few people in the world, in her world, knew why she avoided relationships, why she ran away from any feeling that would leave her exposed and raw. She didn't want to answer, she didn't want Clarke to take pity on her, or to be lectured about how many things she had been missing out by not letting herself take a chance on love once again. Perhaps, she simply didn't want to remember why she had chosen to walk her path alone.

Lexa had the intention to drop the subject, to digress, to blatantly deny Clarke's insistence; however, when she looked into those oceanic eyes, she felt her resolve crumble. The blonde's interest was genuine, her heart was earnest and empathetic. She saw all of that in them, and more.

"It wouldn't be fair, Clarke." She admitted quietly. It was almost a whisper. "It wouldn't be fair for anyone to be offered a scarred heart, and that's all I have to give."

That was the most heart-rending, soul-crushing, and beautiful confession Clarke had ever heard and her own heart felt like bursting and imploding at the same time. Lexa's downcast eyes were shimmering with unshed tears that she knew the brunette would not let emerge. Those amazingly green orbs were unguarded, filled with an old and unspoken sorrow that had taken hold of her gentle spirit and forced it to rise unsurmountable walls around it. The blonde felt both blessed and saddened, for she was being allowed into a fortress etched with secret longing and pain which she knew only a handful of people had beheld.

Clarke nodded once. There was a dainty curve to her lips. "It's ok, Lexa. It's ok to be shattered." She assured softly. "We can only be reduced to ashes when we have loved deeply. It is often the price we pay for being brave and giving everything we have. And if you need time to heal, it's ok, too. It takes as long as it takes."

Lexa swallowed thickly and she lifted her chin, making an effort to look unperturbed.

"Maybe someday, you'll wake up and you'll feel the desire to try again." Clarke continued. "Maybe someday, someone will come along and she will be able to sweetly tear down your walls and she will kiss your scars and see the beauty and strength in them. She'll teach you to dream again if you let her find you."

Lexa's words died in her throat. That someone Clarke was speaking of had been real. She had already met her and she was gone. Maybe true love was a once in a lifetime gift, and hers had withered and only the memories of it lingered.

She didn't say that, though. Clarke had already seen too much, heard too much.

"Excuse me for a moment, Clarke." Lexa said. The need for space and stillness was excruciating. She stood up and made her way to where she'd seen the ladies' room was.

The blonde had the urge to go after her, afraid that Lexa would leave, but she held back. Something inside of her told her that she would return and she had to respect Lexa's quiet demand for solitude. So, despite the pang of disappointment in her chest, she seized the colored pencil she had begun to draw with when they arrived at the café and carried on with a drawing she yearned to finish off.

Meanwhile, Lexa was leaning against the door in the small restroom. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was ragged. She had no idea of what to do with Clarke's words, let alone how to feel about them. She inhaled and exhaled until her heart beats slowed down to a normal rhythm. Then, she walked towards the sink, turned the water on and splashed her face with some of the cool liquid. When she was calm enough, she turned off the faucet and she looked at herself in the mirror.

 _Don't let this go too far, Lexa… Don't let your guard down._

Clarke's sheer understanding and acceptance of her wounds had pierced through her soul. She hadn't expected that. She had been completely unprepared for her, for her heavenly eyes, for her enchanting smile.

She braced herself on the edge of the sink and looked up, sighing.

 _Damn it, Lexa… You're stronger than this._

* * *

Clarke looked up when she saw Lexa approach out of the corner of her eye. She felt herself relax and she gave her an encouraging smile.

"Hey." The blonde said.

The brunette did the unthinkable and mimicked her smile. She sat across from her once more and didn't look away. "I apologize for leaving abruptly, Clarke."

"Don't worry, Lexa. I get it." Clarke set the colored pencils on the table. "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention."

"It's fine, Clarke. However, would you mind if we talked about something else?"

The painter offered her a lopsided grin. "Actually, we don't have to talk at all." She said, pushing the pencil holder can closer to Lexa. "Here, I forbid you to leave unless you've doodled something."

Disbelief spread across Lexa's face. "Clarke, I've told you how appalling my drawing skills are."

"Let's make a deal." Clarke proposed. "I will show you what I've drawn, or more specifically, _who_ I've drawn and you go the extra mile to create art on that table mat."

Lexa eyed her suspiciously. " _Who_ you've drawn?"

"I'll give you a clue." The blonde said coyly. "She's a cocky BFI agent and she refused to taste a chocolate cake, which, by the way, is now gone." She blushed lightly.

"You didn't." Lexa scowled.

"It was yummy."

"I was not talking about the cake, Clarke."

"Oh." The blonde snickered. "Sorry about that, though. I couldn't resist." She leaned forward and clasped her hands on the table, watching Lexa's features defiantly. "So? What's it gonna be, Lexa? Challenge accepted?"

"I can't believe you made a portrait of me. Why?"

"Why not?" Clarke retorted smugly.

"You didn't ask me to be your model, Clarke."

"Would you have said yes?"

"No."

"See? That's why I didn't ask." The blonde shrugged. "I like it. It is…powerful."

Lexa's interest piqued. No one had ever drawn her, and she would probably have been riled if a stranger had dared to do it, but this was Clarke and she knew firsthand how talented she was. Hence, she reluctantly acquiesced.

"Fine." Lexa said. "But you're not allowed to look until I tell you to, are we in agreement, Clarke?"

The blonde looked like she was mulling over it for a second. "Okay. I'll close my eyes then." She did as she promised and covered her face with her hands.

Lexa grabbed a black colored pencil and her right hand started to move on its own accord.

It took her less than a minute to finish and when she did, a hint of a smile crept onto her face.

"Task accomplished." She announced after taking the paper away to put it on her lap.

Clarke dropped her hands and opened her eyes, searching for Lexa's drawing. She frowned when it was nowhere to be seen. "Where is it?"

"Quid pro quo, Clarke." Lexa smirked.

The artist snorted. "Fine."

Both of them turned over their table mats so the other one couldn't see the drawing right away. They exchanged them over the table and once they were in their hands, the women hurried to flip the pieces of paper over to reveal the illustration.

Clarke burst out laughing as soon as her eyes landed on Lexa's work of art.

"You've got to be kidding, Lexa!" She exclaimed, shaking her head in skepticism.

The brunette, on the other hand, was rendered speechless.

Clarke had indeed sketched her, a part of her face only.

Shiny green eyes were enveloped by a black shade as if it were some sort of paint mask. Three dark streaks ran down on invisible cheeks below each orb, and although the drawing was quite simple, the expression in those eyes was fierce and relentless; yet, there was a glimpse of melancholy in them, which made them look profoundly soulful, almost unearthly.

The blonde was about to protest due to what Lexa had drawn, but when she discerned Lexa's stupefied poise, she desisted.

"I… I hope you like it." She stumbled bashfully. "That's war paint. Don't ask me why I put it there, it just felt right."

Lexa cast a glance at her and her attention was back on the drawing again. "A warrior…" She murmured.

"Yes. You are a warrior, Lexa." Clarke said with conviction. "I could see that from the moment I laid my eyes on you." She smiled shyly at that and wondered if she was crossing the line, again. "You are a gentle and thoughtful soul in a badass wrapping." She added to lighten the energy they were flanked by.

Lexa looked at her with her mouth slightly open. "I don't know what to say but thank you." She said softly. "Thank you, Clarke. I love it."

The artist smiled broadly and searched Lexa's eyes for any sign of uneasiness, but she came out empty-handed.

"Now," she said, peeking at Lexa's table mat once more. "As for your… _drawing_ , if we can even call it like that…"

"What, Clarke?" Lexa gave her a conceited half-smile. "Don't you _fancy_ it?" She knew the English term would make her remark more pompous.

"You're a cheater, Lexa." Clarke scoffed.

"I am no such thing, Clarke." The brunette argued. "That is a drawing. One of my best I'd say."

Clarke glared at her, there was not indignation in her eyes, though. "Smarty-pants." She snarled.

Lexa shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"Here's the piece of chocolate cake to go you asked for." The waitress's voice butted in, addressing to Clarke and placing a plastic container on the table.

"Jenn," Clarke said, reading her name badge. "I want your opinion on something." She held up Lexa's table mat and showed it to her. "Is this a drawing? Be honest, your tip is not at stake here, I promise." She grinned. Lexa's eye-roll didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.

The waitress had a look at it and she narrowed her eyes slightly.

In the center of the table mat was a dot. Yes, a dot. It had two short curved lines attached, one on the right and one on the left, and at the top of the dot, there were two petite vertical lines that resembled horns. Above it was an arrow pointing at the "drawing" and the letters that read: This is a dragon seen from afar.

That was it. Oh, and Lexa's name was signed at the bottom right corner.

"Uhm… It is a microscopic dragon?" The waitress provided, warily. "With a lot of imagination, that is."

Clarke glared at Lexa who lifted an eyebrow at her in a vainglorious expression.

"See?"

It was time for Clarke to roll her eyes and she decided to drop it, defeated. "Thank you, Jenn. Could you bring us the check, please?"

"Certainly." She smiled and she was gone.

"You are unreal, Lexa" The blonde said dryly.

"I kept my word, Clarke. I don't see why you're so cantankerous about it."

"Cantankerous? Oh my god!" Clarke cracked up. "What kind of person uses that word?!"

"Only smarty-pants, apparently."

Clarke's mouth moved but no sound came out. Lexa chuckled airily, she actually chuckled and the blonde felt her stomach do a somersault.

The waitress came back and left the check on the table, Lexa reached for it but Clarke snatched it first. "I said it'd be my treat, Lexa."

The brunette looked unconvinced, but those blue eyes were adamant. "Thank you for the tea and for the pleasant afternoon, Clarke."

"You forgot your slice of cake." The artist said, pointing at the container close to her.

"True. Thank you for it as well."

"You're welcome, Lexa. I enjoyed myself a lot." Clarke smiled and felt the warmth of the statement spread through every fiber of her body.

"You've been very attentive to me today, Clarke, but I would like to ask one more thing from you." Lexa announced politely, yet her voice sounded a little coy.

"Sure, what is it?" The blonde asked, intrigued by that hint of demureness.

"I know it is customary for this place to keep people's drawings and put them up on the walls, but I was wondering if you would let me take it with me." Lexa requested, holding the illustration with great care.

Clarke knew that petition was a compliment to her and she felt giddy because Lexa had liked what she had drawn. "Of course, I'd love you to have it."

Lexa smiled fully and Clarke thought that that single gesture would be enough to power the entire city of New York. It was light, pure, ebullient light.

"Thank you, Clarke."

The blonde could have kept admiring those endless shades of green in Lexa's eyes for the rest of her life, but she knew that was not a possibility and if she spent one more second doing that, Lexa would surely call her a creep or issue a restraining order against her.

"Well… We'd better go." Clarke willed herself to say. "I need to pick up some stuff at a convenience store and clean up my apartment for _your highness_ to drop in."

"Don't forget the red carpet, Clarke." Lexa teased.

The blonde scoffed, left some money on the table and rose from her chair. Lexa stood up and took the cake container and both Clarke's and Trish's drawing. She began walking towards the door and Clarke seized the opportunity to snatch the "drawing" Lexa had made, folded it quickly and put it into one of her back pockets of her jeans.

Lexa turned her head and Clarke pretended to be caught with some of the drawings on the wall.

"Clarke?" She called.

"Yeah!" The blonde replied, joining her in a beat.

The agent reached for the door, but Clarke stopped her. "Here, it's my turn." She said and held the door open for Lexa to exit.

The brunette gave her a light smile. "Thank you."

As soon as Lexa was outside, she noticed Clarke was still maintaining a grasp on the door and she was biting her lower lip, repressing a smile.

Lexa shook her head, knowingly. "Just say it, Clarke or you're going to burst."

"Hodor!" The blonde exclaimed, making her best personification of the bulky GOT character.

The FBI agent had to bite the inside of her cheek to refrain herself from laughing. Clarke had to be one of the most quick-witted and waggish people she'd ever met. That woman was so all-round that she could go from a caring, thoughtful artist to a saucy and sexy dork in 0.5 seconds and all Lexa could do was marvel at her unpredictable being.

"And that, Clarke, is a side effect of your unhealthy sugar consumption." Lexa said, casting a sideways glance at her and walking off, so the blonde wouldn't be able to see how hard it was for her to impede her laughter.

Clarke was at her side in a flash, smirking. "Oh yes, I love me some sugar, you should try it sometime." She winked and jabbed her in her ribs playfully.

Lexa chuckled then. "You're impossible, Clarke."

The blonde sniggered and kept the pace with Lexa. She had succeeded, she had made the brunette open up even if it was for a fleeting moment. She had reached the unattainable. In one day, she had felt more alive than she could remember after her father's death. She had taken up painting again, she had been surrounded by little merry souls eager to learn from her, and she had met this incredible woman whose sole presence inspired her to paint a thousand canvases.

That's what life was supposed to be, that's what life was supposed to _feel_. And there, in the mystery of those infinite green eyes she understood the abysmal difference between surviving and truly living.


	10. A Friendly Conspiracy

Chapter 10

 **A Friendly Conspiracy**

Lexa was in front of her vanity looking at her reflection in the mirror. She was brushing her hair and making herself presentable after the afternoon walk with Clarke and the job-related conversation she had just ended with Anya. She was a bit distracted; many thoughts about the following day whirled around in her mind. She hoped nothing would go wrong, still, she had an odd feeling that made her stomach churn.

She hadn't acknowledged Anya's presence until she caught a glimpse of her in the mirror. Her friend had her arms crossed over her chest and was leaning on the door frame, staring, pretty much like a wolf stared at her defenseless next prey.

Lexa tried to brush it off, disregarding the insisting gaze, but at some point, she could almost start feeling how those relentless eyes were practically burning a hole in the back of her skull.

"Would you cut it out, Anya?" She suddenly asked, perturbed by her friend's silent nuisance. "If you have something to say, just say it. This is plain harassment."

"Now that we've discussed duty, I'm patiently waiting for you to share today's events with me, Lexa," Anya retorted. "Alas, it seems I won't get any information from you unless I force it out of you."

Lexa sighed and put away her brush. She grabbed her pink gloss lipstick and applied it smoothly on her lips. Once she was done, she held Anya's gaze in the mirror. "I got up, I had breakfast, went for a run…"

Anya scoffed. "You know what I mean. Stop stalling, kiddo."

"Quit calling me kiddo. I'm not the one poking my annoying nose into other people's businesses."

"Can't I be genuinely interested in your well-being?"

Lexa turned around and raised a brow at her. "Is that what this is? You showing concern?"

Anya seemed to think it over. "Kinda?"

The brunette gave her a wry look and grabbed the black leather jacket she had set on a chair by the door.

"I'm just curious, Lexa." Anya said, shoving her hand into the back pockets of her black jeans. "Curious about how a certain blonde ended up becoming a teacher at Polis and, mostly, about how the cranky and sour you accepted this arrangement to hang out with her and her friends this evening."

"Luna hired her," Lexa explained, aware that Anya would never let this go willingly. "She gave her first class today. We addressed certain topics over a cup of coffee and _we_ are going because her friend Raven appears to have a _thing_ for your irksome persona, which is beyond belief if you ask me since I know how insufferable you tend to be."

"What can I say? I've got game, Woods. Chicks dig me." Anya shrugged.

"You've spent a lot of time with Bellamy, Anya. You sounded just like him."

The dirty blonde narrowed her eyes. "How dare you…"

Lexa walked past right her and took the stairs down, smirking.

"So…" Anya followed suit. "Are you telling me you met Clarke by a stroke of luck at Polis?"

Lexa didn't stop her strides until she found her keys on the table near the door. She knew the actual answer would stir up more unremitting questioning, but she wasn't used to lying, so she would have to cope with this gabfest.

"Actually… No." Lexa turned to face her. "We met near a diner around 3 AM today."

Anya's eyebrows shot up in surprise and nearly reached her hairline.

"Wait…What?" She asked, stunned.

Lexa's shoulders sagged in defeat. Anya would not let her walk out her penthouse unless she told her everything she wanted to know.

"After leaving the office, I stopped by a diner on the way here," Lexa explained. "I ordered something to eat and then a cell phone rang. The barista said a lady had forgotten it, I took it, went out to find its owner and then… She was standing there, waiting for a taxi."

"Clarke." Anya uttered the name, as if trying to confirm the veracity of her story.

"Yes, Clarke. We were talking about her, weren't we?" Lexa wondered if hanging out with Bellamy so much had also caused Anya some irreversible brain damage.

"Wow…"

There was a beat of silence before the dirty blonde's hysterical laughter bubbled up out of her and such sight made Lexa's brows knit together. She was really starting to get worried about her, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen her laughing her lungs out. Had she ever?

"What's so funny?" The brunette asked, completely fazed. "Why are you laughing like a rabid hyena, Anya?"

"Oh my god! This is so fucking perfect!" Anya exclaimed, struggling to get some air back into her body. "Who would've known?! The cheesy concept of fate _does_ exist!"

Lexa's expression was that of absolute bewilderment. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Anya finally managed to get ahold of herself and she breathed in and out a couple of times in order to stop looking like a maniac. Her eyes landed on Lexa and there was a smirk on her face now. "Do you have any idea how hard Lincoln and I tried for months to get you to meet Clarke?"

Lexa blinked once, twice. "What?"

"Ever since he told me about Clarke, we agreed she would be an ideal match for you, but _every single time_ we asked you to hang out with us so you could meet her, you turned us down, or she did, or something happened, or… _Every single fucking time_!" Anya huffed in exasperation before she droned on. "And now _you're_ telling _me_ that you met _her_ in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere after we practically had given up on you two last night and that _she_ is a new teacher at Polis… So yeah, excuse me for laughing my ass off, but _this_ is just _unbe-fucking-lieavable_!"

It took Lexa a moment to gather her thoughts. Her mouth was slightly open as though she wanted to say something, but no sound would come out. Anya's insane ruses would never cease to stagger her… and to get under her skin.

"Why?!" The brunette asked indignantly. "Why would you go behind my back and try to set me up with Clarke or with _anyone_ for that matter?" Lexa lifted her right hand raked her fingers through her hair in a sign of exacerbation. She then locked eyes with her friend. "Besides, she has _a boyfriend_ , Anya! That was so distasteful and disrespectful to her!"

Anya held her hands up. "Whoa! Keep your hair on, Lexa! Back then, when Lincoln first mentioned her, Clarke was single, ok? And yeah, that was long time ago. She came up in a conversation and Linc thinks very highly of her, so we thought 'why not?'."

"Do I need to remind you why not?" Lexa snarled.

"Look, kiddo," Anya crossed her arms and watched her as if she were talking to an insolent adolescent. "I get it that you're angry right now, but Linc and I meant no harm. He said the blonde was clever, funny, thoughtful, and that she had a special gift of brightening everyone's day. Her natural beauty was a huge bonus, too, and since you've been dreary for forever, we figured she could very well be your little rainbow on your cloudy day."

Lexa breathed and said nothing. She had come to know that side of Clarke already. There was no room for argument. Still, she felt upset and maybe a bit nervous because, yes, if things were different, if she weren't so splintered, if life hadn't taken her faith in love away, Clarke could have been, Clarke could truly _be_ an indomitable force she wouldn't be able to deter.

"Anyway," Anya carried on. "Our plan failed every time you refused to go out. She then got a boyfriend and got busier… However, we still wanted you to meet her because we all know you need a friend who can actually make you smile…"

"You and Lincoln make me smile, Anya." Lexa said simply, rolling her eyes.

"You mean that 'Botox' smile you give us whenever we say stupid shit?" Anya scoffed mimicking Lexa's previous eye-roll. "We've seen enough of those."

The brunette remembered her conversation with Clarke that day and she realized she had truly smiled. She had truly felt like doing it in front of her, because of her. Perhaps Clarke did have a talent for lifting people's spirits. Yet, she couldn't disclose that to Anya, that would just spur her on.

When Lexa didn't snap back, Anya understood something she had said had made sense to her friend. "You spent time with her today and you didn't hate it, did you?"

"No, I didn't." Lexa replied quietly. She remembered those sparkling blue eyes and that easy smile. "Clarke is… special."

Anya smirked. "Special…"

Lexa decided she had given enough away and cast a glance at her wristwatch. "We should get going, we need to stop by a convenience store so we don't show up empty-handed." She then looked at her friend. "But do not think for a minute you're off the hook, Anya. The plot concerning Clarke, or whatever you call this, has to stop, ok?"

Anya held her gaze, but her smug smile never left her lips. "Don't worry, Lex. It seems the universe doesn't need our help after all…"

"You're ridiculous." Lexa mumbled before turning and reaching for the doorknob. "And by the way, beverages and snacks are on you as partial restitution for your ludicrous little scheme."

Anya groaned. "Really, Lexa?"

The brunette got out of the apartment and stood by the elevator doors. "Really, Anya."

"A bag of chips and a can of Dr Pepper it is then."

The elevators door opened and Lexa got in. "You'll have to do better than that, Anya. Don't be closefisted."

"I'm some serious eye candy, isn't that enough?"

Lexa snorted. "Spoken like a true Bellamy wannabe."

Anya gaped at her. "Why, you little piece of…" Her sentence was cut short when the doors nearly closed in her face, but Lexa's left hand stopped them just in time.

"Are you coming?" Lexa asked, amused.

Anya joined her in the elevator, an expression of disdain was plastered across her face.

"I was planning to, if Raven helped me…" Anya answered. "But with that last comment of yours I'm pretty sure my lady parts have become frigid."

Lexa smirked. "Wow, I have just discovered a way to chemically neuter you."

Anya narrowed her eyes at her and nearly pouted. "You're a bitch."

Lexa snickered. "So is karma."

* * *

Clarke got out of her room looking dazzling. She was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a white loose top that exposed one of her shoulders. Her floral perfume could be smelled from a mile away and her red lipstick made her lips look full and tempting. She was also wearing a pair of white sneakers. She knew they weren't too classy, but she wouldn't leave her apartment after all.

Raven, Octavia and Lincoln were already there, and all of them turned their attention to her as soon as their noses detected the persistent fragrance.

Raven wolf-whistled, while Octavia perked a brow and Lincoln smiled kindly (what a gentleman). They stared at her without uttering a word.

Clarke had just put on her earrings and noticed their impassioned gazes and she stood there, in the middle of the room, waiting for their pause to be over.

"What?" She asked, feeling rather observed and awkward.

"Looking good, Clarkey." Raven winked.

"You do know that it's GOT night and that Jon Snow cannot actually see you through the screen, right?" Octavia teased.

"Jon Snow can't, but Lexa can." Raven said in a singsong voice.

Clarke's brows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Her three friends simultaneously gave her a sweet, innocent smile, although Raven's was more like a 'don't-give-me-that-crap' smirk.

When nobody said anything else, she scoffed and headed towards the kitchen to get everything ready for the evening because of course she couldn't count on her friends' aid anymore. They had already made themselves feel at home and were too comfy in her living room to lift a finger.

"You know, Clarke," Lincoln stated aloud. "When you mentioned that Lexa would come, I was very surprised. She's not the most gregarious person in the world, I honestly have no idea how you did it."

"Give her some credit, baby." Octavia said, snuggled up against him and patting one of his knees. "Clarke is a charmer. One look at those shiny eyes, at that tongue peeking out when she smiles…"

"At that eye-popping rack…" Raven butted in grinning.

A bag of tortilla chips flew through the air and landed right on the Latina's head. "Hey!" She yelped. "That was a fucking compliment, Griffin!"

Lincoln and Octavia snickered as Raven reached for the bag and proceeded to open it eagerly. Octavia leaned forward and made an attempt to get her hand into the bag to grab a chip, but Raven literally growled at her and pulled it away.

Clarke reappeared and set some bags of chips and some beer bottles on the coffee table. "The Lexa I met is not that privy. I mean, yeah, her personality is quite… enigmatic, but she's nice."

"Wait until you see her in commander mode." Lincoln commented, grabbing a beer bottle. "She's a force to be reckoned with."

"I hope that moment never comes." Clarke said, plopping down on the love seat, the only space available. "She does have this… _power_ , this _something_ that could make most people fall to their knees."

Raven almost choked on a tortilla chip. "Oh my god, Clarke! It hasn't even been a day and you already want to bend the knee before her and pay tribute to her?" She said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"That's not what I meant, Raven!" The blonde countered. Her cheeks got flushed despite her best efforts.

"Don't deny it, Clarke." The Latina retorted. "Your sexy blouse, your freaking perfume that is making my eyes water, and that blush spreading to the tips of your ears say otherwise."

Octavia gave Clarke a shit eating grin. "I kinda agree with Rae here. Whatever happened to your shabby sweatpants and to your lion slippers for GOT night, huh?"

Clarke scoffed at the absurdity of it all. "Ok, call me vain or whichever adjective comes to mind, but I just didn't want to look like a bum in front of people I've just met, all right?"

Her three friends snorted at the same time.

The blonde gaped at them, but mostly at Lincoln who had been the most understanding and harmless of the three up until that moment. "You too, Linc?!"

"I'm sorry, Clarke," He said. "You did look quite chirpy when you told us how you two had met and when you mentioned her 'outrageous drawing skills'."

Clarke's mouth opened as she was trying to formulate words. "Well… Maybe it was the kids…"

"Yeah, the kids you want to have with Lexa after you hump her into oblivion." Raven cut in rashly.

Before Clarke could grab a beer bottle and use it as a deadly weapon, a knock on the door made her flinch and she froze all of a sudden.

"I'll get it!" The Latina announced quickly and in the blink of an eye she was already by the door, opening it.

Another wolf-whistle came out of Raven's mouth as soon as she saw the two guests standing on the hallway.

"My, my… Christmas must have arrived at my toy shop earlier, 'cos _damn_! Two dolls for the price of one!" The Latina exclaimed raking her eyes boldly over the two women.

Lexa lifted her head slightly. "And you must be Raven."

"I'd offer you my hand for you to kiss, but I'd rather give you another body part to –

"RAVEN!" Clarke yanked the Latina's arm and swiftly moved her away from the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, she forgot to take her meds this morning." She said to Lexa apologetically. "Please, come on in, I must have a leash somewhere to restrain her while you make yourselves comfortable."

"A leash, huh?" Anya stepped ahead of Lexa and glanced over at Raven who was standing behind Clarke. "That should be interesting…" She mumbled with a devilish smirk and Clarke heard a squeal by her ear. Anya lifted the six-pack of beer she was carrying and literally dropped in the hostess's hands who reacted immediately to not let it fall. Then the bold guest walked carelessly towards the couch and sat down as if she owned the place, grabbing a beer bottle while doing it.

It was Lexa's turn to look mortified. "I apologize on her behalf, Clarke." She said softly. "She hasn't been properly trained since she was rescued from the dog pound."

The blonde chuckled lightly. "That's ok, I can see why those two would be a match made in heaven… Or hell…"

Lexa's lips curved into a smile. "True."

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before the brunette realized she hadn't moved an inch. "We brought some snacks as well," she announced, raising her hands at her sides to show Clarke the plastic bags she was carrying. "Where shall I place them?"

"Oh, you shouldn't have…"

"My thoughts precisely." Anya muttered before sipping her beer.

Lexa gave her a pointed look.

"Let's go to the kitchen," Clarke shook her head and stepped aside so Lexa could finally cross the threshold. "We can sort them out there while my useless friends sweep away the first batch of food."

Both women reached the kitchen area, not without being shamelessly monitored by their friends on their way there. Lexa set the supplies on the counter carefully and Clarke began taking the contents out of one of the bags.

"You really didn't have to bring anything, Lexa." The blonde said, although she couldn't hold off a smile as soon as she saw there were some chocolate bars and an ice-cream container, which didn't go unnoticed by Lexa.

"It's customary to bring something when being invited over." The brunette commented matter-of-factly. "It wouldn't have been right to show up empty-handed, Clarke. Besides, I know Anya and Lincoln eat as much as an army. Your fridge was at stake here."

Clarke scoffed. "You're telling me." She agreed. "You haven't seen hurricane Raven in action."

"Then I'm glad I brought extra food." Lexa said simply, turning her face to her. It was at that moment when she really had the chance to take Clarke in and her knees felt weak instantly. The blonde was truly jaw-dropping and the effect she had on her intensified tenfold when she remembered Anya's confession and intentions to pair them off. She mentally berated herself and she looked away to keep setting the snacks on the counter.

Clarke didn't notice Lexa's perturbation, but she felt a little anxious herself. Her friends' teasing finally taking its toll. She wasn't attracted to Lexa, was she? They had just met and their personalities were so different. Lexa was guarded, composed, and ceremonious, and she was… well, unrestrained, hotheaded and goofy most of the time. And yet… there was this unexplainable bond that made her feel they were attuned to one another in a subtle but deep way. For a moment, Clarke wondered whether Sense8 writers' imagination was not that astray. Maybe some people were actually made up from the same stardust and they recognized each other's souls with just a single glance.

The blonde was so engrossed in her inner monologue that she literally jumped out of her skin when her fingers touched Lexa's as they both grabbed the ice-cream container at the same time. The unexpected contact sent shivers down her spine.

Lexa was the first to react and she retrieved her hand right away. "I- I'm sorry…" She said, hoping her face wouldn't betray her and display the blush she was trying to fend off with all her might.

"I- I was going to hide this in the freezer," Clarke explained nervously. "I didn't intend to take your hand with me, sorry…"

Lexa still flustered, arched a brow at her. "You're not sharing it?"

The blonde looked utterly embarrassed. "Uhm… Well, I will, but I want to make sure Raven is about to burst first. If she finds out there's ice-cream, no one will be able to try it, but her…"

"And by no one, you mean, you, right?" Lexa asked, as clever as ever.

Clarke looked down at her sneakers, busted. "Yeah?"

Lexa nodded amusedly. "I see…"

Since Clarke was beyond sheepish, Lexa grasped the container the blonde had let go of, and she opened the freezer to leave it there. "I won't tell a soul, Clarke." She said returning to where she had been standing. "Providing you share some with me."

Clarke looked up and her nonplussed eyes found Lexa's. "Are you blackmailing me, Lexa?"

The brunette shrugged. "I am simply negotiating the terms of a win-win agreement, Clarke."

"I see…" The blonde smiled widely.

"Yo, Griffin and sweet muffin!" Raven's call interrupted their chat abruptly. "GOT is about to start and we're starving in here!"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "There's plenty of food on the coffee table, Rae!"

"There was…" Lincoln supplied.

"And the freaking pizza hasn't arrived! So bring your ass over here along with Lexa's donation!" The Latina demanded.

Lexa quirked a brow. "Never had I imagined the perfect match existed, but I can practically hear the wedding bells from here. Your friend is Anya's dream come true."

Clarke snickered. "Brace yourselves, 'Ranya' is coming…"

* * *

The pizza arrived a minute later, and despite Clarke's best efforts to get it herself, she was beat by a very enthusiastic Raven who had sprinted towards the door and had paid for it with the blonde's money she had 'found' in the blonde's purse that was hanging from the coat rack by the door.

Lexa was walking behind Clarke, carrying the beer and as soon as they reached the living room where they friends were, they spotted the only two remaining seats in the area, which happened to be adjacent to each other.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Raven, who was already seated on the red puff sofa she had gotten a few months back. She then eyed Lincoln, who was sitting on the loveseat with Octavia on his lap. They were both avoiding her gaze it seemed and she could practically smell their conspiracy in the air.

Lexa's subtle scowl became a bit more prominent when she glared at Anya on the couch. One of the free seats was right next to her, and she was patting it playfully, motioning her to take it.

"Well?" Asked Raven feigning innocence. "Are you gonna sit or what?"

Lincoln turned his head to Lexa, who was standing close to him. "And hello to you too, Lexa." He said with a smirk.

"Hello, Lincoln. I'm sorry, I didn't intend to overlook you when I arrived." She said a little abashed.

"Don't worry, you were busy helping Clarke, I noticed." He replied, though his tone was friskier than usual. "By the way, this is Octavia, my girlfriend."

Octavia turned her head as well and smiled at the brunette. "Hey, it's nice to finally meet you, _Commander_."

"Hello, Octavia. It's nice to meet you, too. Please, call me Lexa. _Commander_ is an overstated term Lincoln and Anya came up with long time ago."

Anya snorted. "Overstated? Yeah, right!"

Lexa gave her a look, a silent warning to remind her that she was a very skilled FBI agent and she was capable of committing the perfect crime if she ever wanted to and nobody would be able to find her corpse, not even in a million years.

Clarke cleared her throat and placed the snacks on the coffee table, by the pizza boxes that were being emptied too fast for her liking.

"Please, take a seat, Lexa." She said, waiting for her guest to make herself comfortable, preferably beside Anya. That woman was scarier than she wanted to admit.

Lexa set the beer by the coffee table, since there was not enough room, and took a few steps before she sat down next to her friend. Anya immediately grinned at her while taking a sip of her beer.

Clarke plopped down on the remaining seat and did her best to scooch over to the armrest, so she wouldn't be so close to Lexa, but at that moment Anya decided her bootie needed more space and she opened her legs, making Lexa move toward the blonde.

Lexa stared icily at Anya.

"What?" The dirty blonde asked. "I did one hundred squats today. My ass hurts."

"Maybe I can help you with that." Raven proclaimed, a wicked smile behind the beer bottle that was about to touch her lips.

Clarke facepalmed. "Oh, God…"

Anya mimicked Raven's smirk. "If you play your cards right…"

The Latina bit her lower lip and winked at Anya.

"Could you keep it in your pants, Reyes?" Octavia requested while she placed herself between Lincoln's legs. "The opening song is on!"

Raven and Octavia began humming the tune and Lincoln couldn't contain his chuckling. Clarke usually did the same, she had even come up with her own lyrics which she sometimes sang at the top of her lungs; however, she was sure that Lexa's ears would not appreciate that creative composition, at least not now. She would have plenty of time to scare her off later. She truly hoped so.

For her part, Lexa was doing her best to focus on the TV screen, but her body was stiff as a board in an effort to avoid brushing against Clarke. She could feel a torrent of electricity unravelling through her body whenever their arms got too close. She could feel the blonde's body heat enveloping her, her perfume… Vanilla, Jasmine and something very _Clarke_ , sweet and tantalizing. Discreetly, she tried to lift her left arm to place it on the headrest behind Anya to lean to her side, but her friend beat her to it and stretched her arm on the surface in her direction first.

Lexa almost growled and Anya didn't even bother to hide her naughty smile while she made a nearly imperceptible clucking noise.

 _You're in so. Much. Trouble, Anya…_

"Aren't you comfortable, Lexa?" Clarke asked when she noticed the brunette's withdrawal. "I can sit on the rug if Anya needs more space…"

"I—No, don't worry, Clarke. I'm fine."

The blonde looked at her and flashed her one of her kind smiles and Lexa felt her insides melt a little. Their gazes locked longer than necessary, that was until somebody finally broke the spell.

"Take that, fucking Frey scumbags!" Shouted Raven excitedly all of a sudden.

Both Clarke and Lexa jolted and turned her heads to the TV. Octavia was whooping and high-fiving Lincoln and the two women were left wondering what the hell had happened.

Lexa swallowed hard and mentally punched herself for missing a presumably epic GOT scene. That had never happened before. Not ever. It was absurd, really. Childish. One smile and Clarke had made her brain malfunction and miss the beginning of the new season of her favorite program of all times. That's all it took. One single smile.

 _This is going to be a long evening…_

* * *

"Holy Shit! George did it again!" Raven exclaimed raking her fingers through her messed hair. Her pony-tail long gone now. "That man is a genius, a very sadistic and twisted one, but a fucking genius!"

"Tru dat." Octavia agreed stretching her arms after placing a little peck on Lincoln's lips. "Clarke, Lexa, how did you like the first episode?"

"Remarkable, as always." Lexa answered. In all honesty, she wasn't able to remember most of it, but they didn't need to know that bit of information. She would have to watch it again, preferably miles away from certain blonde and a certain treacherous friend.

"And you, Clarkey?" Octavia pushed. She knew her friend all too well. She had stolen some glances at the blonde from time to time and that had been enough for her to see that Clarke had not been paying attention to the show in the slightest.

"It was… Terrific. We knew it would be, right?" Clarke shrugged and played along. Who was she kidding? Lexa's jaw flexing, her tiny hint of smile, her tempting perfume, her lean hands on her knees and those fingers… She was sure she had seen some white walkers and Jon Snow, and Cersei and obviously the rest of the characters. Obviously. She just didn't know what the fuck they had been doing. As simple as that.

"Hmm…" Raven smirked all-knowingly. "What was your favorite scene, Gryffindor?"

 _Shit…_

"Uh…It's difficult to tell… I mean… It's hard to choose." Clarke rambled. All the eyes in the room were set on her and she started to feel her cheeks burning.

Lincoln, the great-hearted Lincoln stepped in once he saw the blonde was struggling to form coherent sentences. "C'mon Raven, that's a tough one. I am just glad to see Lyanna Mormont again, she reminds me so much of Lexa here."

Now all eyes were fixed on the brunette.

"Now that you mention it… Yeah." Raven said. "I can picture little Lexa enjoying scaring the crap out of people."

"I didn't, but I do now." The brunette shrugged.

"I've told her the same thing ever since that kid appeared on the show." Anya commented.

"And who would you be, sweet cheekbones?" Raven asked.

"Definitely Olenna Tyrell. That's her in 30 years or so." Lexa replied.

"I'm honored." Anya said. "Of course, if she wore leather dresses and if she had a whip, that description would be more accurate."

"Damn…" Raven's mind began racing, as well as her pulse. "I think my underwear are ruined…"

Clarke hastily jumped to her feet and raised her voice: "Okaaay… it's time to tidy this place up, who's going to help me?"

Not a second had passed since those words came out when Clarke found Lincoln and Octavia already by the door. "Oh my God! I forgot Lincoln here had an early start tomorrow!" The brunette said, tugging her boyfriend by his hand. "We'd better hurry, thanks for the evening!"

Lincoln looked apologetic, but he wasn't going to defy Octavia's unyielding resolution, so he just flashed a smile and played along. "Uhm… see you around I guess." He mustered as his girlfriend opened the door and hastily sneaked out.

"It was a pleasure, Commander!" Octavia's voice could be heard down the hall despite the sudden door slam racket.

Clarke didn't have enough time to even gape at that display of bad manners when she noticed Anya had already sauntered towards the door, followed by a very, very chirpy Raven.

"We're gonna head out too." The Latina announced without an ounce of remorse in her voice. "I'd make up a lame excuse like O, but the truth is it's time to feed the kitty, bitches!"

Anya proceeded to open the door and glanced over her shoulder at Lexa. "Enjoy the rest of the night, Lex, I know I will."

Raven took the opportunity to ogle Anya's rear while she was crossing the threshold. "I feel so fucking lucky tonight…" She muttered. "Anyway… See you later, suckers!" She waved goodbye and the door was closed at the drop of a hat again.

This time, Clarke's jaw was practically stuck open.

"Can you believe them?!" She asked dumbfounded, not really looking for an answer, because _of course,_ her friends could be real dingbats sometimes.

"I can, actually." Lexa replied. She didn't even bat an eye. That was an expected outcome after all. She could swear it was Anya's plan all along, hooking up with Raven and leaving her there alone with Clarke. A childish set-up by a tricky mind.

Clarke turned to Lexa and realized she had already stood up and had begun to pick up the beer bottles that were scattered on the coffee table and all around it. Had an entire army drunk the whole beer supply in the city?

"Lexa, just leave them there, I'll take care of that later." The blonde said feeling a bit awkward with the brunette's willingness to help.

"I will not let you do it all by yourself, Clarke. It's only fair that I do my part."

"You didn't even finish your beer, Lexa." The blonde pointed. "You're not the one who turned my house into a garbage dump."

The brunette managed to grab most of the bottles and then her eyes landed on Clarke. "We could discuss social protocol all night, Clarke, but your house would look more livable more quickly if two people made a concerted effort at the same time."

Clarke looked at her, narrowing her eyes and placing her hands on her hips. "Are you always this pigheaded, Lexa?"

The brunette walked past by her towards the kitchen. "I could ask you the same thing, Clarke."

The blonde rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "Fine then. If you are so eager to spend part of the night housekeeping, be my guest."

"I'm already your guest, Clarke." Lexa said, placing the bottles on the kitchen counter.

"Who knew? She can make jokes."

"She can." Lexa added. "But right now, _she_ would like to know where you keep the trash bags."

Clarke snorted and came to the conclusion that there was no use in arguing with a woman as stubborn as herself. "They're under the kitchen sink." She then got a hold of the remaining bottles and took them to the kitchen as well, not even trying to hide the small smile on her face.

After rummaging through the sink cabinet and finding what she was looking for, Lexa set out to put away the bottles and the pizza boxes that Clarke was carrying into the kitchen. She was committed to the task at hand although her gaze insisted on betraying her and meandered towards her hostess who was also struggling to avoid looking in her direction from time to time. Hanging out with Clarke like this felt strangely familiar, it felt… easy and somehow _right_ , even if they were both doing something as simple as cleaning up. And that unconstrained casualness made Lexa feel a little shaken, which was a contradiction, at least for someone as withdrawn as her.

"So… That episode was great." Clarke handed her the last pizza box leaned against the kitchen counter. She almost winced at her own pathetic attempt of conversation since she could barely remember anything at all.

Lexa put the box into the trash bag and dropped it on the floor. "Yes, I didn't expect anything less."

The episode _had to be_ great, didn't it?

Clarke gave her a half-smile. "Thank you for not bailing on me." She said and looked around the now decent apartment. "I would've been too lazy to do this tonight. Or tomorrow… Or any other day."

"Not a fan of order and sanitation?" Lexa smiled back, amused.

"Not when it comes to my apartment. It looks like a battlefield most of the time." Clarke's tongue stuck out between her teeth and Lexa thought she looked undeniably cute.

"That makes me think I might as well charge you for my housekeeping services tonight then."

"Aaand I might just have the perfect fee." Clarke reached out for the fridge and opened it, eager to put her hands on the ice cream container. She turned around and showed Lexa her prize for her good disposition. "Wanna share it?"

"I was planning on sleeping tonight, Clarke. That sugar rush could keep me up all night."

"If that's the case I can show you my bedroom…" She regretted those words as soon as they had slipped out and Clarke blushed profusely. She was sure her whole body had turned burgundy. Lexa raised an eyebrow and stared at her speechless.

"I mean! I can show you my bedroom for you to clean it up!" She amended immediately. "You know? To burn all those calories?"

 _Holy crickets! Shoot me now…_

"I see…"

The blonde closed her eyes for a second and breathed in. One of those blue orbs opened and she dared to look at Lexa who seemed mostly entertained. "In my defense, I'm not completely sober and my mouth moves before my brain can consent to my words…"

"You had one beer, Clarke."

 _There goes your alibi, Griffin…_

"Fine!" Clarke opened the cupboard and grabbed two bowls. "I was apparently born with my foot in my mouth, happy now?" She turned and placed the container and the bowls on the counter.

Lexa did her best to refrain from laughing, but a quiet chuckle escaped anyway. Clarke glared at her and grasped the ice cream container fiercely with both hands. "I don't feel like sharing this with you anymore…"

The brunette cleared her throat to prevent any further damage to Clarke's dignity with the laughter that threatened to leak out. "It would be rude to let your guest down, Clarke."

"You're lucky I am a fantastic hostess then." The blonde muttered as she walked to the other side of the kitchen to open a drawer and get two spoons.

"I am."

After a couple of minutes, Clarke finally managed to open the container and to evenly distribute the ice cream in the bowls, which in her world meant that her portion was substantially more bountiful than Lexa's.

"There you go." She said, offering the bowl to the FBI agent who had been observing her strife with the container cap all along and who had also noticed the moderate amount of her serving. Clarke definitely deserved to star in her own sitcom.

"Thank you." Lexa gladly accepted the dessert and waited for the blonde to start eating.

It was perhaps the brunette's second spoonful of ice cream when Clarke's bowl was nearly empty. Lexa quirked an eyebrow at the staggering rapacity.

"What?" Clarke asked, licking some ice cream off her lips.

"That must be a new Guinness Record."

"And I was holding back." Clarke grinned and went for seconds. This time she didn't have to contend with the cap because she had set it aside knowing she would want another portion before long.

Right then, her cell phone rang somewhere in her apartment.

"I'll get that." Clarke sorrowfully sat her bowl on the counter and walked off to retrieve her noisy device. When she located it, she looked at the screen and groaned. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Lexa cast a glance at the blonde who rushed to accept the incoming call.

 _"_ _Yes, of course… I'll be there as soon as I can. Yeah, bye."_

Lexa placed the bowls in the sink and moved toward Clarke, whose expression was beat.

"They need you back in the hospital…" Lexa spoke quietly.

"Yeah. I was supposed to have this night off, but… Something's come up."

The FBI agent nodded, understanding. "I'll give you a ride."

Clarke was about to object, but she suddenly remembered it would be pointless. They were both too stubborn and she felt already drained by the idea of going back to work so soon.

"Thanks, Lexa." A sheepish smile tugged at her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'll just grab my bag and a change of clothes."

Lexa nodded and stood by the door to wait for her. She did feel a bit sorry for Clarke, she understood how demanding a job could be, especially one that entailed saving people's lives, and that notion made her admire the blonde some more.

"Ready." Clarke announced coming out of her room.

"Let's go then."

* * *

The mood had drastically shifted and the only thing that brightened up the atmosphere inside the car was the music that poured through the stereo.

Yes, Clarke was tired and frustrated because she had been summoned to work, but her sulkiness had more to do with the fact that she had secretly expected to spend more time with Lexa after her friends retreated so unashamedly. She really, _really_ enjoyed her company even if she didn't know if Lexa felt the same way about hers.

"Thank you for turning up tonight." Clarke said at a red light and she chewed on her lip nervously. "I hope that you didn't find us mortals repelling…"

Lexa turned and made eye contact with her. Her lips curved slightly. "You were not that unendurable, Clarke."

"Good, because I was wondering if you'd be up for a repeat. Maybe next weekend? If I'm not at work that is…"

The blonde braced herself for a brassy reply, but she was pleasantly surprised when Lexa spoke up.

"I'd love to."

 _Lexa Woods…_

Her mind was in autopilot it seemed.

Clarke's face lit up and her faith in humanity was restored at that very moment.

"It's a deal then."

"It is."

When Lexa dropped her off at the hospital, Clarke could swear her feet had grown a pair of wings and that her smile had become a beacon that cast a light all around her. She no longer minded working 72 hours straight at all.

"So… see you next Sunday?" She asked, getting out of the car.

"Yes, I'll be there." Lexa smiled gently.

"Drive safely."

"I will."

"Good night, Lexa."

"Good night, Clarke."

The BMW didn't take long to go out of sight and Clarke finally headed to the main entrance of the hospital. Once she was at the ER reception, Harper made her stop on her tracks.

"Looking radiant tonight, Griffin. Did you get some today?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Shut up!"

The blonde walked past her with a huge grin on her face and realized she had never yearned so much for a weekend before.


	11. The Commander Bows to No One

**Chapter 11**

 **The Commander Bows to No One**

"Are you absolutely positive that's the right location?" Bellamy asked leaning forward. The screens were so bright that he wondered how the hell their IT specialist hadn't become blind yet.

Monty could feel Bellamy's breath close to his left ear. That guy desperately needed a mint.

"When have I let you guys down?" Monty replied visibly upset. "And please back out, Bell, you're fogging my screens and my senses."

The agent scoffed but did as he was told right away. Anya snorted next to him. "I thought I had made myself pretty clear regarding your fetid fumes, Bellamy."

"Excuse me!" He said offended. "There's nothing wrong with my breath, thank you very much!"

"Ask that to the seven cups of coffee you drink and to the fifteen cigarettes you inhale every single day…"

Bellamy opened his mouth to come up with a rebuttal, but instead, reached into one of his pockets, took out a peppermint chewing gum and threw it into his mouth.

"Atta boy." Anya praised.

A subtle sigh filtered through Lexa's lips as she approached Monty. "Too many windows. There is no way we can get there without being seen." She pointed out with a frown.

"Yep. Those guys picked an ideal warehouse for their operation." Monty agreed.

"Hidden at plain sight. No wonder they haven't been caught." Anya mentioned.

"Guess we'll have to get there with great fanfare and all and hope for the best." Bellamy said crossing his arms.

Lexa narrowed her eyes. The satellite image was not very reassuring. The building was situated close to a dock, surrounded by more warehouses and containers and the adjacent neighborhoods were run-down areas where criminals liked hanging out. Police cars would be easily spotted a mile away. However, they were running out of time. Jason had given them Pike's whereabouts and if those felons were smart, they would find a way to relocate themselves at any moment. So, the FBI needed to act as soon as possible, regardless of the lack of reinforcements.

They would try to capture Pike's gang that very same afternoon.

Anya approached the brunette and immediately picked up on her friend's jaw clenching.

"What's going through your mind, Lexa?" She asked almost in a whisper.

"I don't have a good feeling about this." She replied quietly.

"Neither do I," Anya acquiesced. "But for what it's worth, Gustus and Lincoln's squad will be there as well to back us up."

"Don't forget about your totally badass FBI specialist." Monty added not missing a beat. "I'll be with you every step of the way. Just don't forget your special earbuds." The last part was almost growled and if he turned quickly to Bellamy before his eyes landed on his screens once again.

"It was just that one time!" Bellamy protested.

"It'd better be," Monty pushed. "Jasper was not ecstatic when he found out you had lost his precious mastered invention."

"Mastered invention my ass," Bellamy muttered. "That freaking thing sometimes gave me shocks…"

Monty smirked. "Well, it was kinds custom-made exclusively for you…"

"You great piece of…"

"We're ready." Indra's stern voice interrupted their bickering while she scanned the faces in the IT room. "Feel free to join us in the meeting room as soon as you finish with your merry tittle-tattle."

Lexa nodded and proceeded to follow their boss, who had disappeared through the door right after her brief exhortation. Anya was right behind her, and Bellamy was quick to whack Monty's head before he caught up with his two female peers.

They reached the meeting room and walked in. Indra didn't waste any second.

"So, this is the plan for today's raid…"

* * *

"Where are we going?" asked Aden, whose eyes were gingerly regarding the driver.

"You will see soon enough." Lexa responded while taking a detour. A wave of apprehension hit her, but there was no turning back now. She had thought about this over and over again and she knew it was the right thing to do; nevertheless, it was not going to be easy. Their destination was the one place people would want to avoid if having a choice in the matter. She knew that place too well and she was painfully aware of how many emotions it evoked. No matter how thoughtful Anya told her her decision was, it would be distressing.

She had gotten the arrangements made and Titus hadn't disappointed despite his disagreement.

 _He was a filthy criminal. Why would you spend a dime on him or what is left of him?_ He had expressed after Lexa's order. And she had to remind him that, in fact, it was an _order,_ not a request that required his biased opinion.

It was not the right timing, but she had managed to spare a couple of hours before her uncertain afternoon. Indra had been very supportive or her plan regardless of their forthcoming operation and Lexa was thankful for that. Her boss was high-minded behind that sturdy exterior.

Aden was looking silently through the car window. He had decided to forgo his questioning. He trusted Lexa, which was some sort of new revelation because he couldn't remember if he had ever trusted anyone before, not even his own brother. He had never felt the peaceful comfort of someone else's company until now. Lexa understood. She understood the unmerciful darkness of the world, the roaring monsters in the soul. She understood misery and hopelessness and that allowed her to be strong and human enough to try to shield others from all of that.

He was lucky to have her.

The landscape made of concrete and bricks slowly dissolved and the surroundings turned into grass and stones. Aden's breath got caught when realization hit him.

Lexa pulled over after a couple of minutes and looked at him. His jaw was trembling and his hands were grasping the seat as though he didn't know what to do with them.

He turned and his eyes were bright, full of unshed tears.

She held his gaze and nodded calmly. _Whenever you are ready_. _Take your time_ , her eyes spoke.

The boy took a deep breath and opened the door. Lexa did so too and moved around the car towards him.

There was no need to say anything. She began walking, but kept her pace slow to wait for him. She knew his steps would be hesitant. It was understandable.

After a short while, she stopped by an open grave which looked like had been dug recently. There was an engraved tombstone at the other end of it and Aden's tears finally spilled when he read the name.

 _John Meadows_

"I didn't want to impose an epitaph that was not my choice to make," Lexa confessed reverently. "If you wish, you can tell me what you think it should say and I will get it done."

Aden blinked. He was momentarily speechless.

What words did he want on the headstone? What could he possibly say that accurately expressed what his brother had meant, what his brother had been like in life?

He would have to think it over carefully, he couldn't wrap his head around such a definite text, not now.

Still rattled, Aden forced himself to clear his thoughts and his eyes flicked to the grave and lingered on the coffin lying there. Its surface was bare, awaiting someone to throw the first handful of dirt on it.

Lexa stepped back, giving Aden the space he would need to bid farewell to his brother. She had been in his shoes at this very cemetery more times than any person should. Her parents, Costia... She had visited their tombs every single year and still it felt like no words had sufficed to let them go entirely. Every time she went there, there were more things to say, more thoughts to share, more feelings to face. She was aware that underneath her feet, there was nothing more than a casket full of bones that once had been coated with flesh and skin, with fears and dreams; but somehow, the illusion of having something tangible to remember them by was soothing. People were that fragile, that innocent. They always needed to have something to hold onto so they wouldn't break apart.

Aden ignored the tears tumbling down his face and took a few steps towards the dirt mount. He crouched down and grabbed a fistful. Then, he slowly threw it onto the coffin, closing his eyes for a moment in order to feel the inherent goodbye in that gesture.

He looked down and sobbed.

"I'll miss you…" Aden said, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. "I'll miss who you were before our parents died… And I'll miss the gentleness in your eyes before you lost your way…"

Lexa's throat felt tight and she clenched her fists at her sides at the familiar ache in her chest.

A few moments later, Aden's weeping subsided and his gaze sought Lexa's. She positioned herself next to him and waited.

"You haven't asked me," Aden said, shattering the silence. "You haven't interrogated me about my brother and his… lifestyle."

"No, I haven't." Lexa replied.

 _You were grieving. You are grieving._

Aden sighed. He knew why she hadn't asked him anything yet, but he also knew she had to do it, it was part of her job.

"I want to help," he said. The coffin in front of him would never open. His brother would never come back. "I want to help you to stop those people from hurting others, from changing others…"

"You will tell me when you're ready."

"I am now."

Lexa stole a side-glance at him. Aden's resolution was evident in his voice, in the wet twinkle in his eyes and she nodded.

"Not here, though. On our way back." He promised. "I don't know too much, but I hope it's enough."

"Okay." Lexa retreated and began her short journey to her car.

Aden remained there in front of the grave for a couple more minutes. Once he was able to compose himself a bit, he cast a last glance at the coffin.

"May we meet again, brother…"

Lexa saw Aden turning around and walking calmly up to her, and she was about to open the door for him when he suddenly halted and looked straight at her as if contemplating to do something he was not sure he had the right to do.

In a heartbeat, she was being wrapped in an unexpected and loving bear hug.

"Thank you." He muttered against her shirt, which she felt was being soaked with tears.

Her hands were raised, hovering over Aden's back. She had not been prepared for that display of affection even though she already knew the boy had a very tender soul.

But his embrace was genuine and raw and she couldn't even start to fathom how many times he had needed that solace and had been deprived of it. So, she gently hugged him back and she let herself be his rock for as long as his slim and demanding arms circled her.

For a fleeting moment, Lexa though she could feel that a crack in her heart had been stitched up with the warmth of those little and grateful hands.

* * *

"You'll be fine, Lexa." Anya impelled her feet to keep up with the nurses' speed. They were hurriedly pushing and pulling the gurney down the hallway.

"I _am_ fine, Anya." Lexa insisted with something that resembled a growl. She was struggling to be still on the stretcher because all she really wanted to do was to get up and get away from there. She hated hospitals, she hated the unmistakable smell of medicine, alcohol, and cleaning agents. But mostly, she hated how they reeked of despair and near-death experiences. She was all too familiar with that scent.

"This completely unnecessary..." Lexa complained, even though her head throbbed and her upper abdomen hurt like hell.

"You don't have a say in it, Commander." Anya rolled her eyes because of course, Lexa would choose to be a spoiled brat about her physical condition just now. "That's the doctors' prerogative and unless you have a PhD in Medicine that I don't know of, just shut it, ok?"

Lexa groaned and clutched her solar plexus while doing it. It would definitely bruise, but other than that, she would survive.

"What do we have here?" A man in white coat asked, joining the nurses who had just gotten the gurney and the patient on it through the ER doors.

"FBI agent with blunt force trauma to the epigastric region." One of the nurses answered. "A bullet went into the bulletproof vest, fired at close range. Due to the blow, the patient stumbled and banged her head against a wall."

"Possible concussion to the head then." The man, who was clearly a doctor, approached the brunette agent who was obviously displeased to see him. "Don't worry, we'll take care of you, Ms…"

"Woods. Special FBI agent Lexa Woods." Anya supplied. She already knew Lexa would give the doctor and medical staff a hard time. She would probably snarl rather than using words like normal people would.

"Ms. Woods," The doctor said, drawing to a stop. "Let's get you more comfortable, shall we?"

Lexa jerked her head up, which brought on some heavy pounding and she automatically winced. She had only intended to have a look at her surroundings, but her head felt like it was being trampled by the legs of raging elephants.

"Would you stop that?" Anya fixed her with a cutthroat glance when she noticed Lexa refused to remain motionless. "Don't make me restrain you."

"As if you could…" Lexa muttered and she then felt herself being lifted and carefully placed on a small hospital bed.

One of the nurses pressed a button and the head of the bed was placed at a 45-degree angle to provide the agent with some sense of comfort. From that position, Lexa's eyes flitted around the room and she released a bitter sigh.

She was in ER. Great.

The hustle and bustle of the room got Lexa's mind spinning. The constant coming and going of medical staff and the moaning and whining of the patients who wanted to be there as much as her made her close her eyes and take a moment to gather all her will power to not jump out of the hospital bed and break into a sprint towards the exit.

"I'm Dr. Sinclair," the doctor announced standing right next to her, trying to get her attention. "How do you feel, Ms. Woods?"

"Like I've been shot." Lexa replied dryly and Anya snorted.

Sinclair chuckled. "It's a relief to see that that blow to your head did not damage the part of the brain responsible for your sense of humor. That's something."

"In her case, brain damage can't be entirely ruled out…" Anya mumbled.

Lexa gave her a murderous glare.

"Did you witness the ordeal, Ms…?" The doctor turned to Anya, who happened to be on the opposite side of the bed.

"Special FBI agent Forest. And yes, I did."

"Have you detected any erratic behavior in your partner?" Sinclair asked, grabbing a chart that one of the nurses handed him.

"Ever since I met her." Anya crossed her arms.

"Once I get rid of this headache, Anya…" Lexa glowered.

The doctor cleared his throat. "I mean… As of late? The incident?"

"She blacked out for a few minutes," Anya explained. "She then came back to her senses and began complaining about being brought to the hospital."

"Has she been coherent at all times?"

Anya was about to make a joke at that, but she refrained when she saw how busy ER was getting. The doctor could just get tired of her wits and look for more pressing matters to attend to.

"Yes, she has. As coherent as she can be." Ok, she couldn't help one more.

Dr. Sinclair shifted his focus to Lexa. "Do you feel nauseous or dizzy, Ms. Woods?"

"No."

"Have you had any vision problems since the blow?"

"No."

"Ok then," The doctor kept on writing on the chart for a couple of seconds. "We'll have to keep you here until we're sure you're perfectly functional. We will have to run a CT scan of both your abdomen and your brain to see if there's anything more serious."

Lexa was about to protest when, unexpectedly, another nurse strode into the room and raised her voice.

"Incoming multiple wounded! They'll need all the help we can provide!"

Dr. Sinclair looked apologetic and stepped back. "I'm afraid I have to leave for a while. I'll be back as soon as I can. I'll try to get somebody to aid you in the meantime."

Lexa watched him walk away and sighed in exasperation. She tried to pretend the sole puff of air had not hurt her at all. "I shouldn't be here. I don't _need_ to be here."

"It is standard procedure, Lexa, and you _should_ be resting." Anya countered, mildly annoyed by her friend's reluctance to be taken care of.

"I _could_ be resting at home." The brunette nearly spat. "Everyone is overacting. A bad bruise and bump won't kill me."

"Staying here for a few hours won't kill you either." Anya moved closer to the bed when a horde of nurses approached to place a new patient on the adjacent bed.

Lexa's brows knitted together. "And why are you still here? As far as I know, you're now allowed to be in ER."

"Perks of being an FBI agent," The dirty blonde answered. "Besides, someone has to watch over you so that you don't do anything stupid _er_."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "I did what I had to do, Anya."

"If by that you mean that you had to act like a goddamn hero and chase that asshole on your own, then we do not live in the same dimension and your logic does not apply here, kiddo."

"Whatever…"

* * *

"Off the hook so soon?" Harper asked after noticing that Clarke was about to sneak out looking like a kid who had just grabbed some cookies without her grandma's permission.

"Uh, yeah," The blonde gave her a pocket-size smile. "My shift was supposed to finish four hours ago, but..."

"They asked you to stick around longer," Harper finished for her. "What can we do? All in a day's work, huh?"

"Yep. That's why I need to go poof before anything else ha-"

"Griffin!"

"-ppens…" Clarke closed her eyes and her feet glued to the floor. Harper held down her giggle because she didn't want to appear to be relishing in Clarke's suffering, but she wasn't very successful at it and the blonde turned to scowl at her.

Dr. Jaha was in front of Clarke in a flash. "Your presence is required in ER, Griffin. We've got our hands full. Please be there right away."

"Of course." The blonde replied even though she had inwardly groaned. She was burned out and her brain functions had diminished greatly, if not stopped altogether. How useful could someone be in that state? She was pretty sure her neurons had already put up a 'temporarily out of service' sign on her forehead.

"I knew we could count on you, _Dr_. Griffin." Jaha said and wandered off.

Clarke inhaled and exhaled in an attempt to infuse her brain with the very necessary oxygen. She straightened her shoulders and turned around to go back to where she'd come from.

She didn't miss the chance to flip Harper off on her way to ER, though.

"Love you too, Clarke!" Harper shouted before the blonde disappeared through the doors.

* * *

"Who would've thought the Commander was such a cry-baby?" Anya said with an eye-roll. "You whine like a man with the flu, for fuck's sake!"

"I'll desist once you get me out of here."

Clarke stopped dead in her tracks when she heard those voices somewhere around. She swerved to the part of the room where the argument was taking place and then she saw _her_. She blinked a few times, wondering if the scene was the product of her imagination, but nope, _s_ he _was_ there.

Anya looked ready to kill, but her face became blank when she spotted the blonde coming their way.

"This is an interesting turn of events…" She declared with a smirk breaking through.

Lexa's forehead creased and followed Anya's line of sight until her gaze stumbled upon Clarke. Her eyes went wide and she became slightly slack-jawed, but she regained her cool poise almost immediately.

"Lexa?" Clarke looked totally befuddled. Why was _she_ here?

"Clarke." The brunette acknowledged her presence with a soft nod. But that simple gesture hurt nonetheless.

Clarke speed-walked and got a hold of the chart that was placed at the foot of the bed to take a look at it.

"Blunt force trauma and…" She muttered to herself. "Where's your doctor?" She asked after perusing the form in her hands.

"Busy." Lexa responded as though it didn't matter.

"What happened?" The blonde queried visibly concerned.

"Occupational hazards." Lexa disclosed curtly and that single fact was enough for Clarke to grasp that Lexa was not at all pleased to be there.

"Lexa's superhero complex happened." Anya asserted.

Only then, did Clarke seem to regard the other FBI agent in the room. "Um, oh, hi Anya," she said a bit embarrassed. It was no one's fault that her eyes had solely been fixed on Lexa. She was the patient, right?

Anya suppressed a mocking snort. "I'm glad you're here, Clarke. Perhaps you have what it takes to tame this defiant beast."

"I am fine!" Lexa Reiterated with a vexed expression on her face.

"Let me be the judge of that." Clarke announced with a gravelly voice. She could rise to the challenge. "This is my field of expertise and you will be fine provided I tell you so, ok Lexa? You are a patient and I expect you to be on your best behavior." Yes. Dr. Griffin mode _on_.

For an instant, surprise overtook Lexa's face. Her mouth opened in disbelief before it was set in a hard line. A muscle in her jaw twitched, but no words were spoken.

Anya lifted an eyebrow at her friend's reaction. "Wow… Had I known this part of you before, I would've taken you to our raid to keep Lexa in line."

Clarke shook her head, dismissing the comment. One of the corners of her mouth quirked up, though.

"Any other aches I should be aware of?" the blonde asked, moving closer to the head of the bed.

"I have a huge pain in my rear which is standing right next to me and growing by the second." Lexa replied.

"My heart would be wounded if I had one." Anya said dryly.

"I'm afraid you are in the wrong area. Pediatrics is on the second floor." Clarke folded her arms visibly unenthusiastic.

That got them both quiet.

"Anya, I'm afraid you cannot be here," the blonde observed. "Please, wait outside. I promise I'll look after her."

"I was just here to restrain here if necessary, but I guess you can handle her." The dirty blonde agent smirked one last time before she gave Lexa a pointed look, and then she was making her way out of ER.

Clarke studied Lexa briefly. The brunette was making an effort to hide her discomfort, but she knew better. Her breathing was shallow as though she didn't want to move her abdominal muscles too much. Her fingers sometimes gripped the sheet firmly, which meant she was indeed in pain, but reluctant to admit it.

"Which doctor checked up on you?" Clarke asked. The chart had been partially filled up.

"Dr. Sinclair."

"Okay. Let me seek him out to see whether he's coming back soon," Clarke said. "It'll take a second, alright?"

Lexa simply nodded and watched her leave.

She closed her eyes and let her body relax. Or at least tried to. The place was too overwhelming for her to feel at ease. She could just get up and flee, couldn't she? The doors were barely ten meters away, and everyone was distracted, and…

"Guess you're stuck with me," Clarke's voice jerked out of her thoughts and her eyes landed on the smug-looking doctor. "Dr. Sinclair said I could attend to you since everybody is unavailable at the moment, so…"

Maybe at any other time, Lexa would have come up with a cynical reply. Being taken care of was not something she was used to. Feeling physically disabled and useless made her blood boil, but this was Clarke, and she had been nothing but considerate and sweet to her, so she swallowed the remark down and pressed her lips together.

The blonde didn't miss the brunette's awkward body language. "Look, I know how upsetting hospitals can be, but the more cooperative you are, the sooner we'll get everything done and, if you're lucky, you might be out of here today."

"It's almost midnight, Clarke."

"Well, tomorrow morning then," Clarke rolled her eyes. "That's not the point anyway. Just… bear with me, ok?"

Lexa assented.

Clarke's eyes were so blue and they burned with so much kindness…

"Now, I'll have to unbutton your shirt."

 _That_ got Lexa's attention. Surely someone would have to do it before long, but…

Wait. Was Clarke blushing?

"To check the area where the bullet hit." Clarke rushed to add. She then looked away for a moment and Lexa thought she could see a pink shade covering her cheeks. She herself felt a bit hot around the collar, although it could be due to the warm temperature in the room. That was the most logical explanation.

"I'll do it." Lexa quickly proclaimed. Picturing the blonde so close to her grazing her skin with her fingers sent a tingling sensation through her body and there was no way she would let it show.

Clarke assented and got busy with the medical chart. She looked like she was going over it carefully, even though Lexa was sure the blonde had already read everything some minutes before.

The FBI agent set to work and started unbuttoning her shirt. She loosened up the buttons slowly, _very_ slowly and Clarke bit her lower lip nervously, frowning at the words in the chart, which had become now meaningless scribbles.

Lexa felt her skin on fire when Clarke's gaze landed on her. The blonde gave her a once-over and her eyes might have lingered a little above her abdomen. Just a little.

 _Sweet Jesus._ Clarke cleared her throat, her suddenly dried throat and drew near her. She fetched some latex gloves from one of her pickets in her coat and put them on. "I'm going to apply some pressure," She said. "If it's too much, let me know."

 _It is already too much_ , Lexa thought. Her mind was racing a thousand miles an hour, as well as her pulse. Hell, she could feel her heartbeat _everywhere_.

Clarke reached out hesitantly. Her fingers were a little shaky, but she hoped it wouldn't be noticeable. She looked at Lexa's face and the brunette's eyes were zeroed in on somewhere in front of her, maybe on the farthest wall, maybe on one of the many beds in the area. However, Clarke was thankful for that because she didn't want to come across as a rookie intern/doctor with self-control issues.

 _Holy fuck_ … Lexa's upper abdomen was completely reddened. She would sport a monstrous bruise in a couple of hours. It was a total shame because those deliciously toned abs didn't deserve it.

Lexa got as stiff as a board and her abdomen quivered. Clarke inwardly groaned. It was _so not fair_. Those tensed and well-defined muscles begged for attention, but of a different kind. Maybe body shots, maybe raking nails, maybe…

"Clarke?"

The blonde literally jolted and attempted to steel herself. "Yeah?" Her voice wavering.

"That's my lower abdomen. The bullet hit higher."

Clarke's whole body became scarlet and she knew probably looked like a fucking lobster. "Uh, yeah… I am just examining the surrounding area to measure the extend of the impact _." Oh, what a load of bullshit, Griffin! You were sooo busted!_

Lexa seemed to take her at her word, but that didn't account for the abrupt redness spreading over every inch of Clarke's exposed skin.

 _You're a useless bisexual, Griffin… Focus, damn it!_

The next touch was bolder and closer to the marred spot. Lexa hissed in pain despite the gentle palpation. A part of Clarke wanted to pull away, but she decided to keep going to finish more quickly.

After exploring every inch – she had to be thorough -, Clarke was finally satisfied (not really) and ended the examination.

"The bad news is that you won't be able to belly-dance for a while," Clarke announced with a playful glint in her eyes. "The good news is that I don't think your internal organs were damaged. However, a TC scan is very advisable."

Lexa let out a disgruntled grunt and began buttoning up her shirt. Clarke almost sniffed.

"Advisable doesn't mean mandatory." Lexa argued.

"If this is you being cooperative, let me tell you that you're falling short." The blonde admonished.

"I am still here, aren't I?" Her rebuttal dripping with sullenness.

Clarke glanced up to the ceiling. "Whatever happened with the sweet Lexa I had a cup of coffee with?"

"I must have left her in my other pair of pants."

The blonde sighed in defeat and moved closer. "Lean forward, please. I'm going to check that big head of yours."

Lexa released her own sigh of resignation and did as she was requested. Something told her that Clarke wasn't going to let up and she didn't know whether to find it amusing or aggravating. Somehow, the blonde managed to bring forth ambivalent feelings and emotions in her.

"On a scale from one to ten, how badly does it hurt?" Clarke asked inspecting the back of her head with great care.

"Four." Came the succinct answer.

Clarke applied light pressure somewhere around the distinguishable bump while keeping an eye on the brunette. Upon feeling the deliberate touch, the FBI agent couldn't help but wince.

"Lexa…" The blonde egged her on, not buying it.

"Fine... Eight." Lexa relented. The twinge in her head was too powerful to disguise and she was pretty sure Clarke had already seen her body's explicit reaction.

The intern's hand moved away and Lexa was able to set her head back onto the softness of the pillow.

"It wasn't that hard, wasn't it?" asked the blonde looking straight into the brunette's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Being transparent. Not pretending you're _fine_ the whole time," the expression on Clarke's face became less harsh. "You are allowed to feel pain and to feel weak, you know."

Lexa tightened her jaw at the mention of that word. _Weak_.

The blonde noticed her uneasiness, of course she noticed. "Feeling weak is not the same as _being_ weak, Lexa," Clarke went on. "You are a very strong woman, hell, people call you _The Commander_ for a reason, but you are still human and capable of getting hurt and no one will think less of you under these circumstances."

Lexa averted her gaze for a second. "I don't like feeling useless, Clarke." Her confession was nearly a whisper.

Clarke placed her hand on Lexa's forearm and if both felt sparkling warmth running through their bodies, they pretended they hadn't.

"You aren't useless, Lexa," She cooed. "You only need some rest, that's all."

For a moment, they held each other's gazes and everything else was just… insubstantial.

Tender oceans of cobalt and guarded wells of emerald converged. Lexa was enthralled by those glittering eyes which showed so much fondness. A fondness she was unprepared for, a fondness that was not supposed to be there since they barely knew each other. And yet, there it was, enveloping her in peacefulness and in something else she couldn't name, or wouldn't dare to name.

"Griffin!"

The blonde startled and yanked her hand away instantly, breaking eye contact with the agent. Lexa drew in a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

Dr. Sinclair looked at Clarke briefly. "The CT scanner is available right now, so get a move on. We will use it as soon as we stabilize some or our patients." He gave the agent a small smile and he was gone.

Clarke cleared her throat and ignored the inexplicable heat running through her body.

"Well, agent Woods, let's get you ready…"

* * *

It had taken a lifetime for Lexa to finally go through the procedure. After the computed tomography, Clarke had excused herself and had told her the results would be ready in a couple of hours due to the radiologist's frenetic schedule. So, Lexa found herself back to the ER bed at about 3 a.m.

She was exhausted, crabby, and terribly hungry. Her headache had subsided a little, it was mostly bearable. Her abdomen was pulsing, but she knew it would be doing that for the following days, so she would just have to deal with it.

She really didn't want to wait any longer and she truly missed the softness of her mattress and the quietness of her own penthouse.

The agent looked around and saw a group of nurses hurriedly bursting into the Emergency Room. A young woman was on the stretcher they were bringing in and she was covered in blood. Lexa could see streams of the red liquid oozing from several wounds in her chest.

The brunette's heart constricted. A raw and distant memory was triggered.

 _That woman looks like…_

Lexa closed her eyes and willed herself to focus on the present, to keep herself grounded.

That was not Costia. Costia was already dead. And she herself was still alive and she didn't need to be where the smell of agony and death lingered.

Without giving it a second thought, the agent got up paying no heed to her pain and ventured out of ER, stumbling through the medical staff who was so snowed under with work that didn't even care to ask where she was going.

"I am really sorry, here are your results…" Clarke shifted her gaze from the document in her hand and blinked at the empty bed in front of her. "What the hell…" Her eyes quickly combed through the room searching for Lexa. When she was unable to locate her, she marched towards Dr. Sinclair who was giving instructions to a nurse.

"Doctor, have you seen Le… Agent Woods?" Clarke asked, concern written all over her face.

"No, I thought she was with you." His forehead puckered.

The blonde pressed her lips together. "Ok, maybe she is in the restroom." _She'd better be…_

The man nodded and turned to the nurse to carry on with their conversation.

Clarke darted out of ER feeling her blood boil. She stopped by the restroom just in case, even though something had told her it would be pointless.

Her hunch had been on spot.

Frustrated, she stopped by the reception counter. "Harper, did you see a brunette woman in a white shirt pass by?"

Harper grimaced. "Um, yeah… Like an hour ago. She kinda… left."

"What do you mean she left?!" Clarke roared. Harper was afraid a vein in the blonde's neck would pop out.

"I saw her getting out of ER, but I was so busy with paperwork and phone calls that I let her be… And since she wasn't bleeding or anything…" The receptionist's face turned red.

Clarke was fuming. She wanted to grab the phone and smack Harper upside the head with it, or better yet, whack Lexa on her obtuse head with it, concussion or not.

She turned and she stared angrily at the exit doors.

"Lexa Woods, you are in .Trouble…"


End file.
